GRS & BA surgery with Chett August 2014

[Donna Elvira]

Just a little over four weeks left before going under the knife for the 4th time in three years:

-   Upper face FFS July 2011
-   Lower face FFS August 2012
-   Face Lift October 2013
-   GRS & BA surgery August 2014

The first three operations already represents a total of 19-20 hours of surgery with another long and very invasive intervention ,  ~ 7  hours, to come.

I would be lying if I said it has been anything but grueling and yet, as I realize what these surgeries have allowed me to achieve, there are no regrets.

I am already living full time as the woman I always felt I should have been and in spite of some problems with work, I would have to say that I have had a very smooth transition so far. Even workwise, while my present fixed term contract is coming to end very shortly and has not been renewed, I have every reason to believe that I should be able to rebound successfully once I have the last operations behind me.  Actually, without this interruption in work, it would have been impossible to do GRS.  So, looking at it from that angle, it is even a blessing in disguise.

As indicated in the title to this thread, for GRS & BA I'm going to Dr Chettawut in Bangkok, a choice based on reputation and availability in a time frame that met my requirements. I have to admit that his prices also look very attractive compared to others, 10k€ (~ 13,5k$) for GRS and BA using cohesive gel implants.

With the memory of the other surgeries still very present, particularly coming around after a long anesthesia, sleepless nights, vomiting  etc.. I am already very apprehensive about the surgery itself. However, I am deeply happy that I can finally take this step and since I'm a nonsmoker and  in excellent health so far, I am as confident as one can be that I should have a reasonably trouble free recovery.

As with some of the other major steps in my late transition, I also find myself wondering if I'm really doing all of this or if it's not some crazy dream that just seems to go on and on. End of the day, I guess that given how crazy the whole notion of life is, this is not any crazier than any of the rest...  

Assuming it is not a dream, since I also recently got a date for the court hearing for my Civil Identity Change, 12th September (also my birthday!), I can hope to be able to pursue my life from this autumn onwards with all the boxes finally ticked: a face and a body I'm at last happy with, accepted as a woman by everyone who really counts in my life and all of my official documents also attesting to the fact that I'm a woman.

It's a journey that will have taken me 57 years which, among others,  took me to a seminary, saw me run away from home and country aged 18, saw me serve 5 years in an elite paratroop regiment, go back to school for 6 years, got me into a disastrous first marriage (apart from the kids who I love like my life) but also  a beautiful second marriage and quite a lot of other places. In many ways, several lives already crammed into one and now finally the hope of finding some of the peace that has eluded me so far. I can see the next few months being just a little bit emotional but hopefully, mostly very positive emotions.

I'm staying at the Rama, arriving 15th August, surgery 20th August , flight home 11th September and if anyone else is around, I'd be very happy to link up.

Otherwise, like others before me, I will certainly write up my experience with Chett and his team.
Hugs
Donna

[Monkeymel]

The dream is real. As much as reality can ever be real. And you have come so far - and so well - that the icing on the cake is likely to be full of diamonds.

I'll try to get to the Rama cottages before I leave (21.08) - but am sure you will recover well. Although I'm not sure about rollerblading In Bangkok....

Hugs
Melissa

[Donna Elvira]

Hi Melissa,
I suspect it will be me visiting you at the Dusit before my own surgery. I know you're off in just a few days and will be thinking of you very, very much on the 28th.
Wishing you a pleasant few days in Bangkok when you arrive and will no doubt be in touch before the big day.
Hugs
Donna

[mrs izzy]

Only suggestion i have is bring something along with you to help hold the dilators in.

Having a BA the reaching to hold the dilator might be a little on the hard side.

Not sure what you could use? Maybe a towel cut in half.

I so wish you the best and fast healing.

Isabell

[Donna Elvira]

Only suggestion i have is bring something along with you to help hold the dilators in.

Having a BA the reaching to hold the dilator might be a little on the hard side.

Not sure what you could use? Maybe a towel cut in half.

I so wish you the best and fast healing.

Isabell

Thanks Isabell,
I hadn't thought of that but I'm sure I'll find a way. I have been assured by Chett's assistant, Jittada, that there is no major problem doing BA along with GRS and after your post, rechecked the lenght of my arms to try imagine the mechanics of dilating with reduced mobility. There seems to be plenty of clearance but I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating...

I don't plan on having big implants either, more likely the smallest as it happens, just enough to have a full B cup, a result I obtain today using an external 100 cc silicon insert. Since the smallest implants are 200cc, I'm thinking I won't be going any further than that, even if I have heard Chett likes to go for larger boobs... 


