"REALLY? But you look so young!"

[solexander]

Lately I've come across this issue that shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but oh well... I'm a senior in high school, and I generally pass as male all the time. I had to take summer school recently, and one thing that really got to me was that all these younger kids kept getting really surprised that I'm as old as I am. I was stealth the whole time, so it was cool that everyone was treating me normally and kinda teasing me like they would any other guy but... man. I'm just starting to get really insecure about the way I look, especially since I've always prided myself on being fairly mature and independent. People even see me at my job sometimes and ask my manager things like "how old do you even have to be to work here?". It's just... really frustrating for me. I'm on testosterone, and that's helped, but jeez. How do you deal with looking super young all the time? (If you're not old enough that it's kind of a compliment, haha...)

[Bombadil]

I have always looked super young relative to my edge. Even when I was living as a female bodied person. I guess I just sort of got used to it. I hated it when people would say how glad I'd be for it later, because it completely ignored what was going on right then. I just concentrated on presenting myself as confident and mature and hoped that would help. Make sure you aren't dressing young too.

It really is a pain. Hang in there.

[SX0877]

lol, a lot of my friends say that my face looks like 14, my body 20 and my voice 30

[Kreuzfidel]

I just laugh it off and make it out to be a beneficial thing.  My manager and I are the same age, but he looks closer to 43 than 35 (the age we both are) - and I use that fact to have a bit of a laugh with people in front of him because I look a good 10 years younger.  All in good fun - I don't get annoyed by it, though - especially as it's not happened as often since I started getting facial hair.

[nikkie]

Oh, do I know how you feel!

I'm 25 and look like I'm 12. Not kidding. I'm 5Ft tall so that doesn't help me either. I pass 9/10 times with customers at my job. How do I feel about this, well, not bad actually. Because no one really asks to see my ID at work I just say that I'm 18 just so that I can pass and not have them question me too much. It's weird for people to see a 25 year old guy that looks super young and looks like they never went through puberty. So, I work with what I have going for me. I'm pre-everything by the way.

I'm in no rush because my "time will come" (meaning t) and I won't have any issues in the future.  So for now I have fun with it.

[Evienne]

Ermerged, I have the exact same thing! Mostly naturally though, cuz I haven't taken any hormones to alter my body, but I will be with people, like when I was at bandcamp for example, and we have a fun time together, and then I tell them I'm 18, and they are like "You're 18!? No way! Are you joking?" Same thing when I was at my old job, and told my cowerkers, a lot of them who friendly would pick on me, insisted I was just joking back at them, cuz they were 16 and 17. People online, who haven't even seen my face, I tell them I'm 18, same responce "Really? I would have guessed you like 14" XD (be in mind these people didn't see me though). Bought Skyrim at Walmart, which is for 17+ and the cashier asked for my idea, and was like "ok, just making sure, you don't look 18." So yeah, nobody believes me when I tell them that. However for me, I kinda like that. I find the whole matter funny, and it's fun to see their reactions. And besides, wouldn't it be a good thing that people think of you younger than older anyways?

[chaotic]

yep, same here! when i was 17, a pharmacist told me "sorry we don't give prescriptions to children under 11". under. 11.

that was 2 years ago and it's not much better now. the worst part is walking my dog in the nearby park and having a few twelve year olds crushing on me. oh, god. the worst. my friends do love to poke fun at me for that. of course, this also makes me trying to flirt with a stranger my age extremely difficult, since they assume i'm just a kid and brush me off. the only good thing i keep telling myself is "when i'm 40 i'll look like i'm 20 and then i'll be the one laughing".

[blink]

Got this a lot before transition (odd, given the social proscription against asking women their age), and people seem even more flabbergasted now, if they ask. Most seem to assume I'm under 18, substantially off the mark but it's fine. I'd rather people mistake me for a schoolboy than a woman. It can be awkward but doesn't present any real difficulty since I'm not into alcohol, tobacco, bars/clubs or dating (already in a long-term relationship).

[devention]

I've apparently looked twelve since I was seventeen. It's especially annoying at work I'll be sticking something, nametag on, CLEARLY working and I get "excuse me, do you work here?" "Yes, how can I help you?" "Oh my goodness, really? I thought you were too young to work here!" "I'm 22." "Gosh, I thought you were twelve!"
Perma babyface. Hopefully facial hair will sort it out.

[Dee Marshall]

The day will come when you see it as a blessing. I haven't started HRT and I'm 55. One of my staff said she thought I was 38. As I take better care of myself, maybe I can get it down to 30.

[Silver Centurion]

I remember wanting to appear older all the way through my mid twenties and then after that I wanted to retain my youth LOL. It's definitely annoying to be considered younger than you are sometimes but once the thirties roll around being considered younger is awesome 

[aleon515]

Well it doesn't quite work forever but it helps to look young, as now I have people think I am in my 40s.
OTOH, there is a certain age, I recall, where it wasn't much of an advantage. If you look too young people don't take you seriously. I have noticed trans guys have this characteristic. I think guys in their 20s often are read as male but super young without facial hair. I suppose dressing older and mature behavior might be somewhat of a help, but I don't think there's much else to do about it.


