I am 19 months, and life is both erotic and erratic as far as nerves go. Orgasm takes about three things though
First, just being in the mood!! If I am stressed, that is a sure killer for the fun. If I take time and do things to pamper myself, which can mean sexy PJ's or Night gowns, and a nice relaxing bubble bath, and maybe a bit of porn or beefcake to look at, then I improve my chances. If its just dinner at home, there is nothing wrong with wearing a formal dress and maybe one of my pre-styled wigs.
Second is attention to my whole body. I do not Orgasm only from my crotch, a couple of little vibrating eggs in my bra, or someone fondling my breasts gently is wonderful, vibrating pillow or massage stuff as well at any number of points all over your body.
The last item is realistic expectations, and a decision to judge each session of Eros all by its own, whether it is with a partner or by yourself. We cannot realistically expect a quasi-male "O" every time, or a total toe curler Every time. We are exploring life each time and if we expect to get something NEW each time, we will, and it will be fantastic. Be happy with what happens, and the happy times will start coming closer and closer together.