Oh gawd our community really needs to go critical mass.

[Evelyn K]

With all the productive dialogue we see here on susans it's a crying shame that we're still basically corralled in our insulated bubble.

I think the dynamic would change if "transgendered topics" where explored in grade school curricula such as junior high sex ed. Actually aren't gay and lesbian topics covered these days? I wouldn't know, it's been awhile.

But there's no signal in the noise for people to latch on to like the gay and lesbian community has done with their message. Does the phrase - "out of sight, out of mind." So to our siblings, friends and coworkers who learn about us being "trans" - and from no one other than ourselves - we appear like the lone "man overboard!" off the cruise ship needing to be rescued and processed. Unbeknownst to them the reality is we're quite a handful of people on upper deck just dancing the night away with the others. We're not a rare minority of extremists or social vanguard. There's no need to pity or psychologize us. We're a large and growing group and we need you to know we're getting along fine.

Our problems with acceptance amounts to purely ignorance, an unfortunate consequence of being uninformed. People fear and mock what they don't understand.

Education is key, but not many (or enough) envoys in our midst, so perhaps we need a pilgrimage on Washington? Make a few demands on education? Either way I don't see this situation changing, at least until the old school of thought is out and new school is in. And that I believe, begins with our children.

[suzifrommd]

Evelyn, I totally agree.

I would also like to see a change in mass media (since that's where people get most of their information). Realistic portrayals of trans people living realistic lives. Well-adjusted trans characters playing ordinary parts in movies and TV shows.

That would go a long way to demystify us and take away the sensationalism.

[Miyuki]

Absolutely, totally, 100% agreed. I've been saying all along that the unrealistic portrayals of transgender people in the media and the lack of discussion of transgender topics in sexual education class were a huge part of the reason it took me so long to realize I was transgender. I mean, if even one person in grade school had clearly explained to me that being transgender meant that you weren't comfortable with your gender identity (nothing to do with sexuality), and explained what you can do to transition and what sort of results you could expect, it would have saved me from nearly 15 years of misery.

[JoanneB]

Up until the very recent present "Out of sight out of mind" was and still is the ideal. How many instances of "Stealth" topics can you find here on Susans? Sadly, one has to wonder how many of the TDOR statistics are the result of out in the open to in your face trans people being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

On several occasions in the years leading to the passage in Maryland of a TG Rights bill I attended the Senate hearings. One could not help but to wonder how many times between the panel members and especially with the loyal opposition (aka bathroom nutz) were in a rest room or otherwise crossed paths with a trans-woman and had no clue they did?

A good place to start is with the LGB community itself where T is for token. Stonewall occurred during my early teens. To this day we are still not really accepted by them. I love reminding people it were the ->-bleeped-<-s that threw the first punches at the cops. After that they wanted nothing to do with T's and still really don't it seems.

A gay rights bill passed the Maryland Senate and was signed into law years before the trans rights bill. Behind the scenes negotiations got trans issues written out. In essence the LGB(T) block threw the T's under the bus. So much for solidarity.

I am very glad to see trans people being shown in a more positive light then in the dark past of Jerry Springer days. However, the new media never misses an opportunity to sensationalize and titillate any story with a trans (specifically MTF). Oh, I mean any story short of beatings or killings of an MTF which are obviously OK in their minds, no real news. Nothing to see here just keep moving.

[Eva Marie]

I totally agree Evelyn.

In amongst all of the bad things I see positive change occurring for us too. Laverne Cox on the cover of time magazine. Trans people getting elected to political positions. More positive articles about us in the media, and a growing awareness in the media of the proper way to report on trans issues. Our kids are leading the way with their acceptance. More and more equality laws being passed, and the old bigoted generation is slowly dying off. It just takes time.

10 years ago where we are today would have seemed unfathomable. 10 years from now I think that where we are today will seem like a distant, bad memory. Our progress is going to happen in internet time.

What we do as individuals helps our cause. Just being yourself out and about in the world helps people see that we are pretty much like everyone else and that we pose no threat to anyone. My own transition will be highly visible in my company and that's OK with me; since I will be very visible I am going to take the chance to educate the people around me. They will see that I am just a normal female going about my business and hopefully I can influence what they think about us going forward.

Many hands make light work.

[YinYanga]

I don't know, I feel pretty uncomfy with a lot of spotlights/sensation. Its not a trend/fad and I wouldnt like to be a postergirl for that

It's hard to balance visibility and privacy for me

[Suziack]

With all the productive dialogue we see here on susans it's a crying shame that we're still basically corralled in our insulated bubble.

I think the dynamic would change if "transgendered topics" where explored in grade school curricula such as junior high sex ed. Actually aren't gay and lesbian topics covered these days? I wouldn't know, it's been awhile.

But there's no signal in the noise for people to latch on to like the gay and lesbian community has done with their message. Does the phrase - "out of sight, out of mind." So to our siblings, friends and coworkers who learn about us being "trans" - and from no one other than ourselves - we appear like the lone "man overboard!" off the cruise ship needing to be rescued and processed. Unbeknownst to them the reality is we're quite a handful of people on upper deck just dancing the night away with the others. We're not a rare minority of extremists or social vanguard. There's no need to pity or psychologize us. We're a large and growing group and we need you to know we're getting along fine.