--Jay

[sveebee85]

oh i know this situation pretty good.
i´m 28 but people always think i´m younger.
went with my parents into a park, there´was an entrance and the woman behind asked us if i am 18?
was it a compliment? have no idea, 10 years younger was abit to much i think ... but we had fun

[solexander]

yep, same here! when i was 17, a pharmacist told me "sorry we don't give prescriptions to children under 11". under. 11.

that was 2 years ago and it's not much better now. the worst part is walking my dog in the nearby park and having a few twelve year olds crushing on me. oh, god. the worst. my friends do love to poke fun at me for that. of course, this also makes me trying to flirt with a stranger my age extremely difficult, since they assume i'm just a kid and brush me off. the only good thing i keep telling myself is "when i'm 40 i'll look like i'm 20 and then i'll be the one laughing".

Hahaha, oh my god! Yeah, I can't top that one. The worst I remember happening is when I was going to the DMV with my grandma for something and I had JUST started presenting as male full-time and was having a conversation with a woman in line with us and mentioned how I was getting my driver's license soon (I was 16 at the time) and she said "Really? You look WAY too young to drive!". God. That's the worst though, I feel you on having people way younger than you flirt with you though. Nobody my age wants to pay attention to me, but there are SO many 13 and 14 year olds who seem to crush on me and it's really really awkward to deal with. The worst is that, half the time, it seems to be other trans guys too, and I have this policy of never ignoring people younger than me who are trans and might need help with things. So, while I'm trying to be the more mature, older trans guy who they feel like they can talk to about things and go to for help, they all apparently think I'm just really attractive.

[chaotic]

Hahaha, oh my god! Yeah, I can't top that one. The worst I remember happening is when I was going to the DMV with my grandma for something and I had JUST started presenting as male full-time and was having a conversation with a woman in line with us and mentioned how I was getting my driver's license soon (I was 16 at the time) and she said "Really? You look WAY too young to drive!". God. That's the worst though, I feel you on having people way younger than you flirt with you though. Nobody my age wants to pay attention to me, but there are SO many 13 and 14 year olds who seem to crush on me and it's really really awkward to deal with. The worst is that, half the time, it seems to be other trans guys too, and I have this policy of never ignoring people younger than me who are trans and might need help with things. So, while I'm trying to be the more mature, older trans guy who they feel like they can talk to about things and go to for help, they all apparently think I'm just really attractive.

yeah, you'd think the people would have the decency not to say these things, i mean you wouldn't say "you look too old to be doing X" would ya?? but alas, we must deal.

oh yeah i totally get that. i try not to be rude either but it's troubling since it's literally illegal. so i just try to go out at a time when i know the kids are not around, LOL. i've never met another transguy in real life though, so i can't relate to that experience, but i imagine it can be just as awkward if not more so. i don't even know how to advise you on that, other than just keep trying to be the mature one and thus not let it get too far, you know?

[solexander]

yeah, you'd think the people would have the decency not to say these things, i mean you wouldn't say "you look too old to be doing X" would ya?? but alas, we must deal.

oh yeah i totally get that. i try not to be rude either but it's troubling since it's literally illegal. so i just try to go out at a time when i know the kids are not around, LOL. i've never met another transguy in real life though, so i can't relate to that experience, but i imagine it can be just as awkward if not more so. i don't even know how to advise you on that, other than just keep trying to be the mature one and thus not let it get too far, you know?

Haha, I'm really awkward about turning people down, so it's always just me uncomfortably scooting away from some random kid trying to get my attention. "Yeah, you're really cute " "Haha. Anyways, so I was at work today, and it was really slow. It was pretty boring. I hate days like that. I think it's because the weather's been nice lately, so nobody wants to get pizza."

[4736251]

Every time I try to see an R-rated movie at the theater, they always ask for my ID.  Unfortunately my name an gender aren't legally changed  , but I doubt they're looking for that; hopefully they just confirm that I'm over 17.

[xsmittyx]

I'm old enough (44) to take it as a compliment but it can still be a little bit of a pain to be read as much younger.

[Felix]

I was young when I had my kid and I live in a region where teenaged parenting is rare, so I've always gotten a lot of funny looks and questions about my age. But I was read as way younger than I was even before I had her.

Transition made it crazy hard to get by as an adult for awhile, but it seems to have been easing up in the last year or two. It might also be that I've gotten better at managing reactions and not being bothered about it, but I'm not sure. I've been on T, um, I probably could find that out in my post history or something but I think it's been at least 3 years. Hormones do help.

When people say that stuff to me now, I just say thanks or yeah I get that a lot.

[jonjon]

I love it!!

But nothings worse than being on holiday at the beach at 22 and wanting to buy a cheap £5 kite at the newsagents, paying for it with a £20 note and the woman behind the counter says "Oh my, is that all yours?" in front of all your friends.

True story.

But I always get a kick out of it. If people ask me how old I am, I always ask them 'how old do I look?' and they always clock me as around 5yrs younger! It's awesome! I hope I look this good when i'm 90!