Is your thinking, writing, from a feminine brain? (Trigger warning)

[AnneB]

I couldn't really think of a better title, but, what I mean is...

When you write, type, speak, think... emote, is it in a feminine style?  If you wrote an essay, on .. well, really on anything, if it was placed alongside a cisfemales paper, would it sound the same, be in the same emotional range?  I guess what I am asking..  being a female, born into, or "trapped" in the wrong body type, do you write with a female heart, a female mind, or soul?

I have always, and I mean, always, written in a female vein, that my words, thoughts and emotions have the sappy, drippy, heartfelt weepy descriptive emotions and images that (to me anyway) cisfemales have and display in their writing style.   Yes, I have seen some females styles that can pigeonhole them as somewhere between roller derby team members or dockyard, construction workers (absolutely no offence meant by that!), just as some cisfemales styles can conjure images of Cinderella, balls/galas and glass slippers.

What brought this on?  One of the points in my ... " I AM trans/female" argument arsenal that I have to use with my family, is that from the age I knew what paper was, my thoughts that make it from my brain, thru the pencil, pen, or keyboard to here, have always had a (I think) fem style and emotion to them.  I do not believe I have ever written in the .. blocky, grunting, kill-the-T-Rex and drag it back to the cave, Shrek-style that (it seems) most cismales have (again, I think). 

When I finally let Paula out, and told my family, mom, sister and cousins... I asked this very question of each.  In all the writings I have done since.. well, since forever.. When you read them, did it read as coming from a male heart, and mind, or was it more expressive, as if a female penned it?

Yes, I know, there are males that can emote as well as Nora Ephron, Fannie Flagg, or Mona Simpson, but honestly, how many have the mind we have, and think and write consistently...  I hope you understand what I mean... Maybe to sum it up:

Can anyone point to your writing and say "this is from a females brain" ?  Maybe I am just grasping for more evidence, or justification, I do not believe I am, but then, I've been told that my decisions may not be entirely sound   *giggles*   

This past week, I came out to 15 of my female friends, 12 of which, say I have their unconditional love and support, 3 I haven't heard from yet..  But of the 12, each has said, they have only thought of me as female, and have seen it in my heart, in my posts, and in my emotions, which, in a way, is what lead to this post..  Along with

(and here is where the warning comes in)

some of the threads are (I am so sorry) seem written by guys brains.  Does it seem that the girls who write, with true female conviction, emotion, and spirit, are, maybe those who have been here for a while (senior mamas), suggesting, either, it could be environmental, having either adopted cisfem styles or they have their own cis brains.   Those that are .. a bit.. less so, appear to be the younger, newer girls.    I mean zero disrespect.  I am heartbroken if it causes any pain, or trigger, I hope I am the only one seeing this..  Really, I want to just understand if this is either taught, acquired, or innate.

Maybe I should just stop..

Mods, if this is just.. too... feel free to remove it..

Paula

[Jess42]

I just really can't tell what is feminine writing or masculine writing. Sorry but I really can't see the differences. I think I know what you're talking about though and personally I believe it is just the way some people write no matter the gender. Some ciswomen I have seen write things down with no emotion or little to no useful information whatsoever and I have seen some cisguys write too much information with emotion. I think I kind of get the gist of what your saying. But it's interesting though. I start thinking back to school days and I was always in the advanced English classes that had a little more composition to it than the normal classes, even though it may not seem like it now.

[Jessica Merriman]

I totally get where you are coming from. I for one can get a feel for a person and pretty accurately a feel for who they are by their writings. There just seems to be a personality identifiable with different writing styles, words, descriptions and other things. Whether it is the product of being raised in a certain area, socialization norms or otherwise I could not say. I do see how words are our written thoughts and show how we are geared in the thought process which is tied to our true selves internally. I need an aspirin now, too many big words in my reply, eeck! 

[Auroramarianna]

That's very veryyyy subjective.

I think I write with a "female brain" because ultimately that's who I am, so if I am female, my brain must be female too, right?

There's actually website where you can analyze pieces of your writing (with more than 300 words)  and see if it comes in a "female" or "male" style http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.php#Analyze

I find it a bit sexist, it's very appropriating. The people who created gender guesser claim that it is accurate about 60-70% of time, and I have tested and checked pieces of writing from men and women, and there were lots who came in the wrong gender. So I really don't know.

It's so hard to distinguish such thing, it's too conceptual, variable and subjective. Just because I perceive my writing to be feminine and Gender Guesser validates my belief doesn't mean other people see in the way I see myself.