Bises
Donna

[Monkeymel]

Just a quick thought / question:
Clothes for the clinic and first week. Longer terms It's clear to wear loose fitting garments - one size larger knickers and I bought a few darker coloured full length skirts for that. However what about the first week post op- should I sacrifice a couple of extra large T-shirts or does the clinic provide deliciously sexy gowns?

Thanks Melissa the Packing Monkey

[Donna Elvira]

Hi Melissa,
I assume we have gowns while in the clinic and I am bringing cotton kimonos for the stay in the hotel as they are very comfortable and very easy to put on and take off. If you're not doing BA surgery, large cotton tee-shirts sound like an equally  good option.

Afterwards, I think it will be all loose fitting cotton or linen dresses but am open to any other suggestions...?

Hugs
Donna

[calicarly]

How many cc's did you decide on for the breast implants Donna? I am so very happy for you achieving all of this! I can't wait for the day I can look forward to My Grs date too.

[Donna Elvira]

How many cc's did you decide on for the breast implants Donna? I am so very happy for you achieving all of this! I can't wait for the day I can look forward to My Grs date too.

Hi Carly,
I answered that question in an earlier post, probably the smallest or close to smallest size available ie. 200 - 250cc. This is because I have quite a small frame, have already had reasonable natural breast growth and have never been a fan of really big breasts. It should also make recovery that much easier...

I noticed that we'll both be having surgery around the same time and since you're going to Dr VdV, I'll have a special thought for you on the 26th. Give him my best regards.

Hugs
Donna

[calicarly]

Awe thank you so much Donna!!  I will send a little bit of good energy and a little prayer for your op to go great on the 20th, I will think of you too. You're brave but also caring, as sharing your experiences helps others get through theirs,  and I can tell that's why you like to share as much as possible about your journey, to help.

I will let Dr Bart know Hun x

Carly

[Donna Elvira]

Another week closer  to the big day and the exchanges with Melissa before she set off brought the subject even more to the fore.

It's actually great for me that she went out first as I get to benefit from fresh first hand feedback on the whole Chettawut experience.

When he asks me what my expectations regarding surgery are I will however have to come up with something different to the 15" deep vagina as it just might just start to suffer a bit from over use. I'm going to have to give the subject some thought though as for now, apart from having something that looks cute, is very sensate and ideally allows me to pee fairly straight (or at least not pee all over myself) , I haven't a clue what I would answer to such a question.

Since I still have some time in front of me, it might actually be worth while starting a thread on how people would describe their ideal vagina; a real brain storming, out of the box thinking session ie. designer vaginas for the deranged!  I know that in certain Bangkok bars, vaginas are used for projecting ping-pong balls but personally would prefer one that could play the flute, the oboe or an equally elegant wind instrument.. 

Now that I think of it, Stephaniec, who has asked more "transexistentiel" questions than the rest of us put together over the last few months, would almost certainly jump at the opportunity to follow up on that idea...

Other than that, just back from a very energetic two hour cycle followed by a very relaxing bath, my thoughts were very much on the episode to come: how long a recovery before I'll again be able to experience the same pleasure in making my muscles work hard, how much I expect to enjoy what I see when I look down at my body while lying in a bath? Strangely, even while cycling, at one stage I was fighting back tears that welled up out of nowhere, tears of regret for all the years I waited, tears of relief or joy at what's to come? I don't really know but what I do know is that this is certainly one of the biggest decisions I will have made in all my life, leaving no possibility of ever, ever going back.

It makes me very glad that I allowed myself a lot of time to decide as today, while I do have lots of fears about the surgery itself , I can really say with as much certainty as anyone can have on such a question before actually living the experience, this is something I really want.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to enjoy the few weeks that are left as much as possible before the long convalescence to be expected afterwards. While I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm living every day as though it were my last, knowing that Sept-Nov will be one long dilation, I'm definitely indulging both my wife and myself a bit more than usual. 

Hugs
Donna

P.S. My surgery is in August 2014 not 1014  . I have a love affaire with 1014, the year Brian Boru beat the Vikings at the battle of Clontarf, at last pushing them out of Ireland for good. For us Irish, apart from finally pushing out the Brits in 1921 after 700 very long years, it is pretty well the only notable military victory we can get our teeth into...

[Monkeymel]

To answer the question of clothing - a few old t shirts to feel good in. And a dark coloured skirt to go back to hotel in...

Finding peace before the operation is important and your experience mirrors mine fairly well - crying whilst doing sports - something we both love. But you will be fine - I suspect our expectations of how we should react feel stronger than they need to be. Actually you are a strong lady - although it is important to give yourself "me time" before you go...

