warning, this whole post here is trigger warning, read at you own risk.
Quote from: jeninindiana on August 16, 2014, 09:15:14 AM
i feel bad if anything I said made you feel sad or mad or jealous or any negative way there are positive aspects to being able to just sit back and let someone else do the work focus on the positives in a situation where you can have biological children without the problems of pregnancy it wont effect your work or your life focus on the positives in your situation and the pains and discomfort you will not have to go through . and I think that is just a very natural feeling for all human beings in general and no matter their gender of even their ability to have children may be jealous of a woman who is pregnant at the time but consider it is only for nine months and it might help to focus on the negative aspects of being pregnant and just be happy that you don't have to go through 9 months of hell and just focus your attention on that and make a concentrated effort to focus on all the negatives and not the positives of any experience to reduce that feeling you might have but like above poster commented there are many already born children needing homes too but for those who desire to have a biological child I think that's completely natural and understandable and very possible to do that through ivf and using different methods to preserve your ability to reproduce but really there is a long list of very real negative aspects of pregnancy that you can feel lucky that you do not have to go through .
Apologies if I get anything wrong or you take offense to what I'm saying or anything negative at all. I'm usually not riled up and trying to keep emotions in check here, this topic just hit a VERY sensitive nerve for me and I do not expect anyone who isn't trans or who can have kids/get pregnant to understand how I feel. Which from what I've read in this thread it doesn't sound like you're trans (Apologies if I'm mistaken) and that you can get pregnant. (Going off of your 1st post here) So I don't expect you to understand, sure it's "nice" to look at the positives and sure it's a good thing to try and focus on the positives and while you say "just be thankful I don't have to go through 9 months of hell" or "deal with any medical problems associated with pregnancy", that in and of itself is something that FURTHER tics me off on this topic. You DON'T understand just how far a trans person is willing to go because of how they feel, if there was a way I and most trans people could have children through becoming pregnant and giving birth and we could afford/get treatment done then, we'd do it odds are. (Similar for trans men but they'd get a woman pregnant if they could) Further more, the reason why those two bolded lines really got to me in your quote is because you don't understand.. Do you not think we'd put up with the pain, 9 months of hell as you put it and any/all possible health related issues from it? Of course we would because we WANT to have our own children through this way. Hell, I'd put up with a period if it meant I could have kids and, I don't like pain fyi. Sure looking at some of the examples of it not affecting my work/life and such is a positive for those who can get pregnant/aren't trans but to me, that's a downside because for one to think like that in a way is selfish and for two, I WANT to go through all pregnancy comes with. (Though yeah I wouldn't want any complications arising from it)
For me, I cannot LOOK at the positives here, only the what is the case, what isn't the case and I see only negatives because of how I was born. If I turn toward God/a god then, it ticks me off how he/they made me when they didn't have to make me this way, if I turn toward this was done by nature and not some God/god then, I can rage and be furious toward nature itself for denying me what SHOULD HAVE BEEN! I don't expect you to understand unless you're going through what I am going through and if I read your first post right and you're saying you're willing to become pregnant and give birth to the child and turn the child over to the trans mother then, that is great of you to do! That is truly wonderful and awesome and the world needs more people like that out there. Nothing in your 1st post bothered me, it was the OP post's link to that article that triggered me. The above quoted post is a different story though but I get you didn't mean to and don't understand, just please be more careful with your words in the future when talking to/posting to a trans person is all I ask, and, no worries. Oh and lastly, yes I realize adoption is something that is an option, but it's not the same thing.. (Best I not get onto the topic of adoption though)
