Came out to best friends

[Nikki_Taz]

I came out to my best friends recently, they are supportive, but they don't believe me or understand since I am primarily still attracted to women.  They say things like "you have a guy body, just use it"  and "you are thinking too much, you don't want this".  I tried to explain to them that its my brain, and the way I think and want to act. 

Now my friend wants to get me a brain scan to prove me wrong, but I told him im pretty confident in this, I have known my whole life. 

Any thoughts?

[Ms Grace]

Sexuality is who you go to bed with, gender is who you go to bed as.
There is nothing, nowhere in the history of anything that says, just because you are a trans woman, that you can't still be attracted to women. Tell your friend to go get his own brain scanned.

[Nikki_Taz]

They are stubborn, they asked me "what if your brain scan said you had a boy brain" and I couldn't answer because I know its not true >_>

[Sheala]

1. A brain scan will show or prove little to nothing.
2. give them some time, This tends to be a shock to for a lot of people.
3..... as Ms Grace said

Sexuality is who you go to bed with, gender is who you go to bed as.
There is nothing, nowhere in the history of anything that says, just because you are a trans woman, that you can't still be attracted to women. Tell your friend to go get his own brain scanned.

I am a very happily married trans-lesbian.....     

[Sheala]

They are stubborn, they asked me "what if your brain scan said you had a boy brain" and I couldn't answer because I know its not true >_>

Thats crazy, men and women have the same brain..... and for that matter every ones brain is shaped slightly diforent....

[Ms Grace]

Stubborn or not, he just has to get over it.

[Nikki_Taz]

Thanks for the responses, im sure in time they will adjust.

[Sheala]

talking to them about your feelings and what you have gone through helps. but for those that are really closed minded there isnt much but time and persuing what you need that will help.

[rosinstraya]

I came out to my best friends recently, they are supportive, but they don't believe me or understand since I am primarily still attracted to women.  They say things like "you have a guy body, just use it"  and "you are thinking too much, you don't want this".  I tried to explain to them that its my brain, and the way I think and want to act. 

Now my friend wants to get me a brain scan to prove me wrong, but I told him im pretty confident in this, I have known my whole life. 

Any thoughts?

I think it's shock and the uncomfortableness of having to mentally reconfigure their picture of you. If they are good friends, they will eventually get it I think.

[crowcrow223]

Sexuality is who you go to bed with, gender is who you go to bed as.

With all due respect, I have to disagree. Even who you go to bed as doesn't always define you... Chris Crocker mentioned in one of his videos that he identifies as a woman, that dating him is like dating a woman etc., however, when it comes to sex, he sees and wants to see a man (i.e. himself as a man). He struggles to decide whether to transition or not because of his sexual preferences and family.

[EmmaD]

When I told my boss last week, I said I was very stressed about it and he said it wasn't surprising since that moment was one of those points that was the result of many years reflection and hopes.  It is, I think, reasonably rare for someone not trans to appreciate the process that gets us to the disclosure point.   My boss told me this was all about me, not him.  Perhaps more people need to understand that.

[JayDawg]

I didn't come out to anyone until I'd seen my therapist and had the GD diagnosis. When I came out to friends, part of the wording was, "I'm seeing a therapist to help guide me through this, and help me manage my outward transition to match who I am inside." When I came out at work last week, I let everyone know I had been in therapy since March, was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, and that my therapist had been very helpful.

I think that really helped to establish that I was serious, I had a professional diagnosis, and  that treatment is ongoing.

Also, you might try to educate your friends on the difference between gender and sexual preference. I share this video when people don't get it:

-Jay

[Nikki_Taz]

I didn't come out to anyone until I'd seen my therapist and had the GD diagnosis. When I came out to friends, part of the wording was, "I'm seeing a therapist to help guide me through this, and help me manage my outward transition to match who I am inside." When I came out at work last week, I let everyone know I had been in therapy since March, was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria, and that my therapist had been very helpful.

I think that really helped to establish that I was serious, I had a professional diagnosis, and  that treatment is ongoing.

Also, you might try to educate your friends on the difference between gender and sexual preference. I share this video when people don't get it:

-Jay

Kewl, Yes I told them like this.  "I have been seeing a professional to help me through my issues, I have GID, I have felt this way my entire life" 

I am liking this now because we are having long talks about everything and I have had no one to actually talk to about this, and now I have friends who are cool with it and support me.  They have tried to rationalize every problem I mentioned in my life, but it all comes down to my individual experience as wearing this "costume" my entire life. 

I told them I am taking it slow because its safer this way and I am continuing to see my therapist not only for transition help but for life coaching.