[AnneB]

Thanks Jesse, I agree, there are cisfemales that have little or no descriptive styles, or you could not really tell fem from masc papers..  I was just thinking, wondering, if we saw in ourselves, a particular fem, or masculine style.. I am curious to, maybe, have  a f2m answer, if they notice any specific instance, or example of styles.  But yes, I agree, there are those that just don't have a gender-based style, one way or the other.

[suzifrommd]

I've always assumed my stuff looks obviously male. I've been told by people here that, no, my stuff seemed female. But maybe they were just trying to humor me.

[AnneB]

Sorry for the headache Jessica.

And Aurora, I had not seen that website, I will have to try it out..  As for being subjective, yes, I agree, it's just one thing that I have noticed, and again, there are cis males that can emote right alongside the best female writers, just as there are females that write like Popeye or Brutus rather than Oliveoyl.  So I get it, I just wondered if others, saw gender in writing.

Suzi, first off, straying a bit here..  how are you doing, hon?  I've been thinking about you for a while, hoping, that you are really better, and able to get around as you want to! 
Secondly, as you said, others here have seen the fem in your style, I have too, I was  wondering, if those that are outside, whether you are out to them or not, to them, do they see a particular or gender-based emotive style. 

As Aurora said, it is subjective, and would need to be asked, by even a third party, if someone's style is fem or masc.

[Kaylin Kumiho]

Idk, I do a lot of writing and role playing elsewhere, and the one thing I've always gotten a lot of, even before my online friends new my true gender, was that I write 'like a girl'. I can kinda see it too, a lot of the writing I do with guys, their stuff is kinda procedural and more action oriented, while I tend to focus more on emotional states, how my characters or I felt, and just generally spend more time in my character's head.

[Jess42]

Thanks Jesse, I agree, there are cisfemales that have little or no descriptive styles, or you could not really tell fem from masc papers..  I was just thinking, wondering, if we saw in ourselves, a particular fem, or masculine style.. I am curious to, maybe, have  a f2m answer, if they notice any specific instance, or example of styles.  But yes, I agree, there are those that just don't have a gender-based style, one way or the other.

You know, I think I get more of what you are saying. You made me think a little today. I do have a tendency to go on and on. A lot you can see here on the forums. I have also been told that I talk more than a woman by women. And that I gab more than a woman by men. So you may indeed be onto something.

I totally get where you are coming from. I for one can get a feel for a person and pretty accurately a feel for who they are by their writings. There just seems to be a personality identifiable with different writing styles, words, descriptions and other things. Whether it is the product of being raised in a certain area, socialization norms or otherwise I could not say. I do see how words are our written thoughts and show how we are geared in the thought process which is tied to our true selves internally. I need an aspirin now, too many big words in my reply, eeck! 

An as an example, just like Jessica here. I go on and on and on. Just kidding Jessica. And some really good points.

But I see what you mean Paula and would really be interested to hear from the FTM and how they write but also talk too.

[Auroramarianna]

Sorry for the headache Jessica.

And Aurora, I had not seen that website, I will have to try it out..  As for being subjective, yes, I agree, it's just one thing that I have noticed, and again, there are cis males that can emote right alongside the best female writers, just as there are females that write like Popeye or Brutus rather than Oliveoyl.  So I get it, I just wondered if others, saw gender in writing.

Yes, I'm not critizcizing you, I just believe that it is more a grey-area, a spectrum with lots of possibilities Sometimes it's easy to tell, but not so much because of the writing itself, more because of the topics concerned

To say I write with a "female brain" would imply I know how a female brain works, and I don't, because all female brains are different, so there is no exact female brain. I could I say I write in a feminine way, but only because of social roles and constructs and even then, it is subjective. Same with masculine writing and style.

However, I have always had a prettier handwriting and I have been associated with femminity due to this, among other things. But I believe there's no right way to write like a female or like a male.

[Jess42]

You know, it may be less about writing but just communication in general as more feminine or masculine ways.

[AnneB]

Kaylin! I have been mmorpg-ing for the last.. Oh.. 7 or 8 years, with close to... 6 or 7 days of it, playing as  a male..  .  One particular instance, while In fem mode on a Disney site... One of the girls playing alongside, was relating (still don't know how it got past the filters) how she was being abused by someone, well, myself, and another plater with us, we fell instantly into protective mom role and got her to get out, to somewhere safe...  It wasn't at that moment, or even in the place she was, at that moment (was not playing while in the unsafe place), but I was so completely in protective mom mode that I startled myself.  Being online, or here, or.. Really anywhere, I am in fem mode...  all the time, so female writing/emoting style, for me, just seems so... normal.

Jesse! I think, you have really identified it... communication, but in guess that is what I was thinking of, without really naming it.  Thanks, you did.

