do you think you can proceed with tansition and be happy while not attractive

[stephaniec]

wondering if being attractive is just too important for your decision to transition and be happy. For example , with absolutely no disrespect to the memory of the great Janis Joplin, She by some standards was not attractive. do you think attractiveness is just too big an obstacle to over come for transition

[Umiko]

i dont think being attractive is important but if i say that i'll be a hypocrite. i care about looks, maybe to the point of obsession. i want to be noticed and being ignored just makes me feel worthless. idk, blame it on a tragic past

[sad panda]

Well my main problem is people always assuming I'm trying to look sexy when I'm not, and I'm really just trying to hide my flaws. I'm tired of being a spectacle, EVERYONE I talk to comments on my appearance, which is the worst thing ever when I'm so unsure of how I really want to present and I just want to relax about it for once. But everyone treats it like today is the day I marked on my calendar to go all out and wear some particular outfit. But, obviously I haven't been happy in transition anyway so. 

[Jill F]

Hell, I'm not exactly young nor pretty, but this is infinitely better than being depressed, slowly going nuts or being six feet under.

[Carrie Liz]

People tell me that my features are "striking," that I really have pretty features that stand out.

I hate it.

I never know whether people are staring at me because they're clocking me as trans, or because they're just looking at the tall "striking" woman. I've heard both from different people, and it's kind of one giant mindf***.

I frankly wish I looked plainer. I'd rather be a boring unattractive plain-looking woman who can slip under the radar and be ignored than someone who stands out.

[TaoRaven]

Hell, I'm not exactly young nor pretty, but this is infinitely better than being depressed, slowly going nuts or being six feet under.

This.

And although I take terrible photos, I am kinda cute in person I will never be a bombshell, but as long as Mr. Right likes what he sees, and I am happy witb what I see in the mirror....well, good enough.

[Misha]

My main motivation was and still is that I'm not willing to ever return to "male role-playing" which I did before. I was fairly fine during my pre-HRT and early-HRT girl mode. The stress and anxiety was kept in check because I felt great of just acting as a woman although I didn't really look like one.

Still I think Mother Nature has an odd sense of irony. Being semi-blind I didn't really care whether I'll be pretty, beautiful and such. And what I got in slightly over two months on estrogens... I take it as a bonus that makes the whole thing so much easier. I actually expected such result would come in like a year or two.

[Jess42]

wondering if being attractive is just too important for your decision to transition and be happy. For example , with absolutely no disrespect to the memory of the great Janis Joplin, She by some standards was not attractive. do you think attractiveness is just too big an obstacle to over come for transition

Don't let your ideas of attractiveness decide on what you do. I see plenty of unattractive people all the time, and Janis Joplin, her attitude, friendliness and smile not to mention her voice cancelled out the looks portion. Looks aren't near as important to some if not most people as personality.

[Jill F]

Don't let your ideas of attractiveness decide on what you do. I see plenty of unattractive people all the time, and Janis Joplin, her attitude, friendliness and smile not to mention her voice cancelled out the looks portion. Looks aren't near as important to some if not most people as personality.

So true.  Looks may fade, but a winning personality is forever.

[Jess42]

So true.  Looks may fade, but a winning personality is forever.

When Stepahnie mentioned Janis Joplin it just brought back a memeory of watching her in an interview on youtube and seemed like on of the most genuine fun loving people always quick to smile and laugh which really added so much more than if she was an inarticulated classic beauty of the time.

[stephaniec]

When Stepahnie mentioned Janis Joplin it just brought back a memeory of watching her in an interview on youtube and seemed like on of the most genuine fun loving people always quick to smile and laugh which really added so much more than if she was an inarticulated classic beauty of the time.

talk about beauty just listen to Janis sing ball and chain at the Monterey pop music festival on youtube

[Miyuki]

Being attractive is only a small piece of the puzzle for me. I am only concerned about being attractive insofar as it might affect my ability to have a meaningful romantic relationship with another human being at some unspecified point in the future. Beyond that, I just want to be passable for the sake of blending in and not feel conspicuous everywhere I go. 

[galaxy]

Attractivity is not the main goal, but for me a important thing in transition. Beeing attractive brings new quality in living. I'm really a victim of fashion, shoes and such things. That are all things i couldnt be live as a male and i love these things. Ive so much other hobbies, but i love it. Thats part of my life and thats "me". Ive to hide it 20 years!!

But all these makes no sense if you arent attractive. So much women in the world spend a lot of money to be attractive. For women attractivity is a important part. I dont want to speak for all, but for some (and me) its an important thing. For (aged) transgender "(un)attractivity" is often a especially hard hit.

On the other hand the nature has it reason for this behavior - women wants to get a man - thats our nature and men wants attractive women. I think our hightech-society with all its social possibilties and covers up these human foundations.

[Emily1996]

No I won'tbe happy if I can't look like Sofia Vergara u_u AHAHAHHA jk (but it would be so cool to be her)

but seriously I didn't even start HRT and as right now I'll be happy just to start asap LOL

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I know that I am ugly, I dress like a frump and I don't bother with make-up.

I'm fine with that.

[Jill F]

I know plenty of cisgirls who range from conventionally pretty to drop-dead gorgeous who do not exactly enjoy the extra attention they get from creepy guys.   Apparently it gets really old really fast, and they have to go into "raging b*tch" mode much more often than they'd prefer to.

Be careful what you wish for, ladies.  You just might get it.

[Chic]

I'm a teenager and I'm self-centered and shallow and I want to be absolutely gorgeous and stunning. I'd transition even if I didn't look extremely gorgeous, but part of what makes the idea of transitioning so alluring is the fact that it would be that much more impressive and fulfilling to be beautiful afterwards. I'd like to re-assure transwomen my age that beauty can be found in transitioning.

Also, beauty has always given me power. When I settle down with a husband, I'll find value in other things such as family rather than my appearance. Of course, I'll always try to look as good as I possibly can, but eventually it may come to the point that it's not my main source of validation.

Some guys are disgusting pigs, and I get homophobic insults thrown at me now, so I can't imagine being hit on is much worse. It validates me now. I want to feed off their obsession with me.

[Hikari]

I can certainly proceed with transition, but my appearance does give me a good deal of frustration....But, I am basically a 28 year old 15 year old girl, so wouldn't it be weird if I wasn't insecure and neurotic about how I look?

My mentality is, while I might not be much to look at now, I am going to keep putting fourth effort into my appearance until I think the compliments I get aren't just to make me feel better about myself, but express genuine opinions about how I look.

[Evelyn K]

I wouldn't trade my masculinity and birth right of male privilege if I knew I wasn't going to be hitting at least a 7 on a 10 point scale.

(In fact I wouldn't trade going through laser for that matter!)

[Ryan55]

People tell me that my features are "striking," that I really have pretty features that stand out.

I hate it.

I never know whether people are staring at me because they're clocking me as trans, or because they're just looking at the tall "striking" woman. I've heard both from different people, and it's kind of one giant mindf***.

I frankly wish I looked plainer. I'd rather be a boring unattractive plain-looking woman who can slip under the radar and be ignored than someone who stands out.

I agree with not knowing if people are looking at me cause I look good or cause they are tryin to figure out if I'm a guy or girl and clocking me. I get all weird when I find people looking at me for that reason, cause I start thinking, oo ->-bleeped-<- they know I was born female