What's your opinion on transgender children?

[awilliams1701]

I used to think that you should be at least 18, but now I'm not so sure. I figured you can't possibly understand what's going to happen at that point. However, I see that's not necessarily true and if you can do it before puberty, its easier to get your desired appearance.

[Silver Centurion]

I saw a couple of news things on 20-20 and such about transkids and hormone blockers and it was really informative. I think if a child knows who they are and have lived as their correct gender and work with doctors, therapists and the like that they should be able to go on blockers when puberty rears itself. From there HRT when it is their time. Tacking an appropriate age on something isn't going to work. What works is figuring out each kids situation and making the best call for them because everyone is different.

I was born in the late seventies and grew up in the 80s not knowing a thing. Had I and my mom known about transgender a lot of things would have made sense and things would have been different. I could have grown up the way I wanted to and have blocked the changes to my body which would have been NICE. Instead I was miserable and struggling with a lot of social issues because I was uber masculine. I'm glad that kids now and days are inheriting a world where there is such a wealth of information and its easily accessible. It may save a lot of kids a lot of heartache and depression to be able to be who they are.

[jussmoi4nao]

This is my view. I think kids *can* know these things at an early age...actually I know they can cuz I did..but parents can't interpret whether the feelings are genuine simply because 3 year olds can't articulate themselves well enough.

I say this. If a child demonstrates that they might be trans at an early age, keep the door open. Allow them to express themselves as they choose, talk to them about it, make sure they know you care and accept them. Then when they get to the age of 12 and understand things better, talk to them about puberty blockers. If that's something they want to pursue..at that point it's very unlikely that it's a phase. So I say get them on that and then full course HRT (if they still want it) at 16.

[aleon515]

I know a few moms of trans kids and a couple kids. We have enough locally we actually have a playgroup. I think these kids definitely do know and that the blockers can be life savers. I don't know that they are in for a horrible life and so on. I think that since they are accepted by their parents and have lots of support they may have a fairly normal happy life. Sure they may have a surgery (but may be spared top surgery, either way). But many people have surgeries and live good lives. I know a 20 year old trans guy who transitioned early and is like "what's the big deal".

The blockers have been prescribed for another condition and have a good track record.

I agree there are fluid kids and kids who are just non-conforming. That's the point of blockers to buy time to figure this stuff out.


--Jay

[Bombadil]

I'm pretty sure we all knew SOMETHING then-but can they understand the implications of being transgender?  That they'll probably need to undergo painful and expensive surgery to feel complete and fit in, and even then might not feel right with their bodies?  The bullying and isolation they could face, just for being themselves?  Even if a child understands who and what they are, I just can't imagine them understanding the challenges that they'll face. 

If they don't transition young, aren't they still likely to be facing some of these issues? And are those issues true for all? It seems like you are painting the worst case scenario. And are you sure they are going to be facing bullying? Things are changing. Children of today have a much different attitude than in the past. And if you start younger, children are often more accepting. Especially if they have supportive parents and schools.

And why do they have to understand that all right away? I guess I'm making the assumption that if they don't transition as children they will as adults. That it's not really a choice. So if it's not much of a choice, why do they have to be loaded down by all these possibilities, when things are changing so rapidly?

Also, you say that social transition is almost as permanent as surgery. It may depend on where you live, but I think of all the kids who transform themselves wildly at some point in their growing years. Kids who enter high school as a completely different sort of person than they were before. When I think about my elementary school there were 2 girls who seemed sort of like me. I paid attention to them because of that similarity. When we entered junior high one of them became a girl. (heh!) She was hard to recognize because she was so different that the "tom boy" I'd known. After a bit, no one remembered her as anything different than who she was in junior high.

letting kids use blockers or cut or grow there hair and present as the other gender isn't a life sentence. it's an opportunity and if it doesn't work for them, it's not to late to live as their gender at birth. That's my take. I'll get off the soap box now. sheesh did I go one.

You also say that social transition is almost as permanent as surgeries.

[Inanna]

Question - If HRT begins in the late teens after puberty blockers for 4+ years, will development be the same as though they'd started HRT at 12?

In other words, will bone structure and (for mtfs) breast development reach full potential?

[androgynouspainter26]

Inanna,

You cannot start taking full HRT (E or T) at twelve-it will cause your body to mature too quickly, stunt your growth, and cause a host of other issues.  I'm not an endocrinologist, but my understanding is that twelve is normally when they start giving blockers, and sixteen is when either E or T is added.  After that, I suppose you could wait even longer if you were still taking blockers, though I don't see why anyone would.  As for results-have you seen the pictures of what these kids look like?  It's actually very difficult for me to look at them, because I see something I could have been, instead of the freakish creature my body forced me to become.  Normally, the results these kids get are completely indistinguishable from their cis peers.

[aleon515]

I don't agree with the idea that social transition is almost as permanent as physical transition. Maybe for adults it would be very hard. I went thru periods in my life where I was called a different name and went back. I believe that if children feel that their parents understand and accept them they can handle things more easily. I met a parent in Philly and his mom openly said that he could go back if he wanted but right now it doesn't seem to be going on and he is on blockers. There was an ease talking about his gender that I just don't think exists in typical families.

