When to change your name

Jumpingjacks · July 26, 2014, 12:56:22 PM

These questions are mainly directed at people who are changing both name and gender on legal documents.

I'm 19 now and I really want to change my name legally before I graduate college. First, I was thinking it is better to change your name when you are younger, because you have fewer documents to change, and it will not be a hassle later in life. Do you think this is sound reasoning?

Or, do you think it's a better idea to wait until after you have had surgery and change your name and gender marker at the same time? Or is that even possible?

mrs izzy · July 26, 2014, 01:01:30 PM

I would suggest doing it when you are getting ready to go full time.

That way you can start as your new name and gender if it can be changed pre GCS.

suzifrommd · July 26, 2014, 01:19:43 PM

I wouldn't wait until surgery. If you're presenting as your new gender, you'll pretty quickly want a name that matches.

LordKAT · July 26, 2014, 02:41:15 PM

Changing it before graduating from college has numerous benefits. Do you plan on starting HRT and possibly some surgery while in college?

Sabine · July 26, 2014, 04:44:59 PM

I agree with the others, when you are starting to go full time and the earlier the better. I think you'll have fewer hassles day to day and your credit history will start in that name earlier. Leaving college you are starting a fresh page in life, so this is a perfect time -- and your college records will be in the new name as well!

Jumpingjacks · July 26, 2014, 06:15:08 PM

Thanks for your replies everyone. I probably should have said in the original post, in the state where I live you do need surgery to get your gender marker changed, which is a few years down the road for me. So that's why I was wondering. But I am pretty much full time and have been going by my new name for about a year, it's just not legally changed yet. I hate bureaucracy, but I will probably go ahead and change it soon

mrs izzy · July 26, 2014, 06:27:47 PM

Quote from: Jumpingjacks on July 26, 2014, 06:15:08 PM
Thanks for your replies everyone. I probably should have said in the original post, in the state where I live you do need surgery to get your gender marker changed, which is a few years down the road for me. So that's why I was wondering. But I am pretty much full time and have been going by my new name for about a year, it's just not legally changed yet. I hate bureaucracy, but I will probably go ahead and change it soon

Then I would say now is a good time. You could also get your passport/pass card done with your marker changed if your Doctor fills out a letter that fits there requirements.

Izzy

Juliett · July 29, 2014, 12:50:03 PM

When I had my name change done, I simply gave a very kind lawyer a few hundred dollars which included the court fees. He filled all the paperwork, arranged the paper notice and everything. A few weeks later I had brand new birth certificate and social security card with my new name. I went and did the drivers licence myself since that was easy, but he would have done that as well for a small fee. It was easy and hassle free and worth every penny.

And yes, I would advise you to change your name as soon as possible. Don't worry about the gender thing for now. If you're passing, people won't even look at it.

JLT1 · July 29, 2014, 02:20:06 PM

I did name before gender. Not a big issue. But years seems a little long...

Hugs,

Jen

Khalysta · July 31, 2014, 04:30:49 AM

Definitely do it as you start to go full time. Doing it before you get out of college also sets you up for not having to do it at work and you don't have to deal with name mismatches on a transcript. The older you get the more things you acquire too which in turn need updating.

I'm in that weird spot right now where at work I am like two people and it gets confusing since we have multiple offices. So one office has everything right while the work directory has my old name since work is waiting on the official documents to update payroll, etc. Then on top of that there is the drivers license mismatch, doctors office mismatches, it can all get quite frustrating. Not to mention I have to explain this and get my car title, home loans, etc all changed as well.

If you are serious about it, I would just get the paperwork ready and make the switch between semesters. So with a little preparation you can switch pretty painlessly.

Misato · July 31, 2014, 06:05:50 AM

When you're ready, that's when you change the name.

I talked to a married woman who changed her name and she, like me, had a tough time dealing with losing that marker of her identity.

You're going to be letting go of the you you've known and becoming someone new. That can be wonderful and upsetting. Go for it when you're ready.

<3

LizMarie · August 09, 2014, 03:35:40 PM

It's not all that simple.

First, get your name to match you once you are full time. Just do it. You'll be less self-conscious.

Second, depending on state, you may be able to change your gender marker on certain documents. For example, here in Texas we can now get driver's license updated without surgery, just a court order.

Also, with a letter (I think from your therapist but maybe from your doctor, I have to go check to be sure), you can get a new US passport with correct gender and also update your Social Security records, all before surgery.

It's the birth certificates that cause the most issues for most people and those vary widely by state. Some refuse to allow any changes at all, like Ohio (so glad mom drove across the river to have me in Wheeling, West Virginia now!!). Others, like California, allow the birth certificate to be amended with just a letter. And most still require GRS (or SRS if you prefer that term).

wolfduality · August 09, 2014, 09:13:32 PM

The general consensus is before surgery but after you start doing full time. You can do it when you want but it makes it easier to do it sooner especially if you are young and haven't completed your degree yet.

Chamillion · August 10, 2014, 05:15:00 AM

Definitely change your name asap, it's a lot more important than the gender marker. It's good to change your name when you're young, it's a lot easier if all your work experience is under one name, your degree will have the right name, etc. Plus it's just awkward as hell to have a name that doesn't match with what you look like. Everyone sees your name but the gender marker doesn't really come up much. Actually I haven't even changed mine yet, I got an M on my license when I changed my name 5+ years ago but that's it, social security and everything still hasn't been changed. It hasn't created an issue for me yet...

tgchar21 · August 10, 2014, 09:13:20 AM

Quote from: Chamillion on August 10, 2014, 05:15:00 AM
Definitely change your name asap, it's a lot more important than the gender marker. It's good to change your name when you're young, it's a lot easier if all your work experience is under one name, your degree will have the right name, etc. Plus it's just awkward as hell to have a name that doesn't match with what you look like. Everyone sees your name but the gender marker doesn't really come up much. Actually I haven't even changed mine yet, I got an M on my license when I changed my name 5+ years ago but that's it, social security and everything still hasn't been changed. It hasn't created an issue for me yet...

I've said something similar for those who are still in school, etc. My suggestion is if you want to make sure your diploma has the right name on it and your records are updated, but don't want to come out to classmates until graduation, is to do a "senior year" name change and see if your school can do a "reverse preferred name" (keeping your old name as the one seen on lists like how a usual preferred name would work) after the legal change until you graduate.

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When to change your name