Do I Exist?

[Gina Taylor]

I was talking with my father yesterday and he told me that as a woman, I don't exist because he claims that I don't have a driver's license, birth certificate, etc. under my feminine name, so I don't exist. So I told him that when I get my name legally changed, I can change everything except for the gender on my driver's license, unless he wanted to pay for my SRS.   

[FTMDiaries]

Nice; maybe he'll stump up the cash if paperwork is that vital to him. 

Hmm... let's see... driver's licences have only been available to US citizens since 1913. If you were born in the States, your birth certificate was issued by a body that has only held that responsibility since 1946, although other bodies issued birth certificates as early as 1900.

Obviously everyone who existed before then really did exist, and they didn't need a piece of paper to prove who they were. So your dad needs to think a little harder. 

[suzifrommd]

I was talking with my father yesterday and he told me that as a woman, I don't exist because he claims that I don't have a driver's license, birth certificate, etc. under my feminine name, so I don't exist. So I told him that when I get my name legally changed, I can change everything except for the gender on my driver's license, unless he wanted to pay for my SRS.   

Let me see. Tell your beloved offspring she doesn't exist.

No, I must have skipped that page in the "good parenting" manual.

[dalebert]

Nice; maybe he'll stump up the cash if paperwork is that vital to him. 

Hmm... let's see... driver's licences have only been available to US citizens since 1913. If you were born in the States, your birth certificate was issued by a body that has only held that responsibility since 1946, although other bodies issued birth certificates as early as 1900.

Obviously everyone who existed before then really did exist, and they didn't need a piece of paper to prove who they were. So your dad needs to think a little harder. 

Careful not to dig too deep with this line of thinking. Next thing you know, you'll be an anarchist. 

[FTMDiaries]

Careful not to dig too deep with this line of thinking. Next thing you know, you'll be an anarchist. 

I misread that as 'antichrist'... and I thought yeah, I know some people who'd agree with you there!

[dalebert]

I misread that as 'antichrist'... and I thought yeah, I know some people who'd agree with you there!

Haha. Well, FWIW, my path to anarchism paralleled my path to atheism in a lot of ways. I just started questioning all the stories I was being told. It was like...

"Wait a minute. There are all these ordinary people, no different from me, except they've assigned each other fancy titles and are wearing fancy uniforms and badges and we're supposed to believe they're somehow better than us and we should do what they say and they made a bunch of rules. Some of the rules make sense but a lot of them don't make any sense at all but I'm not supposed to think for myself and use my personal judgment to differentiate because if we don't follow all the rules, chaos will erupt and there will be Hell on Earth. Hmmm... Funny how it all seems awfully convenient for certain people at the cost of other people when everyone buys into it. Oh, and btw, you don't exist unless we give you a fancy-looking piece of paper validating your existence. Oooookaaaay."

[Gina Taylor]

Nice; maybe he'll stump up the cash if paperwork is that vital to him. 

That's always been his biggest problem, and I haven't asked him for a cent during my transition. Go figure. 

Hmm... let's see... driver's licences have only been available to US citizens since 1913. If you were born in the States, your birth certificate was issued by a body that has only held that responsibility since 1946, although other bodies issued birth certificates as early as 1900.

Very interesting. I may bring this to his attention and challenge him!

Obviously everyone who existed before then really did exist, and they didn't need a piece of paper to prove who they were. So your dad needs to think a little harder. 

I second the notion!

Try not paying your bills... or taxes. :-D Better yet, borrow a thousand dollars from him, then explain... you can't pay it back because you don't actually exist... :-P   lol

Great idea. I'll throw this one at him the next time he wants some paid. I'll just remind him that I don't exist, and we'll see what he has to say about that. Tee hee hee!

Let me see. Tell your beloved offspring she doesn't exist.

No, I must have skipped that page in the "good parenting" manual.

Yeah, talk about cruelty towards your beloved offspring! 

Careful not to dig too deep with this line of thinking. Next thing you know, you'll be an anarchist. 

Thanks for the warning Dalebert, but I've been an anarchist for most of my life. I'm the rebel with a cause![/quote]

I misread that as 'antichrist'... and I thought yeah, I know some people who'd agree with you there!

