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The Totally New Even More Bad Jokes Thread

Started by Cindy, June 22, 2014, 09:06:08 PM

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rachel89

#760
June 21, 2015, 12:10:32 AM
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like such a failure."
Doctor: "I assure you, anyone who can pay my fees is not a failure."


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stephaniec

#761
June 21, 2015, 12:29:15 AM
 :)
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rachel89

#763
June 22, 2015, 02:06:07 AM
Q: What do call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.


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rachel89

#764
June 22, 2015, 02:23:07 AM
Q: Why was it easy for airport security to find Rush Limbaugh's illegal Viagra stash?
A: Because he looked like a hardened criminal!



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rachel89

#765
June 22, 2015, 02:26:53 AM
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors.
A: because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan ;)


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Lady Smith

#766
June 22, 2015, 03:25:53 AM
Quote from: rachel89 on June 22, 2015, 02:26:53 AM
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors.
A: because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan ;)

:laugh: :icon_giggle: :icon_lol:
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rachel89

#767
June 22, 2015, 09:17:24 AM
Police arrest two men, one eating batteries and the other for eating fireworks. Police charge one and let the other off.


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rachel89

#768
June 22, 2015, 09:23:38 AM
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "Give me some chap-stick... and put it on my bill"


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Beth Andrea

#769
June 22, 2015, 09:39:10 AM
Quote from: rachel89 on June 22, 2015, 09:23:38 AM
So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "Give me some chap-stick... and put it on my bill"

Got any grapes?
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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rachel89

#771
June 22, 2015, 10:21:59 AM
A blind guy goes into a convenience store with his seeing eye dog and then he commences to grab his dog's leash and starts swinging him around. The store clerk screams 'What are you doing?!?!' The blind man says 'just looking around.'


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rachel89

#772
June 22, 2015, 10:24:40 AM
Q: What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?
A: Shark-infested mashed potatoes :P


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Beth Andrea

#774
June 22, 2015, 06:48:21 PM
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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rachel89

#775
June 23, 2015, 01:24:12 PM
Q: What do you call an MTF transsexual electrical engineer?
A: A transister!!
<groan>


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ainsley

#776
June 23, 2015, 01:35:07 PM
Love it!  I will use that one, Rachel. ;)
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
Shape of A GIRL!
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rachel89

#777
June 23, 2015, 03:04:38 PM
I didn't even steal that one from another website, its my own I think, although I'm pretty sure I'm not the first trans woman to crack that groanworthy joke.


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rachel89

#778
June 23, 2015, 03:17:44 PM
"got any nails?"


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Marlee

#779
June 27, 2015, 02:54:25 PM
Ran into an arrogant guy once who incessantly referred to himself as handsome.

That is, until I told him that sex with three was called a threesome, and sex with two is called a twosome
..are you sure you want to be called handsome?
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