Is my whole family on another planet?

[Aeyra]

This is going to be a very wierd posting, but oh well....

I came out to my parents about my ->-bleeped-<- about 5 years ago and they weren't too happy about it at all. I would think that since they are supposedly openminded people (not) they would understand....that weekend was a like a warzone.  Anyways, I basically told them I wasn't TG and it all died down. However, fast forward a year later and they are watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy....they like queers but my gender identity is a problem? Hell they expected me to be some perfect soldier for whatever self serving intentions they had, and my gender identity is grounds for disowning me? Especially when you let me act as a girl before we moved to South Dakotastan?

Fast forward to two years ago. They now watch all of the Blue State shows and crap and try to act hip and they think that they are cutting edge people from Manhatten....more like dill pickles from Cletus City, MO if you ask me.  I love my parents don't get me wrong, but I have no idea of what they are thinking half of the time. Recently I caught them watching a show on Discovery Channel about GRS and I am thinking "if you oppose TG so much why are you watching this show?" We haven't discussed my TG ever since that one night 5 years ago but something still bugs me. I have a good stash of womens clothes in the house and I don't have them all packed away good...but no word from them in years. No aggression, nothing. Also, my room and bedsheets have flowers on them...again, no attempt to masculinize me.

I think they may have yelled at me that one night long ago because South Dakotastan is a country that isn't very friendly to TGs. Granted there are worse places in the USA than here but SDstan isn't exactly paradise. ALso, for being authoritarian on both my mom and dad's sides, the family hierarchy for an authoritarian family is more comical and stupid rather than repressive. Both sides have had openly gay members (they would be a couple of my uncles). One ran off on my mom's side of the family and he lives somewhere in the DPRM (Democratic People's Republic of MInnesota), the other is somewhere in upstate NY and he lived with my grandparents there for a while. He was wierd, he stuck pictures of CHippendales on his computer's desktop.  The rest of my dad's relatives out there didn't approve of his gayness but they were more goofy too (my aunts and uncles there were plain wierd). My aunt and uncle and cousins in MT are somewhat of a survivalist type but my aunt went on about how the gays in San Francisco would dance and strut so funny....

I don't know whether to cry or start laughing at all of this......this would be analogous to the state/country of Tennessee becoming a bona fide Christian/Reblublican theocracy yet the governor, the legislature, and the Tennessee Supreme Court all are 100% outright LGBT (complete with Rainbow flags all over the place and on the National Guard vehicles), and the survivalist groups in Eastern TN are all part of the Unitarian Church. Basically, a Unitarian church where they hide machine guns, ammunition magazines and MREs in the tofu....oh, and the police force goes on about state sovereignty yet they want to read girly anime all the time...

Am I the only one that thinks this is wierd?

[Laurry]

Hi Aeyra.

We get to pick our friends, but family is something we are stuck with.  Most of the time, our families try to fit into whatever notion of "normal" they were raised with, but every now and then one of them...well, let's just say they add a little spice to the mix.  And every now and then, some of them are just plain nuts (clinical term for being a few fries short of a Happy Meal).

Your family actually seems fairly normal for a typical American home.

Now that they have had a while (i.e. years) to think about it, have you thought about discussing your TGism with them again?  They may be a little more open now than they were then.  You might look for the right time (like when they are watching a show on GRS?) and bring the topic up gently.  You could say something like "Remember when I told you I was TG, and then told you I wasn't?  I'm having second thoughts..."

Anyway, I liked the "dill pickles from Cletus City" comments...growing up in Oklahoma and living in Texas for the last 25 years has caused me to see MORE than my share of those kind of people.

Hugs....Laurry

[cindianna_jones]

You know, it sort of sounds like they are trying to learn about it just in case you haven't gotten over it.  They may have discovered one or more of your stashes.

The sheets may be not be a clue.  But then again they might.  It sounds like they've had 5 years to mold their opinion though.  You might give it another go.  I've found that the earlier you tell family, the sooner you can get through it.

Cindi

[MSF215]

I understand where you're comming from. I've been dropping hints for a while now, but none of them ever took. Some people can be very accepting of alternative life styles, just as long as it's an arms length away. You should bring up the subject again, though. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be.

[gina_taylor]

It's a really tough situation when you go to your parents and tell them that you are a transgendered person and that you'd like to transition.  Like Laurry said, "We get to pick our friends, but family is something we are stuck with." My parents found out about me eight years ago, and they haven't really come to terms with it, but it does take time. Try to educate and bring your parents up to date is the best thing. The more that they see you in your new form is actually the better for you.

Gina 

[cyanide]

think of it as like watching america's funniest video. people like to watch other people's life and laugh about it.. as long  as it does not happen to them.
perhaps they are watching those shows to get a more understanding?  or  it can be just an ineresting topic.  it is not unheard of that 'regular' people are interested in TG.

i guess what i am trying to say is that they are mad because they canot believe that it is happening to them.
what do you think you'll feel (though you probaly will be more accepting i am sure)  if suddnely your mother grew a beard or your dad decide to wear a dress?  i do believe that they love you in some ways.

that's my .02