How do you feel about being trans?

[Adam (birkin)]

I wonder about this.

I have this feeling too - how wonderful it would be actually to be cisgender, have complete body, the full female experience, etc.

But, really, I don't know any cisgender people who are euphoric about their gender.

In fact, the ONLY people I know who are ever euphoric with respect to their gender are trans people.

Something to think about...

I think this is a good point. To me, this is the privilege of being cis, that you don't have to think about your gender very often. You can just get on with life and feel like "meh" about it lol.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I hate it.  I would have rather not been born.

I felt that way at one time and thought about suicide/death on a daily basis. After a few years I decided that it wasn't the best idea and I should do my best to do what I could to correct the problem.

[janetcgtv]

Birkin & Suzi

You are right as I would be euphoric because I'll be coming from being trans. and if i would have been born a cisgendered female I would be doing the daily routine of being born female. And my days would be of a typical mother doing what she loves doing. When young I prayed to wake  up girl and NO memory of ever been born male.

[janetcgtv]

King Malachite:
Don't give up. Even from my experience with cis gendered people, the have their good days and their bad days. Remember death is a permanent solution for a temporary problem(that may last a long time but eventually get solved).
You can also end of in worse shape if you attempt it. I read in the paper about a man who jumped 94 floors in an elevator shaft. He ended up a quadriplegic and he could not even move his hand to get a fly off his face.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

[King Malachite]

Thanks yall, but I should clarify some.  If I had the option to choose between being cis with a happy life or not existing, then I would choose not to exist.  It just sucks to exist AND be trans.

[janetcgtv]

King Malachite:

Please  clarify something for me.

I gather that if you were born a cis female you would not wish to be a cis female

Do you wish you were a cis male?

OR that you would have nothing to be any kind of cis but want to be trans

Me although born male I would have preferred being born a cis female.

[King Malachite]

King Malachite:

Please  clarify something for me.

I gather that if you were born a cis female you would not wish to be a cis female

Do you wish you were a cis male?

OR that you would have nothing to be any kind of cis but want to be trans

Me although born male I would have preferred being born a cis female.

I would prefer to be a cis male.

[Beth Andrea]

Much of the initial euphoria, the glee, has passed...now it's a steady sense of contentment until I untuck, then moderate dysphoria.

[Umiko]

lately i've been feeling really confused and on some days emotional traumatized 

[Maleth]

How do you feel about being trans?

Usually depressed/angry/scared but I can also be excited (to pursue my transition) and happy, but then there are times where I'm just apathetic to it.

[jamboe89]

This is a really interesting topic. And I think I've gleaned something from all of your answers, particularly Donna E, Ryan55, Hikari at the moment. It's good to read all of your answers and I can hugely relate to some of your feelings.

I think if I were born female, or vice versa in the case of FTMs (someone's said already), just how much could've been bypassed? i.e. no worries about having to take hormones, no guilt, no need for any money for this purpose, we would just be that gender and that would be that. In that way I feel a little indignant at nature. But obviously we just have to make the most of our circumstances.

I do feel proud in that I'm finally getting to grips with this issue finally, and being able to relate to so many of you, but I also do feel afraid at times particularly what others might think (not that this should deter one from transitioning), my father is in the know but I still haven't told my mother yet (not sure when to do this yet, I see her very rarely). I don't think she will surprised, and I'm pretty sure she will be supportive, but there's still that nagging doubt.

So, I ticked: Depressed, Proud, Scared, Excited, Comfortable...(at various times). Right now I'd say I'm comfortable. 

[EllieM]

I still struggle with it. Things would have been a lot easier if I had been born a girl. It's not so much that I feel uncomfortable being trans, what I feel awkward about is the reaction of people around me. When I finally broke free of the denial, accepting who I am became liberating. Certainly, getting my hormones sorted out was a big plus, but I regret not starting when I was younger (and had great hair!). Do I wish that I was a "normal" cis-gendered person? Well, yes, but that person would have to be female

[stephaniec]

For me , I've been dealing with this since childhood , so it's really just another day

[PurpleCrown]

I've never had like an angry "why me?!" moment or something like that. I'm fine most of the time, but I guess disappointed is the best word to describe how I feel about it. 

