I don't want to go to my family reunion.

[PrincessPatience]

My grandmothers birthday is coming up so she's having a big birthday party with all my family members who I haven't seen in over 2 years are coming. I'm still in the closet to my dad's family but everyone in my imidiate family knows. My parents are still having a hard time accepting it but I don't wanna go there and put on a fake smile and act like everything is okay. I promised myself that I wanted to be out by the summer yet my only setback of me going full time is my family. I'm TIRED of hiding and acting like being myself is shameful yet at the same time I know I have no choice but to go. I'm 21 but at the same time if I don't go my parents will be very upset with me.

[helen2010]

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.  I know that this will be very stressful for you.  However in many ways this is about your grandmother and you are doing this as a gift to her.  Whether you present as yourself, andro or male it is your call.  Not knowing your father or his likely reaction I can't advise how you should handle this, but I know that when I have surprised people it hasn't gone well for me.

Safe travels

Aisla

[awilliams1701]

I think my deal is going to be coming out to everyone when I start HRT. I'm not going to be able to hide it forever so why should I hide it at that point? Of course my parents(who already know) were just telling me about how bad its going to get with one of my brother in laws. I already knew it was going to be bad since he once told me all gay people should be stoned, but now it sounds even worse. I hope I don't lose one of my sisters over this. I have one that already knows and accepts. The oldest one will probably be ok in the end. Its the youngest and her husband I'm most concerned about. When they met I thought he was supposed to be cool because if you meet your wife playing World of Warcraft you have to be cool right? NOPE!

[Hannahh]

Hi,
There are different ways to go.
I do not know your relationship with yours grandmothers. If you have a good relationship, may be think to their happiness and accept to forget a little you.
other way : use this big party to be totally yourself if it is what you really want in the depth of you and reveal you with everybody.
If it is not for yours grandmothers, may be the happiness of your parents.
To receive in life, you (we) need to give...
But always give with a real smile
And with all the answers you get, feel in the depth of you to find what you really want to do for you first. Sometimes, we prefer really to think to the others before our because it is more happiness...
Hannah (h)

[ChelseaAnn]

In my opinion, I wouldn't honestly do a "big reveal" at someone's party. It could take attention from them, cause jealousy, or worse, cause a fight, making everyone hostile towards one another.

I understand how you feel. I had to go to Christmas not long after I finally became comfortable with knowing who I was. I have 3 female cousins, and I would have loved to compliment them on their clothes, or ask them where they got things, etc. But it wasn't the right time. (I talked to them a month ago, and they are fine with everything).

Like I said, in my opinion, just wait a little. If you are really not feeling up to it, just say you aren't feeling well. If your parents get angry that you don't go, they'll get over it. If you "make a scene," that will take months or years to repair, if at all.

[Ravensong]

I am actually is the same boat, if you will.  I will be flying in two weeks to see family I haven't seen in 3+ years.  Grandmother is paying for me, my (soon to be ex) wife and daughters to come.  She is paying for everything, because she knows we can't afford to come otherwise, and she's been planning this for a year as she knows she's gonna die soon (soon being relative, maybe years away).  Some of my family on the other side "knows", but no one one my dad's side (the side of the reunion).  We're flying up a few days before the actual reunion to talk to some of the family, and I'm going to come out to them officially then.  At the reunion, I'm not going to hide myself, but I'm not going to flaunt it either.  I'll probably be dressing andro, as I don't fully dress out.  I just can't do it yet.  If people ask, I'll tell them, but I'm not going to announce it or make a big deal out of it.

To be honest, I have a lot of respect for my grandmothers and some of my extended family, but my parents and brother, not so much.... because of other reasons, not trans-related.

Heh...maybe if I get a good enough pic at the reunion, I'll change my profile pic....