The transgender narrative

[Lonicera]

I fit the stereotypical 'child that knew' narrative sufficiently that gatekeepers have effectively rubber-stamped and waved me through thus far. I appreciate I'm incredibly fortunate for that which is why I loathe the narrative imposed on trans people and the way it's used to judge legitimacy. I don't think anyone should have to doubt their personal experience due to unwarranted expectations or fit through very small hoops in order to justify their unique identity. It creates arbitrary and detestable suffering for so many.

For me, the narrative seems to be a product of trying to survive in a gender essentialist society that's determined to protect its weak foundations. I'd guess that if we offer definitive conclusions that fit a predictable pattern then we become a somewhat known quantity and less of threat to dominant ideas. It ensures as many trans people as possible can be assimilated into the existing prevalent gender model and limits confrontation with the authority of cis assumptions. Those that have power over us are prevented from questioning their world-view and maintain the illusion of definitive categories. Girls remain sugar, spice, and all things nice while boys remain slugs, snails, and puppy dog tails. We're just 'errors' that can be rectified and hidden as often as possible.

It's why I tend to giggle at the accusations that trans people reinforce gender stereotypes. We're not the ones that created those stereotypes and we're not the ones heavily punishing anyone that transgresses them. If trans diversity were actually acknowledged and accepted by professionals and society then I'd guess, and hope, that the restrictive gender essentialist edifice would crumble.

In terms of personal experience with this, a psychotherapist said she was very supportive of me moving forward with treatment due to 'showing a powerful sense of femaleness.' While I was relieved to be getting what I need, it also made me incredibly peeved since explanation quickly revealed she meant my body language, habits, conversational language use, etc conformed with stereotypes of femininity. She used my personal gender expression to judge my core identity and the possibility of her doing that to people whose expression doesn't concord with stereotypes scares me.

Another aspect of the stereotypical narrative I tend to think about is whether causality was reversed for me. Did I absorb the narrative then begin interpreting my life in accordance with it? The fact I first expressed my discomfort and need to be female at age eight would suggest not but I also found information on gender dysphoria when twelve so it's entirely conceivable that the weighting I've given to childhood memories or life experiences since that point has been unwittingly affected by that.

Anyhoo, sorry for rambling. Thank you if you read that nonsense. Hehe.

[alabamagirl]

I didn't think it was nonsense at all. I enjoyed reading it.

[Ephemeral]

I fit the stereotypical 'child that knew' narrative sufficiently that gatekeepers have effectively rubber-stamped and waved me through thus far. I appreciate I'm incredibly fortunate for that which is why I loathe the narrative imposed on trans people and the way it's used to judge legitimacy. I don't think anyone should have to doubt their personal experience due to unwarranted expectations or fit through very small hoops in order to justify their unique identity. It creates arbitrary and detestable suffering for so many.

For me, the narrative seems to be a product of trying to survive in a gender essentialist society that's determined to protect its weak foundations. I'd guess that if we offer definitive conclusions that fit a predictable pattern then we become a somewhat known quantity and less of threat to dominant ideas. It ensures as many trans people as possible can be assimilated into the existing prevalent gender model and limits confrontation with the authority of cis assumptions. Those that have power over us are prevented from questioning their world-view and maintain the illusion of definitive categories. Girls remain sugar, spice, and all things nice while boys remain slugs, snails, and puppy dog tails. We're just 'errors' that can be rectified and hidden as often as possible.

It's why I tend to giggle at the accusations that trans people reinforce gender stereotypes. We're not the ones that created those stereotypes and we're not the ones heavily punishing anyone that transgresses them. If trans diversity were actually acknowledged and accepted by professionals and society then I'd guess, and hope, that the restrictive gender essentialist edifice would crumble.

In terms of personal experience with this, a psychotherapist said she was very supportive of me moving forward with treatment due to 'showing a powerful sense of femaleness.' While I was relieved to be getting what I need, it also made me incredibly peeved since explanation quickly revealed she meant my body language, habits, conversational language use, etc conformed with stereotypes of femininity. She used my personal gender expression to judge my core identity and the possibility of her doing that to people whose expression doesn't concord with stereotypes scares me.

Another aspect of the stereotypical narrative I tend to think about is whether causality was reversed for me. Did I absorb the narrative then begin interpreting my life in accordance with it? The fact I first expressed my discomfort and need to be female at age eight would suggest not but I also found information on gender dysphoria when twelve so it's entirely conceivable that the weighting I've given to childhood memories or life experiences since that point has been unwittingly affected by that.

Anyhoo, sorry for rambling. Thank you if you read that nonsense. Hehe.

I do think that trans people can enforce these expectations and standards as well though; it is bigoted but you aren't prevented from being bigoted just because you are trans. I've seen a lot of MtFs expressing phobia towards crossdressers in the lines of, "I am not that" for example.

I think I could see a gender therapist myself right just to confirm my feelings though costs is an issue and I am not sure it's worth it just to affirm myself, but essentially I feel a little like I just have weird assorted memories of what I did or thought as a child that I feel suggests that my experiences go back further than when I began realizing that I actually feel very uncomfortable with my gender at the age of 17-18. These memories include that I found it odd that I couldn't play with boy's toys at a certain age for example, or knowing I cannot run shirtless anymore though it felt odd that I couldn't, always wanting to do things the boy's way and I began to despise anything I thought of as girly at a certain age too but not like I actually dressed in boy's clothing, always played the boy etc. Depicting myself as a man came much later in literature when I began writing fiction as a teenager where almost all of my protagonists were explicitly male and most of them tended to reflect myself in some way and I began to relate much more to masculine gender expressions than feminine albeit perhaps on the more effeminate spectrum.

[Lonicera]

I do think that trans people can enforce these expectations and standards as well though; it is bigoted but you aren't prevented from being bigoted just because you are trans. I've seen a lot of MtFs expressing phobia towards crossdressers in the lines of, "I am not that" for example.

Oh dear, I'd like to deeply apologise if I gave the impression I disagree with this. I entirely agree that trans people are part of the overarching system that yields gender essentialism and I expect that I unwittingly perpetuate it given I absorbed social expectations. I was just idly speculating about the ultimate origins and purpose I'm guessing the idea of a standardised trans narrative serves. I've met enough of the utterly nasty holier-than-thou types to know there's a significant problem with overt essentialism and a pervasive 'subtle' problem impacting ideas too.