Hello to a good group here. Without telling an entire life's story, here are some introduction points. I first noticed my feminine side when at a summer camp for boys, at a camp play at age 12, one female role was required. So they chose me, and I didn't object...it felt kind of nice to be dressed up in full makeup and dress etc. Lots of snickers and laughs, but I was okay with it. Age 14 and age 15 I sneakily sometimes tried on my aunt's bras when I visited her house. At a boarding school age 16 I had about 4 or 5 occasions in bed with a male classmate, although he seemed to enjoy it more strongly than I did, but it was okay. Age 19 I got the nerve to go into a dept. store and buy some bras, and tried them on in private...I kept them about 6 months, then threw the bras away. I mostly hid my feminine side from age 20 to age 53. Concentrated on work and studies mostly. Age about 47 I moved to Latin America, gradually learned excellent Spanish, married a Latin girl...we separated after a year and a half mostly disagreements about money, but I now have a beautiful blonde daughter age 6 who I have raised in my house 2 or 3 days a week for 5 years...her mother raises her on the other days. I have trained my daughter to be a fluent native speaker of English even though we live in Latin America. And she is fluent in Spanish, too. I am a teacher and businessperson; I have an MBA. I have been occasionally going out in public in push-up bras now since last year. For about 4 months I have had my toenails painted bright red most of the time. At the pool I wear diver's boots to hide them, but I have gone to the beach a few times now with my toenails painted bright red very openly, and my fingernails painted purple/pink. Mostly in public I am still in male mode, but sometimes I put on just a tad of blush and eyeshadow before going out as a male. At home I frequently wear a dress and bra and nighty. I haven't worn male underwear in more than 5 months as I only wear female underwear now. In the Latin country I live in, one can obtain strong pharmaceuticals totally openly without necessarily needing a prescription. They are the real deal, from reputable large international companies and domestic companies from where I live. I note that the rules here say I cannot list doseages, so I will respect those rules. I do NOT yet want to take anti-androgens...I want to try this with a strong estrogen and micronized progesterone and see if I continue to get the results I am seeking. So far, after 3 weeks of once a day (at bedtime) of these hormones...my nipples started staying constantly "at attention" after just 3 DAYS which was kind of amazing. My nipples now, after 3 weeks, poke out from my shirt if I hold my shirt tightly against my chest. I think I am rounder in my chest area now, just a bit. I know this isn't supposed to happen in 1 day, but I am happy with the results so far. Emotionally I feel TRANQUILITY. This is the biggest change I notice in how I feel. I feel a certain calm...that even with some occasional tough situations to deal with at work, or with my ex- about the raising of our daughter, and so on, I feel a certain CALM that I didn't have a month ago. The progesterone seems to make me a little sleepy, so I only take it at bedtime. My current girlfriend is quite supportive in what I am doing. My male "functionality" is significantly less compared with a month ago, but, hey, no complaints...it is still available but not very strong is what I find, and the incessant male "need", below, is much less intense compared with 3 weeks ago. I am not hiding anything about it from her. There are plenty of ways to super-satisfy a genetic female that don't involve the 'traditional" way of doing intimate things. Her pleasure is much more important than mine, in any case, and this I feel SUPER strongly. I think she likes how calm these hormones are making me, and that I can appreciate a female's feelings much better now. I find myself more sttracted to males now, but I haven't acted on this in the real world yet. I feel like a mixture of a very feminine male, or a "developing" girl...including when I am talking with my current genetic girlfriend. She is a 32B, and I hope that someday I might reach this, too (although because of my chest size, it would be 38B for me). But 38A will be fine, too, and 38A would allow me more easily for work to be a male when I want to, or need to. My 6 year old daughter knows about the woman's underwear and the painted toenails, but not about the bras or dresses. My girlfriend knows about all of these things as I feel honesty is the best way to go. I don't know if I will decide to continue these hormones "forever" but I think a minimum of 3 months of taking them should continue to produce results that I like about how I feel emotionally and developing breasts. At this time, I DEFINITELY and strongly want to continue to take the hormones. What a great community to share with! Johanna/John
