Do you percieve men and women in the same way being on E rather than T

[stephaniec]

Just kind of curious if how you perceive the different sexes had changed in any way. A male or females personality or anatomy any different. Is your concept of relationships changed. Not necessarily how you perceive another's anatomy .How you perceive another's thought process . Does a males thought process register differently being on estrogen. Like having a close friend pre HRT ,does your perception of that relationship differ. Or say your MTF and attracted to females  does the onslaught of estrogen have you perceive a difference in the way you understand and relate to that person. as an example, You have a girl friend before and after HRT is there a difference in understanding  of the wants and needs of that person. I was just wondering because honestly I've been celibate    for  a long time I quite lost on relationships. My attraction to both men and women sexually and personally wise has remained the same , other then a little more uninhibited in thinking towards the male. I know growing up male how I perceive the female body is different now that I'm on estrogen. God's creation is manifest in both male and female anatomy ,but my  perception of how that beauty is understood and respected has changed quite a lot . Just wondering if anyone else has experienced a change in attitude towards the mental and physical aspect of the other humans they encounter in their daily life.

[Carrie Liz]

The biggest thing was just that I became more aware of male privilege and of the constant micro-aggressions and harassments that women have to deal with.

Pre-transition, I made a mistake and thought that my girlfriend had a ride home with friends after a roller derby bout, when really she was counting on me to take her home. I didn't know this, which led to her walking around the outside of the arena in the middle of the city at night looking for me. She had a drunk creepy guy hitting on her, and she was FREAKING out, crying over the phone as she asked me in a panicked voice where I was. When I finally picked her up, I was an unsympathetic jerk. I didn't understand it, I was all "oh come on, it couldn't have been that bad." And, well, karma bit me in the a**. Now I have guys stalking me every time I walk through a seedy neighborhood, and it freaks me out too. I actually called her and apologized a few months ago, because I just didn't realize how it felt to actually go through it.

Aside from that, not much different. I was never able to understand guys pre-transition, and I still can't. I am indeed more aware of when guys are talking about their stupid drunken escapades and stealing stuff and other bulls*** "look at how dangerous and tough and manly I am" nonsense, but it bothered me back then too, so now it's just a decreased tolerance for it where it just really makes me roll my eyes and mentally think "okay, yeah, you're an insecure guy trying to prove to everyone that you have a big penis, yada yada yada."

Women, I'm much more empathetic toward their feminist causes now, but that's about it. I wanted to be included with them pre-transiton, and now I actually can be included with them. But honestly I still really don't feel initiated into the club yet. Maybe that will change once I start my new job, but not yet. I still don't really feel any more of a connection to my female friends from before transition.

[stephaniec]

I had an encounter with a group of girls back in my college years that opened my eyes a bit. I felt real being accepted as one of them. I haven't been able to replicate that experience , but it was good.

[mrs izzy]

As i progressed in my transition my emotions and thoughts of what gender i felt attracted to has changed.

I went from hetro. to hetro. Just playing for a different team.

[suzifrommd]

Might be my imagination, but hormones seem to have me "noticing" classically good looking male faces more than I used to. My sexual desire or interest hasn't changed, just my notice of faces.

And now that I have a pair of breasts of my own, breasts on other people no longer seem terribly interesting.

[pretty pauline]

I went from hetro. to hetro. Just playing for a different team.

Very well put, I remember when my transition was complete by brother couldn't understand why I was attracted to men, well I was hetro, I wasn't a lesbian, now playing for a different, my husband is hetro.

[stephaniec]

For me my perception of the male has just evovled more towards the total  person rather then their genitals

[Evelyn K]

I love, respect and adore women a whole lot more. (At least the respectable ones, which tends to be the majority of them.)

I reserve much growing hate, disgust and an affront for 'man'-kind in general.

[Just Shelly]

Oh Wow have things changed!! Not only do I see men in a different light sexually but how they behave and relate is so noticeably different.

Men always seem to be all serious and view women as if they're not as smart or hard working because we don't make everything look as if its rocket science. It could be the most mediocre type task and a man will make it seem like he conquered Mount Everest! but then if a woman does that same task, they view it as something trivial.

The best way I can explain men is that they don't get excited when they should and get excited over things they shouldn't. When I was on T I never even noticed men were like this....or even myself at times!

Relating with women seems so natural but it wasn't something I thought I would or could ever do. I never tried to act any differently it just happened. I catch myself saying things very girly at times, like awww, or that's sooo cute and my favorite "you booger" and I do use dear and hun often but not as much as some women. My eyes view the world in a different light on E but I still notice some of the darkness of T at times. I always considered myself fairly empathetic as a male, I now consider myself less empathetic than many females but still much more than most men.

Even though I can get fairly disgusted with how men act and relate, I still love to be held and kissed by them!!

[stephaniec]

yes, and that constant spitting thing , god that's really so gross

[Hikari]

Sure, for men they are just scarier than before....

For women, my romantic interest increased beyond what it had been before, and what I find attractive in a woman and what I like to wear and look like started to wildly diverge.

[Teela Renee]

I grew a strong distaste for men, hate the way they smell and behave. I even lost some of my previous male friends from pre transition cause I couldnt stand their behavior like I could before.  And women, lets just say I like them alot more then before. Tho my patience with how some of them behave has gone out the window also.

[Beverly]

I no longer find the thought of being penetrated to be repellent. Does that count for a change of perspective?

