Bi-gender? Is that a thing?

[AmandaJones]

So, trying to work out who I am, and looking through various trans* things in search of inspiration (isn't Pinterest wonderful?), I had another one of those moments where seeing something termed a specific way makes it finally click.

The term I came across was bigender (which I shall spell bi-gender to stop me misreading it as big-ender).

From what I can tell of the inside of my head, there are two versions of me... male-me (name withheld, let's call him B) and female-me (Mandy). Now, I love it when I can be Mandy, and more so since she's the side of me that gets most repressed. But I'm coming to realise that I also value the times when I can be B (though not all of them, especially the ones where I have no choice).

My gender dysphoria... As much as I consider large parts of my physique to be horrid and to be removed (I'm trying to build up to the point where I can wax myself from the neck down and do a pinup photo shoot), there are other bits that... don't bother me. I don't consider my genitals wrong, even if they're occasionally annoying. I can't see myself getting any medical intervention, since anything that makes Mandy more anatomically complete involves making B less so, which wouldn't make me happy.

The point of this rant: is wanting to be able to switch gender expression at will weirder than the normal (even taking the general trans community as a 'normal' baseline)? Is it an awful idea? Am I just overthinking being a-gender in an attempt to be special? I'd love to hear what you folks think.

[Jessica Merriman]

There is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. There is no normal so just be who you are comfortable being. No one should be locked in with labels, those are for soup and corn! 

[Eva Marie]

Bigender is most certainly a thing. I identified as bigender for a very long time and I experienced the "flip flopping" between feeling male and feeling female. I know quite a few other people from a forum for bigender people - they exist.

My dysphoria ramped up after a number of years and the flip flopping stopped, leaving me in full time girl mode so I left the bigender forum and spend time here now. You can pm me for the URL of that bigender forum if you are interested.

[Jess42]

Most definately is a thing, that's me pretty much. Going from one to the other and mixing aspects of both.

[VickyMI]

That's me too as I enjoy both sides. I wish I had inflatable boobs on demand.

I don't hate my male life at all but if forced I could live female 100%.

[AmandaJones]

Good to know I'm not alone in things!

I rather wish I could be a lot more androgynous, would make switching and passing easier.

[suzifrommd]

So, trying to work out who I am, and looking through various trans* things in search of inspiration (isn't Pinterest wonderful?), I had another one of those moments where seeing something termed a specific way makes it finally click.

The term I came across was bigender (which I shall spell bi-gender to stop me misreading it as big-ender).

From what I can tell of the inside of my head, there are two versions of me... male-me (name withheld, let's call him B) and female-me (Mandy). Now, I love it when I can be Mandy, and more so since she's the side of me that gets most repressed. But I'm coming to realise that I also value the times when I can be B (though not all of them, especially the ones where I have no choice).

My gender dysphoria... As much as I consider large parts of my physique to be horrid and to be removed (I'm trying to build up to the point where I can wax myself from the neck down and do a pinup photo shoot), there are other bits that... don't bother me. I don't consider my genitals wrong, even if they're occasionally annoying. I can't see myself getting any medical intervention, since anything that makes Mandy more anatomically complete involves making B less so, which wouldn't make me happy.

The point of this rant: is wanting to be able to switch gender expression at will weirder than the normal (even taking the general trans community as a 'normal' baseline)? Is it an awful idea? Am I just overthinking being a-gender in an attempt to be special? I'd love to hear what you folks think.

Amanda, I've had very similar feelings. Funny that I never wanted to call myself bigender because "my end is not big, thankyouverymuch". 

What I finally realized is that the female is there at the core, my authentic self, and the male parts (which are not completely gone, despite living full time for more than a year and having SRS this week) are grafted on because of having (and accepting) a male body and living as a male for so many decades.

What I've discovered, and my gender therapist agrees, is that what's important is how you want to live - to present, to be perceived, what you want your body to be. Your gender, and especially the description of what it's non-binary nature is, is unimportant.

[Edge]

As others have said, it is definitely a thing. I just wanted to add this link in case you're interested:
http://www.bigender.net/forum/index.php

[E-Brennan]

Yes, it's a thing.  But don't confuse being bigender (rare) with the exploratory early stages of plain old transgender (far less rare).  I went the bigender route for a long time, and it turns out that I was just trying to cling to the safe old male identity I had lived with for my entire life.  There really weren't days where I was happy being a guy.  There were days where I tolerated it because I had other things to worry about than wanting to be a girl, but in general I usually wanted to be a girl 99% of the time.  The bigender self-diagnosis was a way of easing myself into this whole new world, kind of a way of making sure that I had an escape route if I needed one.

After getting some therapy (and therapy is a great way of figuring out who you really are), then getting on the beginning stages of HRT, I feel far more comfortable with a stable, single "personality" - female (or something close to female).  The bigender detour was valuable in its own way, but nowhere near the destination I'm heading for today.

[Virginia]

IIRC, bigender is recognized in DSM-V, and UofCA has done at least one study on what they call "Alternating Gender Incongruity."

There are many reasons a person may need to express themself as more than one gender that have absolutely nothing to do with gender. I am in therapy  for dissociative identity disorder (DID)/Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) resulting from childhood trauma and have male and female alters as part of my System.

Having been a moderator on the forum mentioned about for about 4 years, I can second that more often than than not for people with solitary identities, bigender turns out to be a transgender exploratory phase rather than a "stable" gender state. It is, however extremely common for people with DID to have systems with male and female alters. Male alters give female trauma victims the strength they do not believe themselves to possess as women. Female alters give men a way to justify in their minds the horror of having been molested and a way to resolve the resulting sexual confusion.

[Greeneyedrebel]

The only person who gets to determine your gender is YOU. And that can be a binary, a combination, no gender, multiple gender identities....it's about YOU being YOU.

So yes indeed...bigender is certainly a thing!

[awilliams1701]

I think that's me as well. I see various aspects of my personality are male, female, or mixed between the two but they don't change. I was born male, but I relate to others as female. Ive seen another type of bi-gender where you are either fully male or fully female. You switch between the two at various times. This is called gender fluid.

[Felix]

That seems like a common and respectable identity for a lot of people.

[adrienne t]

That hit the nail right on the head.Me also...off now to check out that forum!