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Got one! I was cut off by a family member because trans

Started by zog, July 23, 2014, 05:51:26 PM

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zog

So the first and only time happened when a family member of mine decided to cut all contact with me because he found out I'm trans. And did so with insults and said that he was ashamed of me. It has been surprisingly smooth so far and since this person was the last to know, it's likely that he'll remain the only bump in the road. Me, I'm just mostly amused by the whole thing. Why should I get upset that somebody can't handle who I am?

A "hormonehomo" is what he called me, which is rather an amusing insult. I just wonder why people keep calling trans people as gay, even though it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And besides, we have perfectly good slurs of our own! Get it together phobics!
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Jess42

Quote from: zog on July 23, 2014, 05:51:26 PM
So the first and only time happened when a family member of mine decided to cut all contact with me because he found out I'm trans. And did so with insults and said that he was ashamed of me. It has been surprisingly smooth so far and since this person was the last to know, it's likely that he'll remain the only bump in the road. Me, I'm just mostly amused by the whole thing. Why should I get upset that somebody can't handle who I am?

A "hormonehomo" is what he called me, which is rather an amusing insult. I just wonder why people keep calling trans people as gay, even though it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And besides, we have perfectly good slurs of our own! Get it together phobics!

That's a new one on me. Did he mean hormonehomosapien or hormonehomosexual? You should have stirred the pot a little and asked him that question. :D
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zog

Quote from: Jess42 on July 23, 2014, 05:53:58 PM
That's a new one on me. Did he mean hormonehomosapien or hormonehomosexual? You should have stirred the pot a little and asked him that question. :D

It was in Finnish, so saying the word homo means pretty much exclusively homosexual. But no, I'm not going to be in contact with him, even for quirky questions. (Believe me, I'd have a few that could blow his socks off.)
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alabamagirl

That made me giggle, too. Definitely one of the silliest sounding insults I've heard. I'm just a regular homosexual, myself. I'm not on hormones yet. :P
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zog

Quote from: Pikachu on July 23, 2014, 07:44:25 PM
That made me giggle, too. Definitely one of the silliest sounding insults I've heard. I'm just a regular homosexual, myself. I'm not on hormones yet. :P

It's not the hormones that define who or what you are, it's your identity. But yeah, I just reached three months on hormones today and am not even trying to pass. But I'm attracted to women, so I'm pretty much at a loss what that makes me. But I don't worry about it that much, these things usually sort themselves out one way or the other.
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Brenda E

Quote from: zog on July 23, 2014, 05:51:26 PM"hormonehomo"

That made me laugh too.

And your attitude towards the whole being cut off thing is great.  It's going to happen to us all (probably), and rather than sink into a huge depression and try to compromise to get that person back, you've given it the minimal amount of worry that it deserves and moved on with your life.

I think if you don't make a big deal about it, the family member stands a far better chance of realizing that he hasn't hurt you, nor changed your mind.  And he may well realize that because you don't care, he shouldn't really care either.

I have immense admiration for how you've dealt with this!
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Hideyoshi

I am quite frankly offended that he used such a terrible,  non-amusing-at-all slur.  Everyone knows the correct term is homonesexual.
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Dee Marshall

Quote from: zog on July 24, 2014, 04:15:55 AM
It's not the hormones that define who or what you are, it's your identity. But yeah, I just reached three months on hormones today and am not even trying to pass. But I'm attracted to women, so I'm pretty much at a loss what that makes me. But I don't worry about it that much, these things usually sort themselves out one way or the other.
I find it easier to just describe myself as gynefocal at this stage. I'm a lesbian trans-woman presenting as male but that just makes heads (and tempers) explode.
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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alabamagirl

Quote from: zog on July 24, 2014, 04:15:55 AM
It's not the hormones that define who or what you are, it's your identity. But yeah, I just reached three months on hormones today and am not even trying to pass. But I'm attracted to women, so I'm pretty much at a loss what that makes me. But I don't worry about it that much, these things usually sort themselves out one way or the other.

Oh, I'm attracted to women, too. I look at it this way: Since I am a girl, and I'm attracted to girls, that makes me homosexual. I'm sure it confuses some people, but it makes perfect sense to me.
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rma85

[quote author=zog link=topic=169906.msg1480318#msg1480318 date=1406155886

A "hormonehomo" is what he called me, which is rather an amusing insult. I just wonder why people keep calling trans people as gay, even though it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And besides, we have perfectly good slurs of our own! Get it together phobics!
[/quote]

This made me laugh out loud :) , definitely a slur I haven't heard before. He gets a point for creativity, maybe?

- I'm sorry that your family member wasn't supportive of your change. Perhaps he will come around in the long term - if he doesn't, it's his loss.
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zog

Quote from: Hideyoshi on July 24, 2014, 08:21:53 AM
I am quite frankly offended that he used such a terrible,  non-amusing-at-all slur.  Everyone knows the correct term is homonesexual.

But wouldn't that be sexual attraction to specific hormones? Don't get me wrong, I love my magic boob-making, life starting pills, but we've yet to consumate anything.

And thanks to everyone for the nice comments. I don't really think it's such a big deal how I've reacted to this. Maybe if he was a closer relative I'd be more upset but then again I'd just take them as an idiot and move on in that case as well.
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Dee Marshall

And now that you've so graciously tied a ribbon around this thread I can say that my mind keeps insisting on dropping words out of the thread title so that I get:

Got one! I was cut off by a family member because trans
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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zog

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