[stephaniec]

I no longer find the thought of being penetrated to be repellent. Does that count for a change of perspective?

yes

[antonia]

I've definitely changed and I now see the world differently than I did before.

1. I now notice sexist remarks that just did not register before and they have changed how I see some people, but partially that's because they now treat me differently.

2. I've never been excited by gay sex but when thinking of myself as a woman I sometimes thought about sex with guys, now on E and as I've accepted that I'm a trans woman and think of myself as such all the time I find that the prospect of male company is exciting me but I also find that it's a very different attraction. Rather than a possessive carnal desire it's much more an emotional thing but I've always been very girly in this way, it's just become more pronounced.

3. I now like the smell of some men

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

This is a good question that asks us to scratch the surface of a very complex and hard to measure psychological and physiological change. The brain changes, not just in terms of its chemical makeup, but in size and in shape. I could get into so many examples about how my interactions and experiences have changed, especially because I was not attracted to men before hrt but now am. I'll give one example of something that happened recently that could never have happened pre HRT. Last weekend I attended a wedding with my two children. It was an outdoor wedding, and a steady rain was falling when we arrived 20 minutes before the ceremony. It turns out that the wedding tent was not large enough to cover all the guests, and I was irritated that I was sitting in a damp chair and holding umbrellas over me and my two children. I was so mad that I was considering leaving. In the midst (not the mist, it was raining harder) of my anger, my friend D showed up. Now, I find D a distinguished and attractive man, and we've grown close after my transition. Very close. But we're not going to date, and I don't pine for him. But he saw an empty seat next to me, and asked to sit. I can hardly do justice to the almost instant calm and relief I had when she sat next to me and held my umbrella over my head while I nuzzled close to him. I felt swathed in warmth and protection. Anger gone. I thought the ceremony was way too short.

I get a similar calm feeling when I sniff my 6 year old son's head, as I do every night when he's settling in to sleep. I distinctly remember that pre-hrt I thought his head smell a little foul. I try the same sniff text with my daughter and the experience is entirely neutral. I can smell her shampoo, but I get no emotional feedback (we're close in other ways.)

Those are just a couple of the more pleasant changes that have occurred.

[Mermaid]

So much sexism it hurts.

Seems E makes a lot of people jump on the "man-hating" bandwagon, wonder if victimizing yourself and degrading men helps some people validate their femininity. I can't explain some of these opinions...

People who don't just look to themselves will notice men have it bad, worse than women. Men can't exactly show emotion, men can't be feminine but women can be masculine, men are expected to be self-sufficient, females rarely end up homeless... And try looking at suicide statistics, men are ahead.

I've had plenty of unpleasant experiences with females before, particularly younger ones. Having them ask my number while their jealous male friends stare and then get spat on because of jealousy? Check. Having a car full of drunk girls stop and start talking while I'm on my on walking home? Check.
Are these supposed to be good experiences? Should I have felt lucky because women are angels and they were giving me attention? I only felt discomfort.

Women are always victims and guys are always villains, this mentality has to disappear. The people who've hurt me the most in life were women, my favourite friends and family happen to be men.

[stephaniec]

I've definitely changed and I now see the world differently than I did before.

1. I now notice sexist remarks that just did not register before and they have changed how I see some people, but partially that's because they now treat me differently.

2. I've never been excited by gay sex but when thinking of myself as a woman I sometimes thought about sex with guys, now on E and as I've accepted that I'm a trans woman and think of myself as such all the time I find that the prospect of male company is exciting me but I also find that it's a very different attraction. Rather than a possessive carnal desire it's much more an emotional thing but I've always been very girly in this way, it's just become more pronounced.

3. I now like the smell of some men

well, I admit to getting more turned on by men then I did before. My feelings for woman will always be there it just my fantasies are going a little off the deep end for men

[Juliett]

So much sexism it hurts.

Seems E makes a lot of people jump on the "man-hating" bandwagon, wonder if victimizing yourself and degrading men helps some people validate their femininity. I can't explain some of these opinions...

People who don't just look to themselves will notice men have it bad, worse than women. Men can't exactly show emotion, men can't be feminine but women can be masculine, men are expected to be self-sufficient, cis-females rarely end up homeless... And try looking at suicide statistics, men are ahead.

I've had plenty of unpleasant experiences with females before, particularly younger ones. Having them ask my number while their jealous male friends stare and then get spat on because of jealousy? Check. Having a car full of drunk girls stop and start talking while I'm on my on walking home? Check.
Are these supposed to be good experiences? Should I have felt lucky because women are angels and they were giving me attention? I only felt discomfort.

Women are always victims and guys are always villains, this mentality has to disappear. The people who've hurt me the most in life were women, my favourite friends and family happen to be men.

I fail to see any "hate" in this thread.
Trans people hold a very unique perspective in the world. We know more about gender than any other humans.
All I see are women sharing their experiences, objective yes, but far from hateful.
We can preach equality until we're blue in the face, but the fact of biology is that estrogen and testosterone each promotes a different set of physical, physiological, and psychological traits.
While these sets of traits are not all encompassing, they do influence the vast majority to some extent.
In fact, most of the posts in this thread abandon the homophobia that tends to be prevalent in the forum to relate how our attraction to men and our understanding sexuality has grown.
Perhaps your unpleasant experiences are related to your pessimism.

[stephaniec]

I don't see any rambling hatred. Some trans are lesbian, bisexual straight, they just have different perspectives on how they view things. so far no ones gone overboard.