The transgender narrative

[Ephemeral]

What the title says. What are your experiences: do they fit the narrative or not? Do you find it problematic when seeking treatment or convincing yourself/others of your status as a trans person?

[PoeticHeart]

In some ways, I fit the narrative. For instance, I knew from a very early age that I should've been born a girl. At one point, I actually convinced myself I had been but that my parents didn't want a girl, so they had a few bits and pieces switched around. I was five at the time lol.

In other ways, no I don't. The main crisis I went through during puberty was the sexuality crisis. My psyche sort of buried my transness for a bit and now it is emerging.

[Blue Senpai]

Not really but I think it has something to do with how manageable my dysphoria has been since I came out and how people referring to me as she or my legal name doesn't hurt that much. Most transgender people on tumblr would probably scold me saying that I'm not transgender unless the dysphoria makes you easy to offend or something. Maybe I'm really thick-skinned due to being bullied all my childhood?

[sad panda]

Nah I never seemed to fit any trans narrative. People accepted me when I transitioned MTF probably honestly just because of my appearance. But transitioning back to boy I don't know. I've met a lot more hesitation so far with people I've told.

[Amy The Bookworm]

What is the trans narrative?

[Ms Grace]

What is the trans narrative?

"Once upon a time..."

[Amy The Bookworm]

"Once upon a time..."

LOL thanks Ms Grace Very helpful!

Seriously though ... I don't know that I've ever seen any two trans people with exactly the same situation. So ... without seeing a specific narrative, I can't answer this question.

[Ms Grace]

I think you're right, Amy. I've never subscribed to any transgender narrative that I'm aware of.

[Edge]

From what I can tell, the trans narrative is the "knew since I was toddler, am transitioning to straight, and want to go the whole nine yards." Someone correct me if I am wrong though.
I didn't figure it out until I was an adult due to being deep in denial, am attracted to guys, and although I do want to do all the stuff, I'm currently not too keen on the options of bottom surgery. (Before someone jumps down my throat for that, I would like to point that this is personal to me and I am in no way judging anyone else.)

[Annabella]

I wouldn't fit that narrative, and I think a good few might not either.

I wasn't aware of where my dysphoria was originating until after my twenties, and if I do transition I would be considered queer/lesbian, unless the hormones change the fact that I am very much unattracted to the male form, including my own.

[AnnaCannibal]

I didn't know a thing when I was a child.  All I was concerned about was playing with whomever wanted to play.  I hit puberty about 14 and I started to wonder, but life wasn't horrible.  It really wasn't until 19 that I started questioning things and not until about 23 I knew for sure.  I'm 28 now and just starting.  Its a terribly long process, and some people don't realize until they're late in their life.

I think everyone's narrative will differ somehow and the most respectful thing to realize and appreciate is there is no true trans narrative.  Nor is "going all the way" somehow the right path for everyone.  If someone can find happiness in just admitting to themselves they are trans and nothing else, then so be it.

[Myarkstir]

From what I can tell, the trans narrative is the "knew since I was toddler, am transitioning to straight, and want to go the whole nine yards." Someone correct me if I am wrong though.
I didn't figure it out until I was an adult due to being deep in denial, am attracted to guys, and although I do want to do all the stuff, I'm currently not too keen on the options of bottom surgery. (Before someone jumps down my throat for that, I would like to point that this is personal to me and I am in no way judging anyone else.)

No one here would judge you for not wanting bottom surgery. It is an extremely personal choice that must always be done for oneself and oneself alone. And frankly 5 minutes of reading about phallo scared me to death (or was that scarred lol ).

And for the main subject, i never cared about any preconceived narrative, i went my way and my way alone. And that way leads me to srs in 4 months not because of someone else. But for myself, i earned my new little genitals, and when i go through the pain and dilations it will be my experience and no one elses.

Lol screw the mold. Haven't fit in it since day 1 won't start now 

[suzifrommd]

I never felt like a female.

I never felt the slightest interest in crossdressing.

I never hated any part of my body.

I never had problems with my gender in childhood.

I had to figure out I was trans at age 50 by looking at the clues. I was always interested in music/movies/books intended for women and that had strong female characters. I was much more comfortable in female company. And I had an intense wish to live as a female and have a female body (dating back to my teen years).

I've had trouble convincing more than one gatekeeper that I'm trans because my story does not match any standard narrative.

As far as I'm concerned, the standard narrative can go %&@$ itself.

[EmmaD]

I think the trans narrative arose because it was the easiest and "safest" ( for the diagnostician) to understand and therefore became the standard.  To get what you need, you spin the facts to suit.  It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Least risk approach. Those that couldn't? Probably not a good outcome for them.

Me?  I was pretty clueless about most things for decades.  Looking back, yes there were signs but I certainly didn't know anything. I prefer to focus on me now and in the future and let the past be just that -gone.  My narrative isn't really worth a thing now.  When I was going through the diagnostic process, I probably extended the process by not being assertive about what I thought it meant.  The telling point came when I was asked where I saw myself in 5 years.  Answer? Happy woman.  Thinking about it now, it was a future question that seemed to be the critical point.

