do you think you can proceed with tansition and be happy while not attractive

[stephaniec]

I agree with not knowing if people are looking at me cause I look good or cause they are tryin to figure out if I'm a guy or girl and clocking me. I get all weird when I find people looking at me for that reason, cause I start thinking, oo ->-bleeped-<- they know I was born female

It's definitely a bummer to have one of those I think they know melt downs in a crowded place.

[antonia]

It's an interesting question, before I started my transition I could not care less about my look and I thought about my body more as something to walk my brain from one place to the next, as a consequence I didn't take very good care of myself. I think this was partially due to not really caring that much if I lived or died, not really suicidal since my teenage years but never afraid of taking risks.

After I started my transition I started taking pride in my body and taking care of it, when I came out to some of my gay friends as trans they somehow felt like they could share what they thought I looked like before and how they were sad since they thought I was good looking, I wasn't exactly sure what to say to that and since then I've had gay men try to persuade me that I'd be a much better looking boy, still not sure how to respond to those comments but what I do know is that I don't really care what I looked like before.

Today I like to look pretty and go out on the weekends, for work I dress more plainly and wear way less make-up both because I can't be bothered with the full routine and because it's a professional setting.

I realize the following might sound a bit shallow but I'm being as honest as I can with myself and others. I don't think being pretty is required for me but I like to present myself as well as I can and I like it when other people find me attractive.

If presented with the choice of transitioning without any hope of passing or having a look that would get me clocked most of the time I'm not sure what I would do, on the one hand It's not like I was happy with my life so almost anything would be an improvement but on the other hand the potential pain to family/friends combined with the difficulties we face in every day life would have at left me contemplating. 

To sum up I want to be pretty and I'll do what I can to make it happen, this means it's important to me but I can definitely live without it like I did for 34 years.

[Esther79]

Been putting off transition since my early 20s as i felt unpassable due to my height, weight, facial features etc.

Been on low dose HRT and electrolysis for 1.5 yrs now, slowly waiting for more improvement while contemplating full transition. Slowly dipping my toes into waters rather taking a plunge.

[V M]

LOL... I think I'm going to be a Victoria's Secret Model... NOT!!! 

I've never considered myself to be attractive so it's not really an issue to me, I just wan't to feel comfortable in my own skin

[Emily1996]

I'm a teenager and I'm self-centered and shallow and I want to be absolutely gorgeous and stunning. I'd transition even if I didn't look extremely gorgeous, but part of what makes the idea of transitioning so alluring is the fact that it would be that much more impressive and fulfilling to be beautiful afterwards. I'd like to re-assure transwomen my age that beauty can be found in transitioning.

Also, beauty has always given me power. When I settle down with a husband, I'll find value in other things such as family rather than my appearance. Of course, I'll always try to look as good as I possibly can, but eventually it may come to the point that it's not my main source of validation.

Some guys are disgusting pigs, and I get homophobic insults thrown at me now, so I can't imagine being hit on is much worse. It validates me now. I want to feed off their obsession with me.

I second this and I kind feel the same, beside the fact that I don't like guys :3

[xponentialshift]

Growing up as male I never considered myself attractive (but honestly I have no idea if I actually was or not) I assumed I was somewhere below a 5 on the 10 point scale and I didn't think farther than that.
When I decided to transition I figured I might actually have a decent chance of being attractive as a female, but that isn't why I chose to transition.
As I've never considered myself attractive it really doesn't matter how I turn out as long as I am healthy (not anorexic, obese, etc)
I feel like being attractive would be a big plus for me, at least because it would make life as a female so much different than the life I lead before.

[kitty]

Attractiveness is really my main goal, as shallow as it may seem
I just want to achieve the look I've desired my whole life

[Janae]

Hmmmm

I'll say this, If I didn't look the way I did pre transition I might have thought twice before I proceeded. It's kinda like testing a theory. I think being attractive helps that's just a fact cis or trans. I can say being attractive & passable factored a LOT in my decision. And even after that I still wasn't sure I could do it, but it helped so thanks Mom & Granny for the looks!!!

I just couldn't handle being mis gendered in addition to or because of being unattractive after all that hard work. I just don't see the point in setting yourself up.

Having said that, Not being conventionally attractive doesn't mean you can't pass or be happy. There are all kinds of women who aren't much to look at physically, but at the and of the day they are still women. I think it's important to weigh the pros and cons before transitioning no matter the level of physical beauty, Then find your medium so you can be happy.

[Cindy]

I never let it faze me. I'm gorgeous compared to 'he who pretended to be me'.
And having an ego the size of the Universe helps as well

[LadyValkyrie]

Well looks are very important to me and I think I would not have started transition if I was taller or more manly looking.. No offence to the people that are..
I was attractive as a gay guy.. at least thats what Ive been told.. Nowdays I really want to just blend in and be normal girl but everywhere I go people always comment about my hair, eyes and tell me that Im pretty.. Then theres some who just stare.. Its all so confusing.. after all I just want to be cute and normal.. Not a spectacle..

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Audrey Hepburn

[Kira357]

I wouldn't trade my masculinity and birth right of male privilege if I knew I wasn't going to be hitting at least a 7 on a 10 point scale.

(In fact I wouldn't trade going through laser for that matter!)

This is basically how i feel too, but it sets me up for dysphoria/depression if I get clocked. I have decided to get FFS, mostly just for my own confidence.

[Joan]

I would love to be attractive!

I transition because I have to for my own mental well being. I wish I could have weighed the pros and cons from being attractive when I made the decision.  If had that that kind of latitude then continuing to be a guy is surely a much easier way to live your life, attractive or no. 

[Wednesday]

Attractiveness is really my main goal, as shallow as it may seem
I just want to achieve the look I've desired my whole life

To be fair I just think the very same. Anyway, a bad outcome wouldn't prevent me from transitioning.

[FrancisAnn]

No Marilyn Monroe here GF's. It's not easy for me & it seems I'm always trying for my entire life to look more feminine & nicer, as with my recent facelift. My face is much nicer however I'm no beauty & never will be I guess. For me all I can do it try to look & feel better. I'm attractive so maybe I should be more happy with life.

[Jess42]

talk about beauty just listen to Janis sing ball and chain at the Monterey pop music festival on youtube

Anything Janis Joplin ever sang just blows me away. She had soul. I remember the "country beauty queen" Faith Hill remake Piece of my Heart and it almost brought me to tears and not the good kind either. Janis Joplin sang it with heart and soul and Faith Hill sang it and I couldn't feel any real emotion behind it.

[AnnaCannibal]

I was told I was attractive when I looked like a guy, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be carrying over as I transition.  I'm not too beat up over it, but then again....who doesn't want to be attractive?  So that's where makeup comes in. 

[Jill F]

So maybe I should just print Angelina Jolie's face on a paper bag that I wear over my head?

[Kaylee Angelia]

What an interesting question. I spent most of my life as a male believing I was ugly. It wasn't until I took an interest in acting a few years ago and had some headshots done that I realized that I was attractive...well...beautiful actually.

Now that I'm transitioning I admit that yes I hope that I'm beautiful as a female but if someone guarenteed me that I'd be ugly I'd still transition. Just coming to the realization that I'm female has greatly improved my quality of life beyond measure and my love for myself is growing by leaps and bounds. This to me is more precious than anything else.

[nikkit72]

In my eyes, I was unattractive before transition, I am unattractive now so I guess it is something I am used to dealing with. My wife and others see me differently. Bless.  Next problem.....