How do you feel about being trans?

[SeptagonScars]

Angry, scared and other. By "other" I mean sad (but not depressed), confused, worried, frustrated, etc. I've never felt anything positive about being trans. Lately I've been feeling less negatively about it and more content with how things are now, but I still see being transsexual as somewhat of a curse. I'm not happy about it, but try to do the best I can. I can handle it, even see it has some benefits to it, but so does my chronic tension headache but I'm not feeling happy about that one either. It's something I've learned to live with for better or worse.

[MaryT]

Scared.  That seems to be the mode, so I'm not alone.  I wish that I weren't so cowardly, though.

[Charlie Nicki]

Initially I was very excited and anxious about the future, wanted to go through everything pretty quickly. But after experiencing heartbreak because of this, I realized it is real, and that I can lose so many things by doing this. Yet an inner voice keeps encouraging me to keep going.

At the moment I'm mostly annoyed and sad that I am going through this. Even annoyed at the fact that I realized what it was. Right now it seems as if not knowing why I felt different and repressing the thoughts was easier. I can't do that anymore.

I'm just hoping I quickly overcome this bump on the road and finish my transition to the point where I will finally be comfortable with myself again, and maybe even proud.


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It's been so many months since I posted that. I continued transitioning and I would say that nowadays I feel scared! My time to go full time is approaching and it really frightens me that I might not be mentally ready or that I won't be able to hide under my male persona anymore.

[Doreen]

"Trans".. such a label.  So many layered meanings behind it.  Even taking that on as a mantle seems like donning the forbidden Scarlet Letter on your forehead as a tattoo, permanently marking one as 'tainted'.  At least I think that's how society as a whole views it.  The forbidden lands.. how dare you even presume to transition from one gender to another?

I think its such a terrible irony.. considering we're all born neutral, bordering on female.   The very equipment which denotes male vs female in the traditional sense has so many potential alterations, mutations, and potential complications (enter intersexed people) that we know now its a misnomer at best, a fallacy at worst. 

Sure most people are easily & readily identify as  male.. female.. but the few that dare to step beyond?  Some societies saw them as blessed... ours as cursed, hated, to be squashed underfoot & ridiculed.


So how do I see it?  Its a label I've avoided... as it never quite fit me appropriately... but yet it does.  Overwhelming sadness, that things couldn't have been different is probably the most presiding emotion.  Anger at the gods and my parents for this 'gift' that I cannot undue.  Lastly acceptance.. that I must be what I am.

[RoRo]

I voted for the other. I don't really have an emotion for it because it is who I always knew I was. I knew I was a female trapped in a males body when I was young. Sure that made me sad because I really couldn't do anything about it. Then when I turned 16 I started my transition and yeah I was happy about it, but also nervous. Now that my journey is complete I suppose you could say I am relieved, but really I am just who I am.

[Michelle_P]

I feel good about being a woman.

I feel anxious about having a non-normative appearance which unfortunately is currently a target for hatred and violence.

Transgender is just the adjective that indicates a bit of my origins.  I feel sad about the complex path I had to take to get from there to here, and the damage to myself and others from my mistakes on that path.

[Allison S]

I feel good about being a woman.

I feel anxious about having a non-normative appearance which unfortunately is currently a target for hatred and violence.

Transgender is just the adjective that indicates a bit of my origins.  I feel sad about the complex path I had to take to get from there to here, and the damage to myself and others from my mistakes on that path.

Hugs[emoji173] you are where you need to be. I know it's a hard journey to be on... I can really relate right now

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[ainsley]

"Trans".. such a label.  So many layered meanings behind it.  Even taking that on as a mantle seems like donning the forbidden Scarlet Letter on your forehead as a tattoo, permanently marking one as 'tainted'.  At least I think that's how society as a whole views it.  The forbidden lands.. how dare you even presume to transition from one gender to another?

I think its such a terrible irony.. considering we're all born neutral, bordering on female.   The very equipment which denotes male vs female in the traditional sense has so many potential alterations, mutations, and potential complications (enter intersexed people) that we know now its a misnomer at best, a fallacy at worst. 

Sure most people are easily & readily identify as  male.. female.. but the few that dare to step beyond?  Some societies saw them as blessed... ours as cursed, hated, to be squashed underfoot & ridiculed.


So how do I see it?  Its a label I've avoided... as it never quite fit me appropriately... but yet it does.  Overwhelming sadness, that things couldn't have been different is probably the most presiding emotion.  Anger at the gods and my parents for this 'gift' that I cannot undue.  Lastly acceptance.. that I must be what I am.

I feel very much the same.  Well put, Doreen.

[Christyn]

I feel all of the those things at any given time or all at the same time. Repressing myself for so long, when I finally came out, while everyone around me was devastated, my wife, obviously the most, all I could do was be relieved. Then as time went on, I was worried "should I have not come out"? Would it have been better to just have kept my mouth shut and spared everyone around me the pain - and it was and still is, to some degree, pain.
I happy to finally be me, to see the outside starting to finally match the inside and progress toward being my authentic self permanently.
I am scared sometimes, because I know, where I live, acceptance of trans people isn't high and I am scared of losing friends, when I come out all the way. I am scared that my wife, while she is coping well now and she tends to be doing better every day, will one day decide that she just can't do it, and won't come home.
I am proud because we are more and more visible everyday.
I am sad because I worry about the unknown and find myself crying at a song, or just the thought of being alone or the perceived shame I've brought to my family or that they feel because of me. I am also sad at the fear of my mother just never understanding and dead naming me forever and losing her love and acceptance.
So yeah, its safe to sat, I feel all of those things, as so many others do, and so much more.

[SarahM777]

For me it's mostly been incredibly lonely. (I lived most of my life in very conservative areas so....) I could count the number of real friends I had on one hand. Most of my family I have not heard from in years. 2 marriages that lasted less than 8 years total.  Along with quite a number of people who would talk to me for a time would get to a point they would quit calling or returning my calls to them and never said a word as to why. (The loneliness has been the worst part of this whole thing)

[Tara P]

Depressed, Scared, and Excited.  I honestly wasn't expecting those to be the top 3 when I voted...  I'm still figuring stuff out and closeted so that's a big part of it.  Just tons of doubts about how people would react and even whether I want to transition.  I already feel lonely even pretending to be a regular cis male dude though because people aren't really seeing the whole me so there is a serious lack of real connection.  Kind of like I'm not even lonely for the right reason?