Firstly, I think I should warn that my perspective could be, and probably is, heavily biased by projection of my life since I also initially came out to family at a slightly younger age and experienced a roughly similar process of it being totally erased as time passed. Also, obviously only you can ultimately judge what you need and what the best outcome will be but, based on your description, I don't think simply trying to ignore or suppress the dysphoria will work well in the long-term. As said above, it commonly consumes people and intensifies as time passes until there's a mountain of toxic emotions and life regrets. In my view, you deserve better than that and it isn't selfish to seek therapy or transition when you require it for your fundamental ability to experience happiness or to even exist in the world. For me, it's arbitrary social ideas and how they're instilled in everyone that's the problem, it's utterly wrong to expect you to suffer to preserve arbitrary gender and sex designations. While I think your empathy for those you love is admirable, you're deeply entitled to empathy too. People can change their ideas if they're not stubborn, you're very unlikely to be able to change your experience of a deeply-rooted gender. Good luck with whatever path you choose to pursue and I hope it brings you joy.
As an aside, may I ask if where you live has social housing that can be applied for? And, if so, do they give priority to people with vulnerable statuses? If that's the case then you can at least perhaps plan to leave quickly if needed and your income is relatively low.
