Am I missing something here? Vampires, don't cast reflections (or sparkle), do they?
All said in jest, to maybe make you smile, a bit. Being down, not knowing which way you are headed, or worse, know, or think you are headed in the wrong direction (<-- definitely me). You said, you are counting the day to begin again. Knowing your destination, is the first step.
(trigger warning)
Mine. I have no idea. You might have read, I have decided to revert, to keep my 30yr marriage and relationship with my family. I don't -have- a destination, the one that would seem likely now, is one I began running from. But like the dream (nightmare) I had this morning, I was driving, the wrong way, on an interstate. With no way to get on the other side, facing and dodging oncoming cars. every time I came to a turn-around in the median, there was a cop, and where there wasn't, the crossover, put me back on the wrong side. No destination. My journey, will ultimately break me down, kill me, emotionally, spiritually, not physically, I don't think.. but who knows.
The hard truth. Who is in me? How can I keep her locked in again? Buried, what took 55yrs to dig out, finally uncover. Reflections? Like a vampire, I will have none. I will shun all mirrors. I will not cast a shadow, My heart, and my mind will burn, like the Vulcan PahnFar, only it will not be to mate. It will be to fade, that is my reflection.
Why would I do this to myself? I don't honestly know. But my mate has been with me, for more time, than I have been without her. Would there come a time, I would just, stop hiding? Probably, but I hope, when that day comes, I die the very next day.
