Depression isn't something that is easily beat.
I know this is true, I'm clinically depressed.
Not sad, not having a hard time, there isn't anything that has caused it, it just is.
It's a common misconception that you can just 'fix' it.
You don't 'just' anything about it.
It's not a simple mood, mood swing, it isn't even something emotional.
Those are all the results or symptoms of clinical depression.
Fixing them isn't going to fix depression, it only fixes what you think is a fix for it.
Here's a short article from HufPo, a very condescended version of it...
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/26/depression-frustrations_n_5692649.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopularHere's the link to WikiWhatever for it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorderDepression is a very tricky thing to learn to deal with, but it can be done.
Most often, the advice of others does nothing, but every once in a while, that advice might trigger something else that can either make it worse or better, you just never know, because it is never the same from one person to the next, or even from one hour to the next.
Those of you who think you are clinically depressed, probably aren't.
It takes a lot to actually be diagnosed with it, most people confuse it with extreme sadness, even a short term sadness.
It's not sadness, that's something entirely different. Sadness is only one symptom of it.
There's also some very different levels of depression, just like there is for being simply sad.
It manifests itself in ways that you might not even recognize as depression, it is that tricky to nail it down.
This is one big reason you don't just take a whatever antidepressant and call it a day.
Most of the time, those will help relieve some of the symptoms, maybe enough for talk therapy to help.
Most of the time, it never goes away, you learn different coping mechanisms to deal with it.
If you're lucky enough, you learn enough that people will stop the 'get over it' advice that is so often given.
Most often, simple advice is like telling someone their broken leg is just something to get over and you should just walk it off.
Dysphoria? Just walk it off, just get over it... It sounds the same to a depressed person.
While that works pretty much for someone who is sad, even profoundly sad, it doesn't work for depression, real depression.
While I applaud the efforts and the kindness of others to help, and it does in the short term sometimes, it will never stop it.
I have my own set of coping mechanisms that work for me, they won't all work for anyone else.
Some might, that's how I learned about them.
For someone who is depressed, they have to find the ones that will work for them.
Dysphoria has a lot of the same elements in it as does depression, and the symptoms overlap somewhat.
But they are two different things and the symptoms need to be addressed separately, even when they appear to be the same.
There used to be a time, for a long time in fact, that I would simply walk away from anyone trying to give me advice for it.
Not because I was being an ass about it, and I was called that because of it, but because it actually caused me physical pain to hear it.
Another symptom that most people don't associate with major or clinical depression.
It really is there, I take meds for depression, I take meds for the physical symptoms as well.
I also use a share of my therapist weekly time to talk about it every fricken week. Every week.
For five years I have been on a steady diet of meds and talk therapy, and I'm also on a steady diet of HRT, which does help me, maybe not the next person though...
Even reading the two articles above will only give you a glimmer of what it feels like, and a lot of you should know this is true.
Reading an article or wikiwhatever isn't going to make anyone understand dysphoria, unless they can actually relate to it because they experience it.
It's a very real, very hard thing to deal with. I use dysphoria as an example, because a lot of us can relate to that.
But not everyone can. I hear the same things that people give as advice for that that isn't helping as well.
It took meds or HRT and talk therapy to be able to face it and then start the process to recover enough to face the world again.
HRT takes care of a lot of dysphoria right away, but not all of it, there are always lingering traces, there are for most of us.
Depression is even worse in how debilitating it can be, there isn't a cure...
Only keeping it under control. I can after years of trying different meds and therapy. I keep it at arms length from me most days.
Most days... Some days I don't even have to think about it, I'm lucky that way.
A lot of people secretly keep it hidden away, because the advice that doesn't help, it hurts that people could think you can wish it away with some magical advice from some swami guru's book of knowledge.
Doesn't work that way.
It can help, but know that it probably won't, just makes it worse.
So I applaud peoples efforts, but know that simple advice rarely does any kind of long term help with it.
The best advice is to calmly let a person know you realize that something might be wrong.
Seeking professional help is always good advice, because far to many people think they can beat it because of all the 'good' advice they hear.
I took a lot of that to heart and it is all good advice, I use a lot of it, but not for depression, sadness maybe, just maybe.
But most of it is just generally good advice for life in general and it is appreciated and I did learn a lot from it.
But know that it never ever did anything to stop the real thing that was wrong, real depression, major or clinical.
Most people who are suffering from true depression have know idea the extent it has taken over their lives.
They want to believe that almost anything will help, wanting to avoid the stigma towards antidepressants and therapy.
Because of the stigma that society places on you.
You hear it all the time, the whispers, 'they're depressed...'
You rarely hear that about lesser things like broken bones and other things that can and do heal in time.
Mental disorders are like a voodoo curse.
You have one and people treat you like they will catch it, or worse yet just turn their back on you because they can't fix it for you.
Of course they can't, it doesn't work that way.
The very best thing you can do is to acknowledge it and accept it.
I have to, I have no other choice.
It's either accept it for what it is or off myself.
Tried that, it didn't work out so well...
(*Yah, I know, it triggers me too.)
I can't let it go, but you can, it's mine, not yours.
But the one small thing that is so huge that you can do is to not stop your love, not to withhold it from someone who is depressed.
It's the very best thing you can do.
It's a sign that you have that kind of respect for what I or anyone else is going through.
We do that here with a lot of gender related problems and depression is a very real problem for a lot of us here, it comes with the territory it seems.
I see the love we have in comments around here all the time, we are good at it.
Really good.
Just thought you might like to know what you're up against when you know someone is depressed.
Just being there is the best thing you can do.
Let the people who are depressed know you won't give up on them.
I won't.
I can't.
I have no choice in this, I have to.
If I do give up, I give up on myself, the worst thing that I could do to me, a person who is clinically depressed.
Ativan