Aurora, that's really,what I mean I think... A more feminine, softer style, Jesse named it, while I could not..  It is feminine communication, not just a style, I was thinking of.   <3

[Auroramarianna]

Kaylin! I have been mmorpg-ing for the last.. Oh.. 7 or 8 years, with close to... 6 or 7 days of it, playing as  a male..  .  One particular instance, while In fem mode on a Disney site... One of the girls playing alongside, was relating (still don't know how it got past the filters) how she was being abused by someone, well, myself, and another plater with us, we fell instantly into protective mom role and got her to get out, to somewhere safe...  It wasn't at that moment, or even in the place she was, at that moment (was not playing while in the unsafe place), but I was so completely in protective mom mode that I startled myself.  Being online, or here, or.. Really anywhere, I am in fem mode...  all the time, so female writing/emoting style, for me, just seems so... normal.

Exactly. Do not count on a Gender Guesser to tell you know yourself to be already, and it feels natural to you because it's who you are, and even if your writing or talking was masculine which you don't think so, it wouldn't make you any less of a female.

[ZoeM]

I'm always annoyed by how little I write - one or two sentence replies while everyone else is penning paragraphs - but I do all my Susan's contributions on a phone so maybe I have an excuse?
Anyway - in my longer-form writing (read: novel!), I do focus a lot on characters' thoughts and less on their actions. So I feel like I'm vindicated even if my online writing is terse to the point of comedy.

That and, I can remember even back when I was twelve-ish, some folks I was playing games with thought I was a girl just because of how I communicated in chat. At the time I was inwardly quite pleased with myself, but didn't say anything.

[AnneB]

ikr!!   Like the "What is your true gender?" online tests, there only for the entertainment value.  I know who, and what I am inside, and am fixing the outside to match.  Those tests, quizzes, like the "Which Disney Charator Are You"  on FB, are just for fun, but in a small way,the a Gender Guesser, may show communication skills (as Jesse named it) more than anything. 

Last week, I had two days, where I spent. 4-7 hrs with a couple friends, coming out to one (the 7hr block)  saying, "my wife said I can't possibly be female, as I don't talk much at all. Women speak an average of (think it was) 20,000 words a day,  you use 2000!"   To which I whispered "well, only to you"

But to the cis female friend I came out to, ... I used 20000 words in the first half hour we spoke! 
So it really is more communication skills, than style I think, or I am finding..  So, it's all good.  Everyone has their own style.. 

What would be an interesting poll... In this very same vein, "do you write/emote more now on hormones than before them" implying that they (hormones) may or may not influence more open communication.  Imagine the possibilities!  Or consequences 

[Jenna Marie]

Mostly I just want to second Aurora about everything, especially socialization and stereotypes. And a site that's right only slightly more often than a coin flip is not actually reliable, either.

I'm a very emotional person, and I'm told my private writing reflects that. However, my professional writing does tend to be spare and elegant rather than florid and emotional. I guess that means I write like a man for pay?! But realistically, I'm also with Aurora that I ae a woman, so this is a woman's writing.

[Eva Marie]

I don't know if my writing style comes across as masculine or feminine but I do know one thing - there are a lot more words in my head now since I started HRT lol... I write long multi-page letters now whereas before it was a struggle to even write a single page.

[Chloevixen]

All of my writings for my entire adult life had to be from a neutral, or male style.  Learning how to write as my true self has been a interesting experience.  Most of the time I get frustrated when what I mean does not come out as how I think it in my head.  Speaking has always been my stronger medium.  Even when I was trying to be male people would call me ma'am on the phone.  It could be dangerous at work when someone would call back and ask to talk to me. 

[Jess42]

Jesse! I think, you have really identified it... communication, but in guess that is what I was thinking of, without really naming it.  Thanks, you did.

Aurora, that's really,what I mean I think... A more feminine, softer style, Jesse named it, while I could not..  It is feminine communication, not just a style, I was thinking of.   <3

Yeah. I really think its more of a communication/interaction thing than writing alone. Most guys can be in groups of two or more and just say, 'S'up man?" and give an answer and be done with and spend the rest of the time not saying another word. There are exceptions but it is fairly limited to sports, hunting cars, women or so on but usually stays on the subject. Put two women together and they will chat the whole time about a lot of different things all over the board. I see this a lot in smoking areas when people go on breaks.

[RachelH]

However, I have always had a prettier handwriting and I have been associated with femminity due to this, among other things. But I believe there's no right way to write like a female or like a male.

I definitely believe this. In my work as an engineer all my work requires  third party and logical prose, and some of that leaks into my normal writing styles.  However, I wouldn't say the way I write was any different to any other women that are in scientific/engineering careers.  Although, you can immediately identify some writing as mine or the other woman I work with in my department, as you can actually read our cursive clear handwriting, rather then the cold block capital scribbles the guys do!