Our problems with acceptance amounts to purely ignorance, an unfortunate consequence of being uninformed. People fear and mock what they don't understand.

Education is key, but not many (or enough) envoys in our midst, so perhaps we need a pilgrimage on Washington? Make a few demands on education? Either way I don't see this situation changing, at least until the old school of thought is out and new school is in. And that I believe, begins with our children.

Speaking to the first sentences, maybe it's because humans have an innate need to belong to a group that has a shared sense of experiences. How many people/groups could possibly have a lifetime of experiences that result from being TG'd? While on a whole the GL community at some point in time must of had some semblance of experiences, those experiences were and still are framed so objectively and subjectively differently that, if my understanding is correct, TGs are largely still unaccepted. It would seem that prejudice still rules the day, but I don't think it can all be blamed on ignorance. People can know that an attitude is wrong, be informed enough about subject, and still be prejudiced simply because they choose to be.

On the other hand, just as Eva Maries posts, as more and more people are becoming educated, the scales are tipping and that pervasive attitude will someday become so unacceptable that it will erode into history, just as many others already have.

"Psychologize"?

[Oriah]

I think the dynamic would change if "transgendered topics" where explored in grade school curricula...

...an unfortunate consequence of being uninformed.

being uninformed is unfortunate, but common, even among the transgender population.  Just an example:

Transgender is an adjective, not a verb.  Because it is not an action, there is no past tense for transgender, thus "transgendered" isn't a word.    The -ed indicates past tense, which in context doesn't make sense.  Saying "I got transgendered so hard last night!" doesn't work. 

This is just one example.  The educating has to start from within "the community" and spread outward.

[Tysilio]

Oriah, there are many adjectives ending in -ed which aren't derived from verbs:

-- varigated foliage
-- abscessed tooth
-- figured maple
-- spotted owl
-- bubbleheaded blonde (sorry, couldn't resist... :blush:)

So "transgendered" is just fine.

[Nicolette]

Being transgender is very rare. If you're proportionally representing transgender individuals in tv and film then every xth (whatever the proportion is) or so character would be transgender, unless you skew it. It's quite tempting to want to overstate the presence and numbers who are transgender. Too much media coverage and you risk a backlash. Push only as much as it will give and you will eventually reach your goals, although not as fast as some would like.

[YinYanga]

I am having the same opinion about it Nicolette...too easy to either pay too much or pay no attention to it. We'll just have to accept it'll remain a delicate issue that needs (more) time

[Evelyn K]

Evelyn, I totally agree.

I would also like to see a change in mass media (since that's where people get most of their information). Realistic portrayals of trans people living realistic lives. Well-adjusted trans characters playing ordinary parts in movies and TV shows.

That would go a long way to demystify us and take away the sensationalism.

You might have already caught word of it, there is a new sitcom series starring transgendered actors and actresses slated for production in Canada.

The Switch



Might be interesting to see how it's received in the states (and internationally).

[Kaylin Kumiho]

They actually filmed the first episode of that, like as a promo for it. I think there was a link on Autostraddle?

It seemed okay... I mean I've never really been a huge comedy fan. It felt a little forced in spots, but it was pretty enjoyable in others so idk... it would be neat if it actually got some traction

EDIT: Here is the link to the 'Test Pilot Episode'

[Evelyn K]

Up until the very recent present "Out of sight out of mind" was and still is the ideal. How many instances of "Stealth" topics can you find here on Susans? Sadly, one has to wonder how many of the TDOR statistics are the result of out in the open to in your face trans people being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

On several occasions in the years leading to the passage in Maryland of a TG Rights bill I attended the Senate hearings. One could not help but to wonder how many times between the panel members and especially with the loyal opposition (aka bathroom nutz) were in a rest room or otherwise crossed paths with a trans-woman and had no clue they did?

A good place to start is with the LGB community itself where T is for token. Stonewall occurred during my early teens. To this day we are still not really accepted by them. I love reminding people it were the ->-bleeped-<-s that threw the first punches at the cops. After that they wanted nothing to do with T's and still really don't it seems.

A gay rights bill passed the Maryland Senate and was signed into law years before the trans rights bill. Behind the scenes negotiations got trans issues written out. In essence the LGB(T) block threw the T's under the bus. So much for solidarity.

I am very glad to see trans people being shown in a more positive light then in the dark past of Jerry Springer days. However, the new media never misses an opportunity to sensationalize and titillate any story with a trans (specifically MTF). Oh, I mean any story short of beatings or killings of an MTF which are obviously OK in their minds, no real news. Nothing to see here just keep moving.

Yeah just goes to show how entrenched patriarchy society is; an underlying belief that a man who trades his masculinity is a ripe for ridicule and a public stoning. If this was a matriarchy society, I wonder if the stigma would be reversed?

