Alone in a crowded room

[Emjay]

So today I was out with my wife where we board our horses.  I'm not full time yet, though it's coming soon.  There were a lot of other people there that we are friends with but none of them know just yet about me.  It's kind of a "traditional" crowd, for lack of a better term, so I'm a little apprehensive about when I do come out there but that's a different story.

Anyway, my horse wasn't having the best day which raised my anxiety level.  My own insecurities went nuts and all of a sudden it's a GD-festival in my head.......  Sucks.....  Really bad actually....

I don't know what I'm really even expecting out of this post other than I just really feel a need to say it somewhere.

I really hate feeling totally alone in a crowded place. 

[JustFirefly]

I am sorry to hear that, I get that feeling a ton. One of my old roommates was a party person and having people over here nightly made me feel so alone. I feel the same way at work a lot of the time even though im around a lot of "friends". In reality sometimes i feel like I get lonely when im missing being able to be who i actually am.. Does that make any sense? Haha.

[Bols]

You're not alone in the room. I'm the girl with sad blue-grey eyes in the corner. Sending you a smile.

[Emjay]

That makes complete sense JustFirefly.  And I get this feeling at work a lot too, work isn't the same I guess.  It's somewhere I have to be, a means to an end and not something I do for recreation.  Somehow that makes it different for me?  IDK, it's weird. 

Thank you Bols, that means a lot!

[JustFirefly]

Heh there really is nothign worse then that alone feeling when your surounded by friends. My one job at a dog kennel, the owners are extremely sexist. not very nice at all in fact, it makes working there a chore and makes me feel alone when usually i want one of the female jobs (cleaning inside and the like) instead of building things and being outside for 6 hours watching dogs. Bleh. The heat is intense.. Anyways.. I got a bit off topic,

At work i tend to feel lonesome even though a I knew a lot of people outside of work. We have different views too, completely... Which just adds to the feeling.

I guess work to me is now just a means to make money to survive.

[Wynternight]

You're not alone in the room. I'm the girl with sad blue-grey eyes in the corner. Sending you a smile.

I'm in the other corner giving you both the finger wave. I've been alone in the crowded room my whole life.

[Felix]

I think that feeling is why most of us are on this site.

If it helps (as if bad comparisons ever do), I often feel like that even when surrounded by folks who are friendly and accepting. I'm not sure the feeling of isolation will ever be completely gone as long as we're all separate humans with unique histories.

Sorry for jumping into the wrong gender pool. I like to read the "recent updates" list and I wanted to chime in that you're not alone.

[Wynternight]

I think that feeling is why most of us are on this site.

If it helps (as if bad comparisons ever do), I often feel like that even when surrounded by folks who are friendly and accepting. I'm not sure the feeling of isolation will ever be completely gone as long as we're all separate humans with unique histories.

Sorry for jumping into the wrong gender pool. I like to read the "recent updates" list and I wanted to chime in that you're not alone.

We're all victims of a ->-bleeped-<-ty hand from life, Felix. We need to support each other, no matter what direction our journey is taking us.

[Emjay]

We need to support each other, no matter what direction our journey is taking us.

I couldn't agree more.

Thank you both, Wynter and Felix

[BlonT]

I stand alone in the room to,why ? Because i do not trust people anymore.Sad but time taught me that.
But i love nature and smile.

[canadianlove]

i feel alone in the crowds, i have come to terms with my transsexuality, but since that time my body dysphoria has gotten greatly worse, when i am out with my friends and see woman i want to break down and cry. why was it that i was given this body. and what do i do about it?

i recently landed my dream job in a architecture firm, but that has made me realize that now transitioning might not be possible if i want to keep this job as i need to deal with new/prospective clients. i want to cry, the storm brewing within seems to get worse and worse.

any suggestions?

[janetcgtv]

It doesn't only affect TG only.

You could be in a room with a trillion people in it, but if you can't trust anyone else you will feel alone.
this also happens if people have differences.

I'm left handed and was discriminated against for being left handed when young.
I tell people about being multi ethnic and the people would leave me alone or say my relatives played around to much.
Half my relatives are Protestant  and the other half Catholic.

And of course, I'm on this web site for being TG