You're not alone. My situation is very similar to yours except that I am a 26 year old transwoman. I have a job but it is needed to pay for all the debts and car payments that I need to make. I can only save around $200 a month. The cost of surgery is always at the back of my mind and I know that at my current rate will take years to save up enough.
I suggest you make a plan and try to stick with it. If you have long hair, then cut it slightly shorter. You continue to cut it shorter and shorter until you have it the way you want. If you take things slowly it won't be so much of a shock to your family and hopefully they come to accept you as you are.
My family knows I am feminine but they don't know I'm transgender. I still feel anxiety about how they may react when I tell them. Unfortunately, just being trans means your life is harder than most, but there is a silver lining. You will be much stronger than if you weren't transgender.
You will have to learn to face your fears, learn to be patient and above all else learn to be yourself no matter what anyone says.
"A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step" -Fortune cookie
Take small steps and you will feel better as long as you are always moving towards your goal. Why do you think most trans people feel better once they start hormones, even though the results aren't instant.
Coming to this forum is a great start. Continue taking small steps and you will soon realize how far you have gone. Good luck!