The clothes from your previous life, and how you felt when you gave them away

[Julia-Madrid]

Since I took the decision to transition a few months ago I have been replacing one wardrobe with another, and this has left me with a lot of beautiful clothes I can no longer wear.  At 162cm and of slight build there are not many people in my circle who are similar, but by coincidence, two of my ex-boyfriends are almost my size.

Some weeks ago S. came round and left with 6 winter coats and summer jackets.  And today after dinner with M., he found around 25 shirts he liked, and some of them make him look wonderful. 

Particularly tonight, working through 15 years of clothes (I look after them!) was a rather poignant experience.  I don't miss them, and shall not miss them, but they brought back many memories - shopping for them with my ex-wife; the heat of Spanish coastal towns in summer; vacations in France and the USA; the stewardess on a Continental flight who told me that I looked nice in a particular shirt and left me feeling bashful...  It was a little like paging through an old photo album, and a few times I had to stop myself from smelling them to see if any perfume from a special occasion remained.  Clothes define us in a very powerful way!

I am content that two very special people in my life shall benefit from my old stuff, and that from time to time I shall see them in clothes that have some important memories for me.  I am also strangely serene but also a little emotional at having been able to pass some clothing on in a more meaningful way, rather than dumping them at the parish in plastic bags.

How did it feel when you got rid of the clothes from your previous life?  What did it mean to you?

[Ms Grace]

Because I still go to my electrolysis sessions in guy mode (no way am I trying to present as female on public transport with a hairy, cactus punched, non make up face!) I still need my dude clothes every couple of weeks. I have promised my clothes to a male colleague who is as tall as me. Problem is, I'm not sure about how I will feel about seeing my clothes on someone else. It shouldn't bother me but I do feel weird about it.

[mrs izzy]

I was lucky, well not so lucky in the fact i had no choice.

My X threw all my cloths away, both M and F when i was on vacation in the local mental floor of our wonderful local hospital.

Grrr. Had some nice F cloths.

[Jessica Merriman]

It felt great to purge "his" things instead of mine for once!

[anjaq]

Hmm - I threw some things I did not like into the collection box, kept some for when I  need to do house repairs or painting the walls or something like that. The really good ones that I loved to wear, I just kept for some years and used them still. Most were rather unisex anyways, so I did not have such a huge change in wardrobe upon my days of being out - I just added some things I wanted and threw some things I disliked ...

[Monkeymel]

When I transitioned I did everything at once. Bought a new wardrobe and packed up the old. There was no switching between old and new. Most of the old shirts went to a primary school where the teacher used them as overalls for children to paint with. The smarter suits went to the local Brocki (second hand stores in Switzerland) and older clothes went for recycling. I kept a pair of trousers and shirt in case I had to present as the old me - but I never did and they went after a couple of months (I needed the space). But I know I am unusual

[anjaq]

Hmm - well to me basically it was not really like I considered all of it as new or old in terms of "me". I had some more androgynous/feminine clothing before the day I explained things to people I knew and kept most of them  because I liked them. I bought new stuff that I liked but it was not like I am anymore male or female in either of these clothes. This is what I dont completely understand - how is it that one is one person or another - male or female with just clothes? I get it, if you use exclusivley male or female clothes you are making a stastement, but in the whole area between - unisex clothing is more the norm anyways - its yourself - personality, body language, the body itself who make the difference. I was gendered female occasionally before I came out and with letting go of the charade and with hormone therapy it quickly became the norm and the misgendering became an exception, especially once I got my first laser sessions in the face and once I got my voice at least decently changed. I did not feel the need to force people into calling me Miss with clothes...

[JulieBlair]

I was lucky, well not so lucky in the fact i had no choice.

My X threw all my cloths away, both M and F when i was on vacation in the local mental floor of our wonderful local hospital.

Grrr. Had some nice F cloths.

Ain't relationships grand.  Left you with one of those lovely psych ward outfits.  Lovely.

[Sydney_NYC]

After a month of two going full time I decided to purge all my male clothes. It was so liberating for me and felt so good. I offered them to my younger brother who is the same waist size and 2 inches shorter, but he didn't want any of it and he's picky when it comes to clothes. (He is metrosexual.)

I ended up donating my old clothes to charity. I only kept unisex items like some sweatshirts and I had to keep my Doctor Who T-Shirt

[mrs izzy]

Ain't relationships grand.  Left you with one of those lovely psych ward outfits.  Lovely.

