If you don't like somewhat non PC jokes please look away now, this one came from my old boss, a 70 year old cockney so you should know what to expect...
I was cooking in the kitchen today and next thing i knew this thing had flown in through the window, buzzed around the wifes head then exploded on the kettle!
The wife says "what the bloody hell was that?!?"
"Don't worry dear" I tried to reassure her, "its was just one of those jihaddy longlegs"
I'll get my coat...