Believe me, my parents have often wondered if I'm the antichrist as well.

[Jess42]

I was talking with my father yesterday and he told me that as a woman, I don't exist because he claims that I don't have a driver's license, birth certificate, etc. under my feminine name, so I don't exist. So I told him that when I get my name legally changed, I can change everything except for the gender on my driver's license, unless he wanted to pay for my SRS.   

Non existance isn't quite so bad. If you don't exist, you don't have to pay taxes. Can dissapear at a moment's notice. Do something less than legal and can't get in trouble for it because you don't exist. So see there are some perks and an upside to it.

[Gina Taylor]

Non existance isn't quite so bad. If you don't exist, you don't have to pay taxes. Can dissapear at a moment's notice. Do something less than legal and can't get in trouble for it because you don't exist. So see there are some perks and an upside to it.

Great idea there Jess42. Maybe one day I just might do that and I'll always will remind him that I don't exist as a woman so I am nothing to him.

[Jessica Merriman]

Yes Gina you exist. What needs to be non existent is worrying and obsessing all the time about others perceptions and comments to you. Just live your life as YOU see fit and stop trying to get acceptance from family and people who will never, ever accept you. Free your mind and your bootie will follow. 

[Jill F]

Yes Gina you exist. What needs to be non existent is worrying and obsessing all the time about others perceptions and comments to you. Just live your life as YOU see fit and stop trying to get acceptance from family and people who will never, ever accept you. Free your mind and your bootie will follow. 

^THIS^  When I came out, I decided that leaving all the haters in my wake was the best thing I could do for my own well-being.  Some of them happened to be family.  I didn't burn any bridges, and anyone who wants to pull their head out of their ass will be happily welcomed back into my life.  Unfortunately there are two entire counties in Ohio that I probably can't set foot in now without being run out of town by angry mobs of people with quetionable genetics wielding torches and pitchforks.  I still hold on to a glimmer of hope that someone will eventually decide that the 1950s are probably actually over by now. 

Good luck, Gina.

[VeronicaLynn]

There's a whole lot of undocumented cis-gender people right now, they somehow manage, and actually do exist. If you don't have the documents under your new gender, maybe you should do whatever they do to manage...and also not care what your father thinks...

[Jess42]

Great idea there Jess42. Maybe one day I just might do that and I'll always will remind him that I don't exist as a woman so I am nothing to him.

Take it from someone that has actually tried not to exist, not in bad way or anything like that. You do exist there is no way around it, believe me, and I really wouldn't worry what may father thinks or anyone else for that matter. One day your father is gonna' need you and then you can be the better person. You have to live your life, no one else. If you live your life to make other's happy and you are miserable, that ain't livin, that is just existing. I know 'cause I have been there and done that too.

[Eris]

I'd ask your father whether tribal people in the Amazon rainforest do not exist because they neither have nor require ID XD

[Gina Taylor]

Yes Gina you exist. What needs to be non existent is worrying and obsessing all the time about others perceptions and comments to you. Just live your life as YOU see fit and stop trying to get acceptance from family and people who will never, ever accept you. Free your mind and your bootie will follow. 

Very good advice Jessica. But at time being so close with my family, it's hard to let go of these things, but I guess there comes a time when I'm gonna have to cut the ties that bind us. Unfortunately my mother doesn't want anything to do with me being a woman and she's told me that I can no longer live in HER house if I want to continue with this. Even though my therapist has said  that I do not suffer from GID because I know who and what I am. I am a WOMAN, but she will not accept it, so it will be her loose.

^THIS^  When I came out, I decided that leaving all the haters in my wake was the best thing I could do for my own well-being.  Some of them happened to be family.  I didn't burn any bridges, and anyone who wants to pull their head out of their ass will be happily welcomed back into my life.  Unfortunately there are two entire counties in Ohio that I probably can't set foot in now without being run out of town by angry mobs of people with questionable genetics wielding torches and pitchforks.  I still hold on to a glimmer of hope that someone will eventually decide that the 1950s are probably actually over by now. 

Good luck, Gina.

I've tried not to burn any bridges either, but it's strange that regular people are more exceptive to me than my own family is. Go figure??? My librarian friend told me yesterday that I'll always be welcome, and that they'll never be prejudice towards me.