Out in the neighborhood

[awilliams1701]

I wore a denim skirt yesterday. I figured since it could be confused for shorts, it would be easier on me. I did pretty well. Yesterday I was noticed by a teenager who was very rude about it. He mentioned something like "I haven't seen anything like that outside of Walmart." He recorded me on his phone for 2-3 blocks. Fortunately afterword I felt it was time to just open the door on the community Facebook page. So far I've gotten several supportive comments. I still have 2 sisters and work to go. I'm going to call HR in the morning and see what the deal is. I'm thinking of talking to the sisters now.

[mrs izzy]

I feel you are on a steam engine (your life metaphor) and your shoveling the coal in as fast as you can with out paying attention to whats ahead.

Somewhere deep inside me i see a train wreck coming.

SLOOOOOW down. Relax because soon all ell will break loose emotionally.

Just my nickels worth.
Isabell

[awilliams1701]

Well that's why I'm trying to stick to clothing that doesn't draw too much attention to myself. I'm not wearing my profile pic pictures in public nor am I planning on it. However I think its best to learn how to deal with this calmly now rather than wait until my emotions are all out of whack with homones. There is some discomfort involved, but the worst thing for now seems to be the lack of pockets or the few that I have being too small to be useful.

[awilliams1701]

One nice thing is that I've had long hair for half my life and am used to the criticism that comes with it. I realize its not the same but it should help.

[awilliams1701]

I got a response from a guy I expected to be an ass about it. Well he was an ass about it. He compared me to a strip club (We almost got stuck with a 3 story strip club being built across the street from the entrance to our neighborhood). Fortunately I was prepared for this and I didn't let him get me down. In the end he started to back down but showed a lot of ignorance yet claimed to deny it. I decided I was better off just letting the whole thing go and letting it end. I think it was the right choice. Its ironic that the teenager would bother me more, yet this guy I expected. So maybe not.

I also went to Kohl's today as Ashley and not Allen. I got to buy clothes in person. They treated me like anyone else. They didn't give me a hard time or anything. One one of the customers gave me a second look and ultimately kept going. I'm glad I went because It really cheered me up being able to be myself in public and not have anyone hassle me about it.

[LostWriter]

Keep positive. And you have a lot more confidence than I do. :3

[Ms Grace]

Can I ask if you are on HRT at the moment?

[awilliams1701]

No I'm not. My next visit with my therapist is August 1st. I'm going to bring it up, but I've only been seeing her for a month. I don't know if Alabama has a time requirement and I may have to see an Endo in Georgia, so I don't know what the requirements are. Originally she said she was very hesitant because I had only accepted it since the end of May. However she was really impressed with my progress this past week.

[Ms Grace]

OK, I only ask because it does seem you are pushing ahead rather urgently - personally, unless you intend on transitioning to full time before you go on hormones it might be better to hold back on telling work for a while. Usually telling employers you are trans works best if it comes with a follow through plan but, if everything is going to be in limbo for months, they may not take you very seriously and gives rumours fertile ground to spread (that was my experience twenty years ago when I was in more of a rush to tell everyone well before going full time).

[awilliams1701]

Originally I wasn't going to come out until around starting HRT, but it started as an accident and continued on with confidence. One good thing about coming out now is that by getting all the reactions now, I won't have to deal with them as intently when I start hormones. From what I've read the hormones can really screw with your emotions. I have mixed feelings about it, but at the same time I told my therapist what had been going on and that I would like to keep coming out and she seemed ok with that. I work with some really good people and I'm hoping that their reactions are similar to my neighborhood.

The biggest problem I have at the moment is my lack of clothing. I don't have a lot that I would wear in public. I'm also not trying to overly draw attention to my self. My sister told me one of my dresses was pushing that a bit. However she thought everything else was ok. But I think I have 3 or 4 outfits. That's not enough to go full time. I wish I had someone to go shopping with me. I might, I met a transgender girl who is on hormones recently. I'm hoping I can get her to go with me sometime. To make things worse, I only have men's shoes and I have big feet. I'm about a 12 wide or a 13 normal (men's). I ordered some shoes online that are 13 double wide (women's). I'm hoping it will work. Since they are sandals, I think the length won't be as bad as the width.

[LostWriter]

http://www.nationalfootwear.com/shoe_size_chart.htm

I found this with a quick Internet search. I wear an eleven in men's and a few years ago I had to get high heels for a Halloween costume and I remember the number being higher by two or three. (Two according to that site.)

Good luck either way.

And I'm curious about where in Alabama you found a therapist? Birmingham? I live close to Mobile and all of the specialized therpist seem so far from me.

Just my two cents.

[awilliams1701]

I'm in Huntsville and it looks like we don't have Endos, but you do. My parents live in Georgia near Atlanta, so that might be a better choice. My therapist is not that far about 30 minutes for work or home. She's not an LGBT specialist, but she does have experience and I believe one of her coworkers is. I chose her because she's younger and I knew I would feel more comfortable that way.