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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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K Style Addiction

#161
September 23, 2014, 03:42:33 PM
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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dalebert

#162
September 24, 2014, 10:26:23 AM
What's long, hard, and sticky?

-A stick.
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Kittenswithmittens

#166
September 25, 2014, 03:49:39 PM
"She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by - and never knew."
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Kittenswithmittens

#167
September 25, 2014, 04:11:39 PM
I want a pet fish like this.

"She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by - and never knew."
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Kittenswithmittens

#168
September 25, 2014, 04:25:15 PM
"She had blue skin, and so did he. He kept it hid, and so did she. They searched for blue their whole life through, then passed right by - and never knew."
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K Style Addiction

#169
September 25, 2014, 05:05:28 PM
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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K Style Addiction

#170
September 26, 2014, 04:15:19 PM
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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Jo-is-amazing

#172
September 26, 2014, 05:24:55 PM
Why did the Scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Because he was out-standing in his field
I am the self proclaimed Queen of procrastination
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dalebert

#175
September 27, 2014, 10:36:09 PM
"In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell.
Bell rings. Is no wind.
Undertaker asks - "Are you lady Gorbochev?"
Voice says "Yes!"
"Born winter of 1927?"
"Yes!"
"Gravestone says 'Died 20 February, 1957"
"Niet, am still living!"
"Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June."
And woman is true Soviet, waits for June."
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Shantel

#178
September 28, 2014, 09:30:49 AM
IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS  AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".

Boat  Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. 

Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".

IRS  AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
   
Boat  Owner: "That would be me. What would you like to know"?
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dalebert

#179
September 29, 2014, 11:06:04 AM


I'm pretty sure that for some couples, "one I don't hate as much as the others" can quickly devolve into "one I hate more than anyone else".
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