Its almost that time for me.
I was at the pub with friends last night. Suddenly, that moment dreaded by all 'androgynous presenting trans' appears, too much wine. I see a sign on a door and after a long while cross legged, hoping the moment will pass, I take the plunge.
But I'm not there yet, so I sneak into the masculine. I do my business and hide/wait for others to leave before sneaking back out. I feel the shame on my face as I leave.
Why so sneaky? I think to myself. Is it my long hair, tied back in a cheeky pony tail? Or the two increasingly obvious bumps on my chest? The earrings? The light lip gloss? The tight shirt and sweater?
Today was a different story. Shopping in the city. A few too many coffees. I'd been ma'am'd already and I was feeling much better about everything. Even had a male stand to give me his seat on the tram, but being female isn't an enfeeblement, so I remained standing. So today I wasn't going to sneak and hide in the gents.
Today I would take my rightful seat... in the ladies!! (perhaps with some sneaking and hiding)