"Clocked" before I started

[JustFirefly]

So here is an update in my life, not that anyone here was curious xD

But I have found a therapist, Kimbell Jane Sargent, that I will be going to (once I find some spare $$). Been talking about it with a friend, trying to organize rides and the like since my car went to crap. After a few appointments with her was going to just see where things go.

Well I tend to play a lot of online games and I was doing stuff with my guild and I have no clue what I said at all but later that night one of my good buddies online pried a little and beat around the bush about transgendered and the like. I stayed a bit coy on it then he started talking about how he was transgendered but ultimately decided not to transition and joined the army instead.

I was like okay, so eventually I told him I was. He just said, I had a hunch but I didnt know for sure then went on to say that he was currently getting his masters in psychology and his area was in gender.
Surprised, Never once did I expect this person to be like that.

I asked him later about correct pronouns. More or less said that he decided not to transition for a reason and that even though he felt more like a female, he chose to stay a male. So huh.



What about you girls?
Any of you had anyone else suspicious before you even started xD?

[Sydney_NYC]

What about you girls?
Any of you had anyone else suspicious before you even started xD?

One of my close friends who transitioned 8 years ago did. When we first met 6 years ago, she asked my wife if I was transgender but didn't want to ask me directly as she didn't want to influence my own decision. My wife told her no, not that she was aware of and I was not even out to myself. At that time I was starting to identify as gender fluid, and then gender queer. When I came out to my friend, she said, "It's about time!!! I've been waiting for you to come out for some time." One thing I've noticed, is that I seem to not only have gay-dar for lesbians, I also seem to have trans-dar.

[Kaylin Kumiho]

Wait... Kimbell Jane Sargent?

I almost ended up going to that therapist when I graduated from the university... neat~ I'm still shopping around for a therapist in the area though.

As for on topic... I have never had somebody get suspicious of my gender before starting... but once I had a class about gender study before I went on HRT, and I came out as transgender to the class. When I sat back down after presenting, the girl next to me was like: "OwO Wow, hormones are incredible! You look just like a boy! It's very convincing"

[JustFirefly]

Lmao. Thats pretty funny.

Yeah idk, I heard good things about her from a lot of the local stuff. So no idea.

Idk, there doesnt seem to be a big range of therapists i can get to easily around here in cary.

[YinYanga]

"Are you gay?" "Are you gay?""Are you gay?""Are you gay?""Are you gay?""Are you gay?""Are you gay?"

That was the usual question. I still think people often think that when they see me, can't shake all the times Ive been asked

I've had a handful women during the last 10 years who almost could pierce through me and said "You're not gay, you feel like a woman dont you?"

Some say I radiate feminine energy, that its not just a visual thing.

It's hard to tell but some people seemed to know, but its very rare

[JustFirefly]

I understand that too.

All throughout highschool...

Umm are you gay?
No.
Are you gay?
Nope.
Are you gay??? Are you bi is anotehjr thing i got. Lol.

idk. but ive gotten that too where people would be like You must feel like a girl.

[Kaylin Kumiho]

Lmao. Thats pretty funny.

Yeah idk, I heard good things about her from a lot of the local stuff. So no idea.

Idk, there doesnt seem to be a big range of therapists i can get to easily around here in cary.

I live more in the raleigh area, but yeah, I know what you mean. I just plugged in 'transgender issues' into psychologists today, and filtered the list based on who accepted my insurance honestly... which is probably kinda not the best method? but thus far nobody has been particularly rude when I called ahead and asked about their experience.

Also, yeah I got the gay thing a lot... also the only time I ever got in a fight, was in middle school when a kid in my class wouldn't stop calling me Christine (birth name is Christopher)... ha... irony.

[YinYanga]

I understand that too.

All throughout highschool...

Umm are you gay?
No.
Are you gay?
Nope.
Are you gay??? Are you bi is anotehjr thing i got. Lol.

idk. but ive gotten that too where people would be like You must feel like a girl.

People confuse over the top effeminacy with femininity imo. I was never over the top so I still dont get it, maybe it was my voice

[JustFirefly]

Thats what nailed me tbh.

I always asked why they thought i was always was told it was cause my voice. Though my voice wasnt THAT bad

[YinYanga]

Do you think your voice is passable?

Mine has 'a good basis' I was told today by my (lesbian and fabulous)therapist. I have female tone but I guess I need some work. I get mam'd exclusively on the phone

It's one of the things that really cripples my daily life, I am ashamed to talk. Already feeling insecure about my looks, let alone both at the same time

[JustFirefly]

i get told all the time that my voice could be passable with some work
So its something im excited about

[Beth Andrea]

I always wondered why I could "click" with lesbians, but straight women, men and gay men
..nothing.

It was a mystery to me, until a gay man suggested I might be trans.

Thank you Mr Man, wherever you are!

[Allyda]

This thread brought tears to my eyes, and really hit home with me. All my life I've been asked if I was gay, or am I a girl or a boy, woman or a man. About half the time people would gender me female, which I of course liked. But if my adopted father was around he'd correct them. It was a mess.

As for our topic my answer is yes, the first time when I was 10 in a doctors office by a Nurse, and several times thereafter. One person even clocked me as IS/Trans in West Virginia of all places. I just stopped counting.

Allie

[YinYanga]

This thread brought tears to my eyes, and really hit home with me. All my life I've been asked if I was gay, or am I a girl or a boy, woman or a man. About half the time people would gender me female, which I of course liked. But if my adopted father was around he'd correct them. It was a mess.

As for our topic my answer is yes, the first time when I was 10 in a doctors office by a Nurse, and several times thereafter. One person even clocked me as IS/Trans in West Virginia of all places. I just stopped counting.

Allie

*many hugs* As IS it must have been even more of a horror for you having to hear all the confusing questions/pronouns.

The people who 'guessed'/sensed my true identity were amazing but they were also painful confronting experiences, in a different way from all the insults I had to endure from others

It's a little bit of relief that you're never the only one who suffered the same things

[Allyda]

*many hugs* As IS it must have been even more of a horror for you having to hear all the confusing questions/pronouns.

The people who 'guessed'/sensed my true identity were amazing but they were also painful confronting experiences, in a different way from all the insults I had to endure from others

It's a little bit of relief that you're never the only one who suffered the same things

Agreed, I've met many here on Susan's who can relate to what I went through both as a child and as an adult. The worse part is had my adopted father only not have been so stubborn I would have had things much better. One of the things that was so dam confusing to me was, he already had a biological son. Why was he so dead set on making me into another son, when I looked and acted so much like a girl, and was adamant about being a girl? He took the reason to the grave with him. Though I will say during his last years he was a much more pleasant person to be around. It's a shame it took him having a major stroke for him to get to know the real me.

Allie

[Aerynsun]

Out of the people I've come out to so far one of my friends suspected and when I was trying to figure out how to come out to my sister, she asked me if I was transgender. I still have no idea how she knew.