Are there any teachers or employees of a school?

[LJ3]

Hi. I'm a teaching assistant in special ed, and quickly becoming a teacher. I have the support and respect of the principal and a few influential teachers. I want to begin my transition but I'm concerned about the problems this could create in an elementary school, especially with parents. I look very masculine now, a lot of strangers call me "sir" until they hear my voice. So I know my school doesn't have a problem with my gender expression, but I'm concerned about actually becoming "Mr. LJ3". Has anyone experienced something similar to this?

[Mattfromengland]

Hi. I'm a teaching assistant in special ed, and quickly becoming a teacher. I have the support and respect of the principal and a few influential teachers. I want to begin my transition but I'm concerned about the problems this could create in an elementary school, especially with parents. I look very masculine now, a lot of strangers call me "sir" until they hear my voice. So I know my school doesn't have a problem with my gender expression, but I'm concerned about actually becoming "Mr. LJ3". Has anyone experienced something similar to this?

I'm not sure how useful my experience would be as it's a totally different situation, but it's kind of similar.

I teach music in my own private school. I was all prepared to lose a few students, and have to struggle for a while until I passed and then new students came in who wouldn't know......or who hadn't heard on the grapevine until everything finally settled down and possible 'gossip' stopped.

However........NOT ONE student has left as a result of my transition. All students, and parents have been 100% great about it. In fact I often find the parents asking me how things are going in front of their kids.  Yeah sure they mess up with my name and pronouns quite often, but it's a genuine mistake and doesn't bother me. (Although I now have new students who don't know I have transitioned and there's always the risk they will slip up in front of them. I'll just laugh about it though, so not massively worried.).

So......it is possible! I also think because I was pretty masculine/androgynous anyway it hasn't been a surprise, so that sounds like you'd be in that position too.

I think the difference is though that you don't know the parents themselves. I have always had a good rapport with students and parents, so I think that helps as they liked me. I suspect I managed to turn a few of the more closed minded ones into more open minded people as a result. If the they don't know you they don't have that to help them see we are normal human beings!!!

I'm sure a lot of it will boil down to how well the school handle it. I hope you are able to liaise with them about that?

Also remember at the end of the day if the worst happened (which I'm sure it won't) you could always get a job as a teacher somewhere else. Even if it meant moving away. That shouldn't need to be the case, but I think that's a comfort to know life is not completely over if the very worst happens. Transition is important and something we need to do, so if we can survive worst case scenario then we know we will be ok. Most of the time it's pretty good anyway. My only negative reaction I've had from the hundreds of people in my life was from my GP!!!!!!

I'm sure you'll be fine

[Rawb]

This is actually something I'm a little worried about! I'm starting college in September to be a TA, and I'm going to be graduated and off to work in two years. I'm scared that my transition won't be well enough along when I graduate.

[LJ3]

Mattfromengland, thank you. That's very encouraging. I remember when I started the job as a teaching assistant I was hesitant because of my masculinity, but the faculty has been very welcoming. Hopefully the same will be true during transition. It's worrisome though, for sure.

[campenella]

I've been a tutor for a long time and right before I started transitioning I changed my tutoring site so I could transition in semi peace. Some of my students were a little questiony, but I brushed off their questions and they just accepted me as male. I hope that I can at least get top before I go back to tutoring kids, right now I'm hoping to get more work tutoring college students since they don't ask questions about you as much.

[Rawb]

I'm going to be working probably in a junior high school, and then with elementary aged kids during the summer.
So.
That should be interesting.

[aleon515]

There's an MTF I know, something like suzifromMD?? who transitioned and stayed at the same school (High School), she's in Maryland, which has a lot of protections, but she seemed like she did very well with it. Recently a MTF in Texas was actually fired for being trans (I think she was later reinstated, but then she is still not given a position). So things are very mixed in the country.

You may try the Transgender forum, as I think she does post and read there. There are other teachers as well who may post there.

I am retired from teaching, if I had stayed another year, I would have had to come out. I know of one trans guy who teaches in the Albuquerque Public Schools, he also teaches high school. He has had no problems, afaik, but he changed schools, but not sure if that was his own idea or the administration. My understanding is that moving is common place and that (in the NM contract anyway) they have no legal obligation to EVER keep you in your current placement, the only thing they are required to do in NM is keep you employed. We do have state protection for trans employees.



--Jay

[Whynaut]

I think a big factor is where you live. You'll have better luck in bigger cities usually. Though college towns can be good because they're usually socially liberal.

In my state, it's illegal to discriminate against someone for gender identity. I just graduated from a teaching program where I did my internship under my female name and got hired at my current district under my female name. After signing the contract, I came out to them (it helped that I had already legally changed my name with the the court and on my driver license) and they were fine with it. A lady from HR contacted me directly and said to come to her with any problems I encounter with anyone.

I think if you have the support of your principal, you should be golden. I'd ask them to connect you to someone in HR at the district office (this is a public school right?) so you have extra support and that way your principal has some back-up if anyone reacts poorly.

It sounds like you might also be in school? People in the career/licensing office of your teaching program might also be helpful. Your school might even have legal services you could speak to for the best way to approach the subject.

As Matt said, it's much easier to transition in this case if you already present very masculine. I interviewed in a men's suit with a men's haircut so the transition was less of a surprise.

Let me know if I can help out with any more advice.

[Sebryn]

I'm a teacher of sorts. A drivers education instructor and have had no issues with my students at all, or the parents. I have one royal A as a coworker who somehow found out and is trying to tell students I used to be a woman but I just laugh it off and ask if they think that's true. They say no and that's the end of that. The coworker is kind of bigoted so many probably assume he's taking a jab at me for being openly gay and "feminine" appearing/acting. I did transition on the job but had been on hormones for a while before I started teaching so most seemed to assume I was just a girly gay guy. Worked for me....and I live in Texas. Luckily my city does offer protections for us though and most seem pretty open when I tell them.

[LordKAT]

We have a teacher here who successfully transitioned on the job. You can read many of her posts for insight. i work in school but not as a teacher or any kind of admin. I had few issues. The ones I did have were from a few individual co-workers, not admin or parents.

[LJ3]

Thank you everyone =)