[Just Shelly]

As far as being trans....I don't like it, that's why I am stealth as much as I can be!!

As far as being cis.....as far as everyone knows that is what I am....and I also feel cis most times. The times I realize I am not, are the times I'm with the people who know I am trans. Its not something I can avoid, unless I run away from my children. But, once they are grown up....I'm out of here!!!

[littleredrobinhood]

I chose "Scared", because even though some of the other options fit, too, I think I feel fear the strongest out of the others. Fear of not being accepted is a big part of the reason I'm still in the closet.

[Athena]

First of all I feel frustrated, I am not in a place where I can transition. I am hoping that sooner or later I'll be able to change that but being trans and having to wait until things happen is driving me crazy.

As for being trans, I honestly don't think I'd want to be  otherwise right now. I am very much a person of association and I associate being cis male with hating myself thinking that I was a disgusting freak. Also now when I look at a woman and think her skirt is really nice or wow she has fantastic shoes, I now know why.

When it comes to telling my friends and family it scares me not so much that I'll lose them but that I will disappoint them. The only family member that I ever talk to anymore is my mother, the rest are just not a part of my life (not even my father). I don't know if it is a good thing or bad but I can loose people from my life (not dying though) and just shrug it off for the most part. My concern is people that are part of my life now.  Really I have 2 people that I am concerned with about telling, my mother and my one friend who is a bit of a lynchpin to my other friends. Honestly if they choose not to be apart of my life then I will move on without much thought.

Warning this part may have some triggers for some!!!


The biggest concern and I know that some here will be mad at me for this but I want to be super stealth. As much as I would gladly walk into srs surgery tomorrow I won't be able to bring myself to start my rle until I have trouble passing as a male. I really don't know how the girls from England deal with the nhs, I applaud your strength, I don't know if I could start rle before being accepted for hrt. I just don't think I would be strong enough. 

sorry for the ramblings but my feelings on being trans are complicated to say the least.

[iiMTF]

For me, it's interesting but stressful. I never know what I'm going to do next... And sometimes my thoughts are scary.

But I'm pre-transition ATM, so I can't really say much about it. Today's my fifteenth day knowing I'm transsexual.. And I haven't even scheduled a gender therapy appt. I've been trying to participate in a lot of the little fun brighten your day threads, just to (obviously) brighten my day.

But definitely, if being trans is one thing, it's interesting. Never have I been "bored" on this site.. Always something to do, from trying to help others, trying to receive help yourself, being happy and energetic one day then depressed the next.

I am not comfortable with my current progress nor my moms reaction to me coming out to her, but eventually... Eventually, I am confident I can get comfortable. It won't be today, and it won't be tomorrow, but one day looooong in the future, it'll happen.

~A

[Rachelicious]

Boxes I ticked? Scared, Angry, Depressed. In other words, SAD.

But the fact is...

I no longer even consider myself transgender. I'm cis-sex female now. To me, transgender is this word that reminds me of a bunch of things I no longer or should no longer have to deal with (event horizon? Yeson in ~3mo.) and really has no relation to me.

I'm happy to discuss the few topics here that interest me but am here largely based on lingering, fringe matters that generally don't concern identity support etc. because it's good to leave some breadcrumbs on the path for other birds if you happen to have some grasped with your talons.

But I do so anonymously, as post-transition identity is very worth keeping in stealth if you can IMO.

[Jen72]

Well the one option that should be in there really is confused but that being said here goes this rest of the options. 

Happy to figure out what is different about self yet depressed at the fear of change and if I can really do this. 

Proud I have finally discovered oneself yet slightly angry at self for not figuring those out much earlier in life. Excited to try a different path yet anxious how it will turn out with acceptance etc.

Scared of the if I can do this and the changes as the path continues yet getting more comfortable with idea of who I really am.

Next step really for me is to try HRT to tell me how this will go for sure but must wait a long time for that to come to resolution.