Ya that wonderful paper gown and on watch for first 48. Hrs.

But was nice a whole 7 days I did not hear her bad mouthing me. Was bliss.

[Missy~rmdlm]

Mostly it was: "How much of a tax write off can I get for donating these?"

[Just Shelly]

I don't remember getting rid of too much, though they must of gone somewhere!! I still have many shirts....I hold on to them as my boys get older. They look very good in some of my old dress shirts.

I think I get rid of more cloths now then before. I go through my closet about once every 3 months and get together a bunch of tops and jeans I don't wear anymore and donate to Goodwill.....pretty much the same place I got them originally LOL. I still have 100's of tops and 25-30 pairs of jeans and slacks though!! The one thing I don't get rid of too often is shoes!! Out of the almost 80 pairs of shoes and boots I own, I probably wear only 6-10 throughout the year. Luv luv my shoes....especially boots!!

[Felix]

I mostly was already wearing the clothing of my target gender when I transitioned, but I tried to pass on all the makeup and girly things I did have to mtf people who could hopefully make use of them. I don't remember having strong feelings about it other than a vague sense of shame that I wasn't able to cut it as a woman even with the proper accouterments. I felt good getting rid of the detritus from my attempts.

[Julia-Madrid]

I mostly was already wearing the clothing of my target gender when I transitioned, but I tried to pass on all the makeup and girly things I did have to mtf people who could hopefully make use of them. I don't remember having strong feelings about it other than a vague sense of shame that I wasn't able to cut it as a woman even with the proper accouterments. I felt good getting rid of the detritus from my attempts.

That's a really interesting description of how you felt, Felix.  I guess my feelings aren't related to getting rid of the detritus but rather clearing the way for the girl to go forward without the clutter from Round 1.

Xxx
J

[Felix]

That's a really interesting description of how you felt, Felix.  I guess my feelings aren't related to getting rid of the detritus but rather clearing the way for the girl to go forward without the clutter from Round 1.

Xxx
J

That actually sounds a lot healthier.

[anjaq]

Ah yes - I remember - they had clothes swap days at the trans support group here. I guess it may have worked in some cases but mostly not between MtF and FtM but rater between detransitioners or ->-bleeped-<-s and MtFs.

I just remembered - I actually did pack a box of stuff that I declared to be "boy stuff" and put it away somewhere. It was more of a symbolic act, I think - like a ritual - sind it was probably less than 20% of my clothing and even those were not really that typical male, it was mostly underwear, very large pullovers and maybe some T Shirts and some of the "military style" clothes. Reading this here I realized that I probably did not really own that much distinctively male clothes pre transition. Maybe that is because of my age then, but I never owned or wore male shirts or jackets or business clothes or shoes. I guess if I had owned them, I so would have dumped them as well. I had to wear a male evening clothing once - with shirt and shoes and jacket and pants and even a bowtie (it was the only time I did that and I never ever touched a tie ). It was for a prom night and I sooo hated it. That was with age 16 or so though and I only had to do something like that 2 more times - for my graduation from school and for a funeral. I think I gave those clothes to my mom and she did whoknowswhat with it once they were obsolete.

[Julia-Madrid]

I just remembered - I actually did pack a box of stuff that I declared to be "boy stuff" and put it away somewhere. It was more of a symbolic act, I think - like a ritual - sind it was probably less than 20% of my clothing and even those were not really that typical male, it was mostly underwear, very large pullovers and maybe some T Shirts and some of the "military style" clothes.

Yeah Anjaq, the ritual thing resonates with me too.  Also a few "fetish" items, not in a sexual sense, but a few things that I cannot really let go of.  Like some of my prettiest cuff-links, which I may well continue to use with the occasional smart work shirt (would get those made next year one I have proper breasties), or a few casual shirts with such nice detailing that I owe it to myself to at least try them at some point and see how they work as girl items.

[Gina Taylor]

I was lucky, well not so lucky in the fact i had no choice.

My X threw all my cloths away, both M and F when i was on vacation in the local mental floor of our wonderful local hospital.

Grrr. Had some nice F cloths.

'Y'know Mrs. Izzy, that's a shame! Kind of reminds me of a TG movie I saw once were the transsexual's wife arrive home early and just as he arrives at his apartment she's throwing out all his feminine clothes out the window!

[Gina Taylor]

On January 1st of 2014 when I decided to go full time, it was such a load off my shoulders when I got rid of all my male clothes!   It felt so liberating for me and I felt s good!