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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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xponentialshift

Quote from: AnnaCannibal on July 11, 2014, 08:34:39 PM
Why couldn't the fungus fit into the car?

Because there wasn't mushroom.

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
How about:
Why didn't the fun-guy get into the car?
Because there wasn't mush-room.

Maybe fit in the word spore-adic somewhere?
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Handy

I think this qualifies to be here; it's definitely a bad joke.

So a friend of mine was sending me a zip file, and told me it would take a minute because it was a few megs... thus, INSPIRATION STRUCK!
I'd take credit for this gag, but it seems so obvious I refuse to believe someone hasn't done it before me.

an exchange with my friend:
On HRT 2 years - Full time 1/7/14
EE-Comp Engineering Student and Cartoon Lover
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K Style Addiction

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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Stephanie2

Someone goes into a bar and hears one of the customers saying to the bartender "Hey, Jack Ass, bring me a beer." A short time later he again says "Hey, Jack Ass, bring me another beer." Well, this keeps going on for quite a while, so the person, who is so amazed by this, asks the bartender "Why are you letting that guy call you Jack Ass?" The bartender answers by saying "Aww-ee-aww, ee-awwlways calls me that."
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Shantel

The Funeral

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice,
because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every
moment of life. As a b>-bleeped-<iper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked
by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless
man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a
pauper's cemetery in the Blue Ridge, Georgia back country at Chigger
Ridge..

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and,
being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had
evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only
the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and
apologized to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the
vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I
started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather
around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and
friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to
weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I
packed up my b>-bleeped-<ipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung
low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers
say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in
septic tanks for twenty years."

Apparently, I'm still lost....it's a man thing.
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V M

The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Handy

On HRT 2 years - Full time 1/7/14
EE-Comp Engineering Student and Cartoon Lover
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dalebert

TIL that Norman Borlaug (the father of the Green Revolution) learned that he received the Nobel Peace Prize while working in his wheat test plot in Mexico; he learned that he was outstanding in his field while he was out standing in his field.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Borlaug#Nobel_Peace_Prize



Michaela Whimsy

Smashing pumpkins....  That's awesome.  Great song
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Cindy

A man has been going around stabbing people with knitting needles.

Police think he is following a pattern.
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Shantel

Quote from: Cindy on July 26, 2014, 05:40:08 PM
A man has been going around stabbing people with knitting needles.

Police think he is following a pattern.

Waaaa Haha corny kind of funny!  :D
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LordKAT

Rename your ipod 'The Titanic'. When you attach it to your computer to charge, it will say 'The Titanic is synching.'

borrowed from Readers Digest July 2014
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K Style Addiction

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
  •  

K Style Addiction

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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