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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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Cindy

A farmer lived in ancient Rome. He was working in the fields one day when he came across a giant strawberry, about one foot wide and 18 inches high. He thought this would be a novelty that many would want to see, so he took it home, washed it off, and set up a display in a case. He advertised the giant strawberry far and wide, and people came from all over to see the exhibit. He charged admission and made a pile of money.

However, he failed to report his earnings to the tax authorities, so they came to his farm to confiscate the exhibit. When they arrived at his door, he said, "I suppose you have come all this way to admire my exhibit as well?"

"No," they said. "We've come to seize your berry, not to praise it."






Edited title a bit to merge topics
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dalebert

The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.

You will moan, you will groan, you will hide your face and snicker in silent shame.


immortal gypsy

Quote from: dalebert on June 23, 2014, 08:18:45 PM
The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.


So we are saying these are "The Six Million Dollar Jokes"
Personally I prefered Jamie Sommers over Steve Austin
Do not fear those who have nothing left to lose, fear those who are prepared to lose it all

Si vis bellum, parra pacem
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Nero

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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V M

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a rhinoceros?

Not quite sure, but it certainly is a horny little pecker 
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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EmoAlice

Quote from: FA on June 23, 2014, 08:33:51 PM
Must be really bad, cause I don't get it.  :laugh: Nice shoes though.

ten issues = tennis shoes
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Jill F

Quote from: V M on June 23, 2014, 08:58:27 PM
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a rhinoceros?

Not quite sure, but it certainly is a horny little pecker

Oh, that's bad.  Reminds me of this one you've all heard since the beginning of time.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino.

I was going to post this piece of crap-
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish.
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: dalebert on June 23, 2014, 08:18:45 PM
The last bad jokes thread was lost to malware, but we have rebuilt it--stronger, faster, cheesier than before.

You will moan, you will groan, you will hide your face and snicker in silent shame.

Oh my...civilization has been set back an undetermined number of time-units with the loss...;)
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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dalebert

I commented in another thread how devastated I am. It's like the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Dee Marshall

Wanna hear a good knock knock joke?

You start.
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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dalebert

Bad joke is right at the beginning of the video if you don't want to watch the whole thing. :)


dalebert

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction!

The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, 'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'

When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."

The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked,

"By the way, just in case: how do I stop the medicine working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"

Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, but then she asked...........

"What was the 1-2-3 for.......?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Nero

Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Shantel

This tickled my funny bone, it's so how my kids were!

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