Today I completed my very first therapy session and I couldn't be happier!
The therapist I spoke with (a licensed social worker/ psychotherapist with a lot of transgender patient history and expertise) was the sweetest, most laid-back and easy to talk to I could have imagined!
When I arrived at her building, I panicked a bit, finding no sign of her name anywhere on the building or suite listings, but I continued to the floor and room she had specified for me and on asking a receptionist, I was assured I had come to the correct place (like I wasn't nervous enough to begin with!)
I waited only a minute or two and she welcomed me into her office which was very spacious and comfy. I filled out the paperwork, got all that boring stuff taken care of, and then we proceeded to the interview of sorts!
She was quite casual and conversational in how she conducted the session (while still very professional). She asked me lots of things, of course. Why I've decided to begin therapy, how I feel about starting the process of coming out and transitioning, my history, my relationships with family and friends, my emotional state, any anxieties I have about the situation.
Another thing she addressed, which I actually had not considered at all, was my sleep problems. I don't know whether or not this is actually linked to having gender-related anxieties, but I was glad that she spoke a bit in-depth with me about it.
She also spoke with me about where I feel like I am in the process of coming out. I explained that only a few people know and I have yet to tell my family, and she was very supportive and offered to send some printed information resources to help my family understand (if I felt it necessary).
Another thing that shocked me about my session:
My therapist informed me that in my state (RI) it is actually NOT required anymore to have therapy in order to continue with the transition process! While letters of referral are still needed for hormone therapy and surgery, there's no longer a requirement of extended therapy before these things can be acquired.
I was very excited to hear this, but I informed her I'd like to return for therapy anyway, as I felt it'd be useful for me and of course she was happy to hear this.
She offered to be the most generous resource possible, giving me information for peer support groups, reading material (her own personally-owned books, super nice!), as well as names of highly recommended doctors in the state that are leaders in transgender health care.
I was blown away by what a success my first therapy session was! Thank you thank you, wonderful lady!
I am going back for another appointment in two weeks, which I am very much looking forward to.
Taking this first step has made a huuge difference in my confidence and outlook on my plans to transition.
Now for a funny/awful/heart-attack-moment story:
Immediately after walking out of the building, I called my girlfriend to relay all the good news to her. We texted for a few minutes after as well, and I typed out this message:
"Another thing she mentioned, she can offer some printed info for my family to read if that will help them understand better after I come out"
I hit send.
And realized it did not send to my girlfriend,
but to my DAD.
*insert heart attack*
I quickly followed that up with a text to him:
"Well.. That was an accident. Ignore that, if at all possible."
I panicked for several minutes after, not knowing what to expect (as you can guess, I am NOT quite at the point of being ready to tell my family)
He called minutes later (as he had told me he would earlier today to reschedule some dinner plans we made)
"Hi~. I got that text that wasn't meant for me"
we laughed together a moment,
and that was it.
No more mention of it, just the same usual comfortable conversations we usually have, him letting me know he would be working late and we'd have dinner another day, as expected.
I thought, that can't be it. He has to say something about it
But nope.
Crisis averted, I guess.
What a roller coaster.