Most trans people have acceptance issues very early on, so perhaps being able to express their real gender will help that and not hurt it. Actually some of the trans kids I met were much MORE sociable and adept than their peers (as well as popular). I think that the blockers are really a life saving thing.

I don't know if being on blockers for longer periods shortens the actual puberty or just delays it.



--Jay

[KimSails]

I fully support social transition for any child that wants it and who has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by a therapist experienced with trans people. I support beginning HRT at the earliest *medically* appropriate time if the child's gender identity doesn't waver. I support blockers if the child is unsure of transition and wants them.  I would not wait for some artibitrary age for any of these things.

I think western society is *beginning* to seriously change with regard to trans acceptance. In 30 years I expect that trans acceptance will be where LGB acceptance is today -- which is a far cry from where it was 30 years ago!  There will *always* be people who think that transgender isn't real or can be "cured", but then, there are still idiots that judge people by their race.

There are a lot of thoughtful responses in this thread. But most seem to think that trans kids will face the same societal discrimination that the poster did in the past. Perhaps I am being naive, but I think (and hope) it will be different.

Kim :-)

[Aina]

If someone asked me when I was 5/6 do you want to be a girl, I don't honestly know what I would have said. I was more interested in playing and hanging out with friends, then the state my body was in. Course I was still wishing nearly every night to wake up as a girl buuut...

Personally as long as blockers don't harm anyone I don't see why not to use them so they have time to think. It is a very personal and very deep choice to make. HRT should really only be available when your older due to the risk involved.

If I could go back in time i'd pick around high school or late middle school would be my ideal time to transition - since my dysphoria really started up then, however I didn't know what I know "now".

I have still yet to come out and I've "only really known" that I am transgender for about a year.

Its a tough topic, yet I still stand by not allowing kids to go on HRT - but fully support blockers as long as their is no harm.

If I was only born in the 90's-2000's blah hehe.

[Cassandra Hyacinth]

My opinion on this matter is that far too many people use transgender children as rhetorical devices to support their own viewpoint, whatever that might be.

Transphobes insist that swathes of children are being forced into transition solely for being gender non-conforming, and that it's tantamount to 'curing' homosexuality. They never stop to consider that doctors pretty much never make that diagnosis solely based on having gender-atypical hobbies (there has to actually be some level of dysphoria there too), and that not giving these children treatment is, in fact, endangering their lives.

I'm also slightly weary of other trans folks who point to the experiences of trans children and insist that they're universal i.e. trans people always know they're trans from a super young age, never mind that loads of people scarcely know what 'transgender' means until their teenage years.

If someone needs treatment, they damn well need it, regardless of their age.

[dalebert]

Some folks are freaking out about that trans boy who's only 5 or 6. It was a big story recently and there's a thread somewhere around here about it. I don't get that at all. The kid is still many years from puberty. All they've done is let the kid be himself, e.g. get a short hair cut, wear boy's clothes, use male pronouns, etc. None of it is irreversible. And by the time he's close to puberty, he will have had plenty of time to mull this over with the help of therapists and such before considering blockers. There's just nothing to freak out about.

[Serenahikaru]

I think around puberty is a fair age to start, as long as they know the risk. Prior to then, they could of pretended they were the gender they identify with. I liked wearing my sister's clothes since I was like 5, but I've only known what a transsexual is since January.

[Myarkstir]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/30/whittington-family-ryland-transgender-son_n_5414718.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Food for thought on the subject.

When the first thing you say is I am not a girl I am a boy... 

[Myarkstir]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/30/whittington-family-ryland-transgender-son_n_5414718.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

Food for thought on the subject.

When the first thing you say is I am not a girl I am a boy... 

Knowing the word doesn't change your thoughts, it only gives them structure and direction. I hasve known thast sdomething was wrong from the moment i reasluzed thast there was something i didn't like in between my legs. But at the age of 8 i saw a news report about a ftm on tv (thast was 41 years ago) and iv sdtill remember it like it was yesterday. It put a word to what i was feeling and that day my decision was made. It took me 38 years approx to complete it but i did. (Or will nov 24 lol).



My dad was very homophobe, so at the nice age of 8 i learned that if i told the truth i would loose my family. I carry that pain till this day. Everything i feared happened. Had my parents listened to the clues, my life would have been much happier.

[AnneB]

Some folks are freaking out about that trans boy who's only 5 or 6. It was a big story recently and there's a thread somewhere around here about it. I don't get that at all. The kid is still many years from puberty. All they've done is let the kid be himself, e.g. get a short hair cut, wear boy's clothes, use male pronouns, etc. None of it is irreversible. And by the time he's close to puberty, he will have had plenty of time to mull this over with the help of therapists and such before considering blockers. There's just nothing to freak out about.

^^ this!!

