Canice here.
My story so far...Having never felt like a woman trapped in man's body, I always knew since about age 4, I am a girl. I acted that way until I started school, and was made to act like a boy. But at least someday I would become a woman...until I learned the biology of it all. Seriously, as a child I thought someday for whatever reason, I would be like other girls and start my journey to being a woman.
Realizing that wasn't going to happen was horrible for me, so I started cross dressing, for relief of the mental pain. This was about age 11 I think. Eventually I read books that described the mental illness of being a "fetish transvestite", which is what I thought I was until college.
In college I discovered a book by Thomas Kando, "Sex change;: The achievement of gender identity among feminized transsexuals" I read this book in the library and started shaking as I realized the women in the book had similar life stories to my own, and then "bing" I realized I am like these women- a transsexual. Didn't make me feel any better to find out in psychology class that transsexualism (as it was called) was in the diagnostic manual as a mental disorder, so it verified to me if I told anyone, I would be labelled crazy...so into a life in hiding...
After college I went into the military, then got married, raised a daughter, led as much a "normal man" life as possible.
In 1997, I bought a computer, and soon realized that there were groups discussing- being transsexual!!! After reading a lot online, I felt it time to take some small steps.
I spend months taking herbal compounds that claimed to mimic estrogen, and found them a waste of money, so I ordered some patches online. I had started using them then stopped hormones because I worried it was messing up my health. I gained weight, was diagnosed with diabetes, and high blood pressure. With prescribed medication, these are under control. I started planning to continue moving towards transition, but stopped when I got a serious disease and needed to focus on getting healthy. I am healthy, as healthy as I can be anyway, and was wondering if I should restart my journey.
Last week I found out that my health care insurance now covers "transsexual services" which they define as necessary counselling, medication, and surgery... maybe a clue to start and this time go through with my plans?
Wow, lot about me, more than I thought I would say
Hi everyone.