[Jill F]

That's the thing- if you've met one transperson, you've met one transperson.  We often have some things in common, but in the end we are all snowflakes.  Some of us flakier than others... 

[Amy The Bookworm]

From what I can tell, the trans narrative is the "knew since I was toddler, am transitioning to straight, and want to go the whole nine yards." Someone correct me if I am wrong though.
I didn't figure it out until I was an adult due to being deep in denial, am attracted to guys, and although I do want to do all the stuff, I'm currently not too keen on the options of bottom surgery. (Before someone jumps down my throat for that, I would like to point that this is personal to me and I am in no way judging anyone else.)

Well under that definition:
Yes. (Since age ~5, though I didn't have a word for it until I was 29)
No! (Unless something changes, as while the idea of sex with a guy doesn't bother me, I've never been sexually attracted to a man. No offense, boys!)
No. (Financialy unviable, and there are other things more important in regards with transition that just come ahead of it for me)

So ... no. I guess I don't.

[Shakira]

These replies are good because I don't fit it very much at all.I was going to start a thread to see if I was mental or something since I'm not a "true" transsexual.(the quotation marks are sarcasm)I'm almost the same as suzifrommd except I liked wearing women's clothes and didn't know all men don't hate being hairy and having no butt.I have the same problems with the gatekeepers too.

[Ephemeral]

I wanted to make the thread because I don't feel I fit the narrative either and I was curious how many who feel that way. I suspect that not fitting the narrative can make it difficult to get the treatment you desire as I suspect that might be happening to me right now but it's speculation; it has made me unnecessarily doubt myself and whether I am doing the right thing even though I feel so much happier and comfortable with myself now compared to pre-transition and especially pre-HRT. I just had a vague feeling during my young adulthood that something wasn't right with my gender identity and I refused to label myself as a woman and felt I had issues fitting in etc but I for a long time rationalized that I was simply atypical/tomboy.

Piecing the clues together was difficult because they don't fit the narrative but it's more a general sense of always wondering/seeking to be a boy and feeling that life had been better as such. I also strongly identify with male characters over female.

[alabamagirl]

I'm not entirely sure what the "transgender narrative" is. I haven't really experienced a whole lot of commonality in dysphoria among the people I've met, and I've yet to medically transition, so I haven't experienced any gatekeeping, either, but...

I suppose I fit it in some ways. I always knew there was something seriously off about me, and probably always knew subconsciously that it was my gender, but I didn't consciously admit it until puberty. I guess that fits into the narrative. But the other stuff...

I'm totally grossed out by guys and would never, ever consider a romantic/sexual relationship with one. It's amazing how this is such a stumbling point for a lot of the people I've met. I've met so many people within our own community who either just assume I'm into guys because I'm a woman (you wouldn't think we'd be quite so hung up on heterosexuality as cis people, but apparently so), start talking in detail to me about their sexual encounters with men because they assume I can relate (I'm just internally cringing and thinking, "Ewww! I did not ask to hear this!" the whole time, but it's not like I can say that. =P), or even worse, the ones who think my sexuality somehow makes me less of a woman or is some weird indicator of masculinity. Some even seem to think I'm only into girls because of the T. I wonder how they account for all the cis lesbians out there.

As for how I experience dysphoria, I suppose that doesn't quite line up with the standard definition, either. My genitals, while I wish I could afford to change them, are probably the part of my body I care about the least. The way I see it, no one else is even going to know what I have down there except my partner, so why should I be overly concerned about them? My list of what causes me the most dysphoria goes something like this...

1. Voice.
I don't have to constantly look at myself, but I do have to constantly speak and hear my voice, which is very deep and masculine, causing me major dysphoria.

2. Hair.
I can't grow my hair out because of the MPB that has spread across the entire top of my head, I hate touching my face and being reminded of the stubble there, and then there's the body hair... Ugh. It's everywhere.

3. The lack of any sort of ) ( figure. I'm hoping this will change once I lose enough weight. I'm going to be pretty devastated if there isn't at least some degree of a feminine figure hiding underneath the fat.

4. Breasts.
I want them so, so badly...

5. Genitals.
Last on the list. I doubt I'll ever be able to afford the surgery. I make very little money and there are so many things that would come before it, if I did. I guess I'm... okay... with them. As long as I don't have to use them for penetration, I can deal.

[Brenda E]

No "ever since I was a baby" story here either.  No inkling that I was trans at that age, nor through early adulthood either; just thought I had a secret desire to switch genders, but hid it because it seemed perverted.  Never crossdressed, never suffered from much dydphoria.  Feelings hit me hard in the past few years though, and in retrospect there were many experiences and feelings I had growing up that were obviously unidentified symptoms.  So my narrative is the "late bloomer" story, and to be honest I often feel that it's an inferior story to the "I knew I was trans in the cradle and crossdressed throughout my entire childhood and was depressed and always hated my genitals" story that is often peddled as the official trans narrative.  Makes me second guess myself all the time, and I often find myself asking whether I'm really trans at all.  Glad to read that the narratives are diverse and not all stories of misery and angst and suicide attempts.