I often had difficulty visualising that I would be here. Yet here I am and happy. I'm positive it will be the same for you... And those others reading - we are all different but finding your inner peace; and working to picture / visualize life afterwards is very important.

Prepare well - your Irish blood will keep you strong!

[mrs izzy]

Thanks Isabell,
I hadn't thought of that but I'm sure I'll find a way. I have been assured by Chett's assistant, Jittada, that there is no major problem doing BA along with GRS and after your post, rechecked the lenght of my arms to try imagine the mechanics of dilating with reduced mobility. There seems to be plenty of clearance but I guess the proof of the pudding is in the eating...

I don't plan on having big implants either, more likely the smallest as it happens, just enough to have a full B cup, a result I obtain today using an external 100 cc silicon insert. Since the smallest implants are 200cc, I'm thinking I won't be going any further than that, even if I have heard Chett likes to go for larger boobs... 


Bises
Donna

Just wanted you to think about a plan b if reaching hurts. I know when I had mine reaching was no picnic.

I so wish you the very best and waiting for you in the sisterhood. Will send my healing energy.

Oh lots of pillows behind you could help.

[Donna Elvira]

Just wanted you to think about a plan b if reaching hurts. I know when I had mine reaching was no picnic.

I so wish you the very best and waiting for you in the sisterhood. Will send my healing energy.

Oh lots of pillows behind you could help.

Hi Isabell,
I really appreciate the input but am not sure what I can do in terms of a plan B. I'm sure I'll have lots of pillows so that shouldn't be an issue but otherwise I'll just have to hope that I can handle whatever condition I'm in post surgery bearing in mind that dilation doesn't start until about 7 days after the operation. The fact is, I do have pretty long arms ( maybe a consequence of about 20 years of serious rowing, starting age 12.. ) with lots of clearance compared to my nether regions!
Hugs
Donna

[Donna Elvira]

The preparation for my coming GRS and BA surgery has entailed a couple of firsts, including my first chest X-Ray as a woman which I did on Friday morning. The experience was all the more interesting as all my ID's, including my medical insurance card on which there is an old (pre-FFS) photo, still say I'm a male.
However, as I'm fulltime,  I made my appointment as Donna and showed up as Donna.  The receptionist at the Medical Imaging center greeted me as Madame, took my medical insurance card and told me to take a seat in the waiting room.
Based on a couple of previous experiences I was a bit apprehensive about being called out as "Monsieur" in front of the other people who were waiting but when my turn came, happily I was called out as Madame.
Next step was removing my blouse and bra for the chest X-Ray,  exposing both my smallish breasts (the reason for my BA surgery) and a far more muscular upper body than would be typical for a woman my age. Nevertheless the Radiologist, a woman,  called me Madame from beginning to end which was really nice. Not only that, after I went back to the waiting room while the report was prepared, she came out and introduced herself as a neighbour, living just two houses down from where I live. She told me she had seen my address and we had a nice little chat about life on our street. She was probably close to my age, was very friendly and at the end of the exchange I was pretty sure she had actually perceived me as a woman. Either that or she was curious about me but nothing she said indicated that this was the case.
End of the day, having expected an awkward experience, it ended out being a very validating one putting me in excellent humour for the rest of the day.(souvenir photo below  )

[Julia-Madrid]

Dear Donna

Excellent souvenir photo.  I really should have put up the panoramic IMAX-quality jaw shot on my FFS page ha ha!

I was just reflecting on the validation we receive in the Francophone countries through the use of "Madame", which is so very common.  On my last visit to Paris I was Madame'd everywhere except at our hotel where the manager doggedly insisted on Monsieur throughout.  It reminds me of that great expression in English : if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck.  I just don't think such expressions translate well into French , but I digress.  In Madrid people prefer to use the formal "Usted" although I do get Señora'd from time to time.  Not quite as validating but good enough I suppose.  But yes, it's always a bit stressful as you wait to have your name called in a doctor's waiting room and wonder whether you're about to be misgendered in front of a whole bunch of strangers!

As I sit here nursing my wounded face, I must confess that I am a little bit envious that you are so close to the end of your journey. Another bout of excellent knife work (sounds like a sushi chef) and you'll be there.  It must be a very special feeling to know how close you are now.

Interesting times...

Hugs from Marbella

Julia / A...

[Donna Elvira]

Thanks Julia,
I hope you received my "cheer-up' PM since yesterday , not that you needed it too much 

Talking about coming to the end of one's journey, I waited until both of my parents passed away before finally going for it. Maybe I'm wrong but I really don't believe they could have handled it.