[aleon515]

Some folks are freaking out about that trans boy who's only 5 or 6. It was a big story recently and there's a thread somewhere around here about it. I don't get that at all. The kid is still many years from puberty. All they've done is let the kid be himself, e.g. get a short hair cut, wear boy's clothes, use male pronouns, etc. None of it is irreversible. And by the time he's close to puberty, he will have had plenty of time to mull this over with the help of therapists and such before considering blockers. There's just nothing to freak out about.

Yes, the viral video, which I am guessing actually had many more positives than negatives (I don't actually think the negatives would drive this-- though the haters still made their voices known). But most of the negative stuff didn't actually look like they watched the video. But was not in the video was a LOT of info on how he felt as I don't think this fits nicely in a video on youtube (or for an organization, where it first appeared). The other thing, the parents did NOT know this was going to go viral. A lot of people think this was a very public event. They spoke at a very small LGBT event in their hometown, where they were recognized-- perhaps for being active in their own community. I think they'd probably have been surprised.

The interesting thing is how little they actually did, and what a huge difference this is going to make in this kid's life. There was a young guy here (not 6!!) who came out at a very early age. His parents accepted him immediately, and he was like "I'm very happy don't know what all the problem is". He might have come on the list to find out about packers, top surgery, etc. I think these kids have the possibility of as normal a life as possible.

--Jay

[Xenguy]

I'm an early transitioner, it is much more preferable to stop the unwanted changes from happening in the first place than to have to go through expensive surgery when you're older. And surgery doesn't fix some things that already happen with puberty ((Wide hips in ftms, wide shoulders in mtfs, ect)).

What causes the controversy over trans* children is that people think that they are going to start on hormones at ages 6! That's not true, hormone blockers are a trans* child's best friend, because it stops puberty in it's tracks until they reach a suitable age, usually anywhere from 13-16 as these are the times a normal child's puberty begins to set in. Once they reach an age where the endo feels comfortable knowing it's not going to cause any damage, they'll start on hormones. Even if a child has already began puberty without hormone blockers, starting hrt at a younger age, can still prevent further unwanted changes from happening, and can cause proper bone growth for their preferred gender ((ie. growth spurt in ftms))

Also, blockers allow time for younger trans* children to make a decision, until then, let them live as the gender they want. A child usually starts forming a gender identity around ages 3-5. So it shouldn't be that far-fetched that there are kids this young that are trans.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

A child usually starts forming a gender identity around ages 3-5. So it shouldn't be that far-fetched that there are kids this young that are trans.

That's how it was for me. I remember my first memory was at age 3. It was my aunt asking about my upcoming birthday and how old I was going to be. I said six. That should have been my first clue that I would always suck at Math. My second memory was being 4 and by that point, I realized that something was wrong as far as my gender was concerned. It wasn't anything super specific at first. It was just a general "vibe" that things weren't right. As time went on, it became more and more obvious.

[Carrie Liz]

The current WPATH standards of care basically cite studies which said that of gender-nonconforming children admitted to therapy, only about 10%-25% had their transgender identity persist into adulthood. A higher percentage were likely to eventually identify as gay. Once they reached early puberty, though, 70 out of 70 who took puberty-blocking hormones had their transgender identity persist into adulthood. So once early adolescence is reached, and body aversion is there, it's not going away, you're trans, and any delay in therapy will just make it worse.

This same section does say, however, that those with the strongest gender-nonconforming feelings as children, those who play completely with the toys of the opposite sex, demand that they are a member of the opposite sex, and show early signs of body aversion, are more likely to have their trans identity persist.

So I can definitely approve of childhood gender transition if they do indeed show very strong signs that they really do mentally have a cross-sex gender identity, to the point that it causes them emotional distress. But until new scientific evidence proves otherwise, I don't think we can necessarily claim that all kids who think they might be the opposite sex are trans. Kids don't really understand gender. I know I didn't as a kid. I still thought that anyone who had long hair was a girl, and anyone who played with girls' toys was a girl and anyone who wore girls' clothes was a girl. I used to think that I could change into one if I did these things. So I don't think that a lot of kids can tell the difference. They can't quite mentally separate physical sex from gender expression yet.

Once these kids reach about 11-12 years old, though, and show clear signs of body aversion, which is a pretty definitive sign that their brains are hardwired to be the opposite sex, it needs to be spotted and treated as soon as humanely possible.

I had no idea I was trans as a kid. I didn't have that much gender-nonconforming behavior, at least nothing that would have gotten me noticed. But once my trans identity and body aversion started developing around age 12-13, it hasn't changed since. And it only got worse and worse as my body masculinized more and more.

(And yes, that video that someone posted about trans youth does make me VERY dysphoric. Especially the part with the twins, because you actually get to see how much of a difference blocking the male puberty makes. It's like "here's what you actually did go through, which now you can never undo, you hideous unlucky unfixably-masculine person, and here's the beautiful completely-female person that you could have been if you'd paid more attention to your jealousy of girls and hatred of your masculinizing body at that age." Urgh... )