[Evelyn K]

Speaking to the first sentences, maybe it's because humans have an innate need to belong to a group that has a shared sense of experiences. How many people/groups could possibly have a lifetime of experiences that result from being TG'd? While on a whole the GL community at some point in time must of had some semblance of experiences, those experiences were and still are framed so objectively and subjectively differently that, if my understanding is correct, TGs are largely still unaccepted. It would seem that prejudice still rules the day, but I don't think it can all be blamed on ignorance. People can know that an attitude is wrong, be informed enough about subject, and still be prejudiced simply because they choose to be.

On the other hand, just as Eva Maries posts, as more and more people are becoming educated, the scales are tipping and that pervasive attitude will someday become so unacceptable that it will erode into history, just as many others already have.

"Psychologize"?

I'd posit prejudice and ignorance go hand in hand, but you're right. Prejudice does rule the day. There's certainly a lot more acceptance of lesbians than gays who are, for instance, showing affection for each other openly in public.

I would say the LGBT lexicon and our representation within is only a stepping stone.

Psychologize is an Evelyn-ism As in trying to be an armchair psychiatrist examining someone.

[Evelyn K]

I don't know, I feel pretty uncomfy with a lot of spotlights/sensation. Its not a trend/fad and I wouldnt like to be a postergirl for that

It's hard to balance visibility and privacy for me

Just think in the 80's gays and lesbians where thinking the same thing.

[Jera]

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,170017.msg1481599.html#msg1481599 - That article got me thinking about this thread.

Too many are interested in church to make themselves feel special, IMHO. I see more interest in people discovering, somehow, that God really cares about them as individuals, and has "chosen" them over the rest of humanity, rather than an actual interest in taking what they can from religious teachings to live a better life. Unfortunately, it is far easier to elevate yourself, to feel superior, by denigrating others than actual self-improvement. And it is much, much easier to disparage what you do not understand. Once that is done, it is easy to point at those disparaged and say "They are so much worse than me, so I must be good by comparison."

It is far more difficult to disparage what you know, and what is dear to you. So the way forward is, I think, what I see in this article. Though I think this acceptance applies more to LGB than to T, several of the members have been exposed to gay members of their family or community, and find they can still love them as people. LGBs have paved the way, but there is a long way to go.

It's not really a critical mass of our own community we need, I think, but a critical mass of those close to us who do love and accept us. It's from them the seeds of change will spread.

There are fewer of us, so it will still take some time. But as the trans community begins to becomes more visible in the coming years, we need to make a deliberate effort on our part to be people to be loved, and not hated. Show that no matter what they may throw at us, we still love our families, friends, and communities just as much as they do. The acceptance of society will follow after the love of our families, who then share their acceptance with the rest of their churches, social networks, and communities.

[Lady_Oracle]

We just need awesome allies, we can't win the battle against ignorance without them. I think that's the biggest issue here. The Obama administration support's trans rights. That's the biggest ally we could have right there. We as individuals have to be more vocal in the political system to change the laws for the better in our states. Start changing public opinion through education and being more proactive in our communities. You don't have to necessarily be an activist, just do what you can. Simply having a conversation can make the world of a difference, for a person's perception of the trans community.

[Janae]

The really sad part is that cis privilege allows people to live in a bubble in terms of not having to worry about trans issues. I agree with the trans education being taught in school along with sex ed. If it were I'd probably have come to terms about what I was early and it would have saved me a lot of time. It just doesn't occur to people that there are kids & teens out here that are trans or trans questioning. It's very taxing to be that age and having to navigate those early feelings in addition to body changes and the process of being a teen in school.

I think that things have shifted greatly just in the last 5 yrs. If someone told me a trans actress of color would be on a popular show and the cover of TIME magazine I'd have never believed it. When I was growing up all I saw was the Jerry Springer train wreaks. I never even thought I'd see a trans child on a tv special with Barbra Walters surrounded by a supportive family. 

To me things aren't going fast enough. I'm just itching for ENDA to pass in full, for all trans surgeries to be taken seriously and be covered by major insurance companies, and for full federal protections for trans people.

I think attitudes are changing, but slowly. Here in my city in just the past 6 mos 3 trans women of color have been murdered. I knew one of them. She was shot in her home and left for dead. The most recent was the sister of a NBA player. She was killed and left in a field. No arrests have been made in any of the cases. These are the types of things that I'm tired of hearing about. People just don't  care as much because to them, and the tone that's being put out there, is that they were all escorts or were "tricking men" so they got what they deserved. We have a very bad reputation when it comes to people reporting crimes as well as providing descriptions and witness intimidation, all this only adds to the problems we face. And here in my city it's always trans women of color who are being murdered. We face higher murder rates than other trans women. This is very scary when I think about how small the community is here. Something needs to be done about this.

[Lady_Oracle]

Agreed as a trans woman of color, I have to get involved in activism at some point. I feel a deep wound in my heart every time I hear a transwoman has been murdered/assaulted. It makes me cringe, like what is wrong with people!?