Given my own feelings about this , it has always surprised me a bit to see the number of people whose mothers come along with them for GRS. In my own case, apart from the fact that she passed away 25 years ago, it's not an idea that I would have been comfortable with. Maybe I'm wronging her a bit (hopefully I am) but following a private  exchange with Melissa on the subject  over the weekend, I tried to imagine what a pre-surgery chat  with my mother might have been like. It came out looking like this: 

Mother: If God had wanted you to be a girl, you'd have been born a girl and not a boy.

Me:  Mum, with all due respects, when it suits you, you'd be the first to argue that God works in mysterious ways.

Mother: Don't be cheeky now, you're not too old to get a clip on the ear!

Me: Ah Mum, for God's sake, I'm almost 57 and you're no longer in any condition to give me a clip on the ear. You'd probably end out hurting yourself more than me.

Mother: I won't stay here and listen to you taking the Lord's name in vain! Have you talked to a priest about what you're about to do?

Me: Come on Mum, you've got to be kidding. Apart from christenings, weddings and funerals, I haven't been near a priest in the last  35 – 40 years and what on earth would a priest be able to say to me anyway?

Mother: I knew it, you have allowed yourself to stray from the one true catholic faith and this is the result. I just can't believe that you can do this, betraying both your family and your faith.  God only knows what the neighbours will think!

Me: Mum, I think the neighbours have mostly passed away and now that I think about it, those that were my age probably remember how much I enjoyed playing as a girl with the girls during my early childhood. If you think about it a bit, all the dots connect.

Mother:  If you continue with this rubbish, I warn you, it's not the dots that will connect, it's my hand with your ear...

Me: Mum, can't you remember all the time I spent playing with Christine O'G who you always considered to be a bit of a tomboy?  Well with her, and most of the others as it happens, I almost always played as a girl.

Mother: I knew it, Christine's mother was a Protestant and we all know what those people are like.  I should never have let you anywhere near those unbelievers. I'm sure it was they that lead you astray and perverted you!

Me: Mum, it was great talking to you but I have to go now, there're calling me to go down to the operating theatre.

Mother: Have you at least been to confession? If not, there's still time to call a priest for the last sacrament....

Me: Bye Mum, I really have to go!


Melissa, I dedicate this post to you and hope it raises a smile when you finally emerge from your post surgical fog.
Fond regards.
Donna
 

[Julia-Madrid]

Oh my Donna, you know that I can't laugh at the moment with all this swelling!!!  So, your mother must have been quite a character, and by the sounds of it, very "traditionally" Irish.  Your little dialogue reminds me so much of the things Spike Milligan used to regale us with in his WW2 books, especially the first one!

Catholics, Jews, we're all part of a very strange little club of the guilty and matriarchal.  Although, as I comment to my friends, Catholics get their guilt from their priests, whereas Jews get it from our mothers    Either way, it takes us to a similar place we have to climb out of!

This said, I long ago shed any notions of guilt - nowdays I just say that I'm Jewish for sentimental reasons, which generally means getting together for some stodgy central-European food a few times a year!  Quite probably there are some equally stodgy items lurking about the Irish pantry!

I have been very lucky with my parents.  They come from a slightly weird almost-hippy period and have always been exceptionally supportive, sometimes too much.  In fact, when I came out to them as transgender just two months ago they were highly indignant.  Not because I was trans, but because they never knew and considered it to be a huge breakdown in the very communicative relationship we've always had.  And yesterday, I had my mother giggling and crying simultaneously when she said that she'd always wanted another girl to dress up, and I told her that she now had her chance and was doing pretty well at it

So now you know why I look a little like Barbera Streisand

[Danniella]

Since I still have some time in front of me, it might actually be worth while starting a thread on how people would describe their ideal vagina; a real brain storming, out of the box thinking session ie. designer vaginas for the deranged! 

This is a brilliant idea xD

Everybody has different ideas on what they would love in their own designer lady parts, it would be interesting to see how we all vary on the subject ^^;

Good luck with the big day! <3

[Donna Elvira]

This is a brilliant idea xD

Everybody has different ideas on what they would love in their own designer lady parts, it would be interesting to see how we all vary on the subject ^^;

Good luck with the big day! <3

Danniella,
You put me up to it. It is done and I am awaiting contributions...

The more I think about it, the more I love the idea of arriving in Chett's office and ,when asked what my expectations are regarding GRS, handing him a very detailed written"spec", sitting back and waiting for his reaction. 

Hugs
Donna