Judgment

[Literary X]

I just bought a binder and I'm so excited! I can't wait for it to arrive! It's good to know there's something I can do about the ole DD's until I save up enough for top surgery.
When my daddy found out I had bought a binder, he told me how unhealthy they are and how I shouldn't wear one and blah, blah, blah.  He said that by the time I'm forty I'll have problems as a result of it, and I told him that by the time I'm forty, I won't have breasts. Now he's going on and on about how terrible it is is that I want top surgery and about how I'm spitting in God's face. He's calling it "mutilation" and saying that I should just accept the way God made me because to do otherwise is a sin.  Ugh! Also, he called my doctor in an attempt to find out whether or not I'm on T.  I'm 18 and planning to move out as soon as I can, so frankly,  I don't feel my medical decisions are any of his business unless he's paying for it.
Have you ever been judged for wanting hormones and/or surgery? (I'm sure you have. Haven't we all?) If so, would you mind sharing your experience? Thanks!
~Verne~

[Ms Grace]

He's calling it "mutilation" and saying that I should just accept the way God made me because to do otherwise is a sin.

That old chestnut. Ask him if he feels the same about babies born with cleft lips and palates who have surgery to correct that, or how about babies with holes in their heart, or conjoined twins... etc. God must have a pretty wet face with all that spitting going on.

[Literary X]

That old chestnut. Ask him if he feels the same about babies born with cleft lips and palates who have surgery to correct that, or how about babies with holes in their heart, or conjoined twins... etc. God must have a pretty wet face with all that spitting going on.

Amen, sister!

[King Malachite]

Now he's going on and on about how terrible it is is that I want top surgery and about how I'm spitting in God's face. He's calling it "mutilation" and saying that I should just accept the way God made me because to do otherwise is a sin. 

My father tried to pull that similar type of "guilt" on me.  I asked him if he could show me the chapter and verse in the Bible where it calls it a sin and he said "Nope, start with Genesis and work your way up."  In other words, he couldn't tell me.  Maybe you could ask him that too, lol.

On another note, I think it's great that you're going to move out soon so you won't be constrained by his authority.  That is commendable.  Congrats on getting a binder btw! 

[Valleyrie]

Hey Literary X. What would be more unhealthy is not addressing your trans issues which you seem to be doing. Don't worry what anyone thinks, you do what you need to do to be happy!  I wouldn't let his opinions get in your way, you know who you are and you have a right to do whatever you want with your body.

I've been judged by one person before for wanting hormones and surgery but he's ignorant and stupid so his opinions mean nil to me. I can really care less what anyone thinks about me. I am my own person and there's not a single person that can change that or take it from me. I hope all goes well with your transition, it's definitely an exciting yet scary road! ^_^

[Felix]

Saying that you are going against what god made you is weird because it excludes the idea that your feeling male is also what god made you. Unless your dad thinks you are a god yourself, there's no reason to believe your identity is a choice, and no reason to oppose alterations you want to make to your body. The christianity I was brought up in taught me that your body is a temple, and properly respecting it and taking care of it is a duty. Gender-confirmation surgeries shouldn't be contraindicated in that context.

Most of the judgement I faced regarding hormones and surgery came from educated feminists who thought I was a traitor or confused by patriarchical oppression, or from people who have met my disabled child and are grasping at straws for an explanation as to how she got that way.

I did get the "mutilation" accusation from a couple of physicians, but I no longer require their services.

[suzifrommd]

Have you ever been judged for wanting hormones and/or surgery? (I'm sure you have. Haven't we all?) If so, would you mind sharing your experience? Thanks!

A couple of people where I work were talking behind my back. And a husband of one of my cousins criticized me on facebook.

It all adds up to a gigantic "meh".

No one gets to tell you what to do with your body.

ESPECIALLY someone who is not educated about transgender and doesn't realize we are wired to want to be a member of our identified gender. Far from being unnatural, it is COMPLETELY natural. There's nothing artificial about it.

REMEMBER THIS: God made you this way. God SENT you on the journey you're beginning. You are not "spitting in God's face." You are doing EXACTLY what God meant for you (or he wouldn't have made you this way).

If you're up to educating your father, trying repeating the following facts (he probably won't believe them the first time, but after he hears them enough, he might get to think about them):
* You didn't choose to be transgender
* Transgender is serious. Anxiety, depression, and even suicide are common among those who ignore it.
* It typically doesn't go away on its own.
* The only treatment with any success at all is to transition to one's identified gender.

Good luck. I wish you courage in abundance to follow your path.

[Literary X]

Saying that you are going against what god made you is weird because it excludes the idea that your feeling male is also what god made you.

Here's the thing, though. I don't feel male; I am agender. But I still have dysphoria. I don't necessarily want to masculinize, I want to de-feminize and present ambiguously.

[Felix]

Here's the thing, though. I don't feel male; I am agender. But I still have dysphoria. I don't necessarily want to masculinize, I want to de-feminize and present ambiguously.

I apologize for misgendering you there, I was probably just getting in my own head too much. Still, though, however you feel and who you are seems like it's as real and god-given as anything else people take as intrinsic and see as inoffensive.