sat down and wrote out how I feel

[jaybutterfly]

found a common trend I've noticed. I know this might seem odd to some people on here later on, but this is my thoughts for the last little while.

The things about my body I don't like are all masculine features (face, shoulders, my muscle mass, bodyhair, beard, hips, etc) but the weird part is, I can't actually tell if my genitals themselves are a problem for me, or if I just feel they are pointless due to my non-existent sexual response from them (which could be down to a lot of reasons according to my doctor, on top of my body stuff). I'd like to be visibly recognized as female and appear convincingly feminine, but I'm not feeling a massive rejection towards my parts... in fact, part of me thinks if they responded correctly, I might consider keeping them as they are, like I could be happy if the vast majority of me was girl.

I know that doesn't make an awful lot of sense. XD

anyway, I've been messing about with clothes and make up recently, had my first proper night out in girl clothes for the best part of a year. I would put up a pic but I dont know how to attach a file

anyway, just some thoughts, not sure how many others feel that way

[mrs izzy]

Everyone handles there dysphoria there own way.

No one is right or wrong on how they walk there path.

Today might be good, tomorrow might change due to life changes.

Nothing is a race, we all move along at our own pace.

Hugs and enjoy your calm.

[Illuminess]

My biggest problem with the male bits has always been unwanted arousal when I'm just trying to be snuggly with someone. It's not only uncomfortable, but it's embarrassing, and makes me worry that the other person will think I want to shag. Plus, having to tuck can't be healthy on the urinary tract. Before I was even thinking about transition I wished I didn't have any genitals, period. Sex isn't at all important to me, and having noticeable crotch bulge just doesn't make me feel very confident going anywhere in skinny jeans. I really wouldn't miss it. But not all trans girls get SRS. It's not a requirement. Just do whatever works for you.

[Beverly]

I can't actually tell if my genitals themselves are a problem for me, or if I just feel they are pointless due to my non-existent sexual response from them (which could be down to a lot of reasons according to my doctor, on top of my body stuff). I'd like to be visibly recognized as female and appear convincingly feminine, but I'm not feeling a massive rejection towards my parts...

I was always of the opinion that my lower bits were not really a problem, then I started passing well enough socially that I often find myself in ladies' locker rooms due to one of my hobbies because I frequently get soaked to the skin depending on weather. All of a sudden I am in a large room with women and girls in various states of undress, running in and out of showers and so forth - and I have the wrong genitals.

My dysphoria about down below has increased massively because I never expected to be in this position. I never believed that such a thing could happen - a level of acceptance such as that but it has and those bits that I was indifferent about are now a problem. So I have made arrangements for GRS early next year and I am waiting to get all the paperwork and such sorted.

Transition is a funny business. Just because you feel one way now does not mean that you will always feel that way.

[Illuminess]

Transition is a funny business. Just because you feel one way now does not mean that you will always feel that way.

That can also be applied to those who have had regrets about GRS. I've never really understood what the fuss was about when hearing guy friends speak of their junk like it's the holy grail. If all I had to do was take a pill, go to bed, and then wake up with lady parts, I'd forfeit eating for a month to pay for it. It's not even about specifically wanting a vagina; I just know I'd be immensely relieved at having something that served a greater, less embarrassing purpose. Unfortunately, for me, I may never be able to afford that procedure. I know I should 'never say never', but that's just my bleak outlook as of today. Until then, it's happy tucking. I'm not even comfortable saying that.

[Beverly]

That can also be applied to those who have had regrets about GRS. I've never really understood what the fuss was about when hearing guy friends speak of their junk like it's the holy grail

Yes, but I have not got that far yet. I know myself well enough to realise that I could live with that sort of regret as I have no great love for my male part and never have had. I have always been very ambivalent about it which is why I thought I could tolerate it in transition, after all who was ever going to see it?

All of a sudden, whether I pass or not, I am accepted into very, very female spaces. I suspect that I do pass as young girls (10 years and up) do not even bat an eyelid or say anything nor are they very reticient about stripping for the showers with me there. All of a sudden I am so uncomfortable in that space and yet I need to be there because falling into sea water means I need to change. I cannot drive home in soaked salty clothes. I need to shower so I try to be the last one in but that stopped working when a couple of other girls I was chatting to tagged along with me and dragged me in.

Being physically correct has taken on an urgency I never imagined.

Until then, it's happy tucking. I'm not even comfortable saying that.

Indeed.

[lostnostalgist]

i feel the same way!!!!! and its totally okay and awesome, tbh girls with dicks are way cooler! its NOT INCORRECT to have a dick if you're a girl, and dicks don't have to be male come on.... it functions differently if you're on hormones or even if you're not just cause you're a girl!!

of course i say that but, yeah i have some dysphoria around my parts. i would call it social dysphoria though. i just think this is a horribly sad reason to get GRS. maybe it will happen to me (idk as long as i'm at this fork im my road) i guess i really don't know what i'm talking about so i shouldn't be talking. i would just much rather be in situations where i don't HAVE to be afraid if someone finds out, they could always find out some other way too!

i would get GRS because it seems like the right thing to do at the time, or if it sounded like fun and i knew i wasnt going to miss my dick. my gonads on the other hand i definitely feel are totally useless.

[Illuminess]

I really hate the D word. Always have.

[lostnostalgist]

I really hate the D word. Always have.

well i'm sorry, it's not exactly my fault. i'm trying to think of better language tbh but its really hard.

[Illuminess]

well i'm sorry, it's not exactly my fault. i'm trying to think of better language tbh but its really hard.

I'm not criticising you for it, just saying. I guess there really isn't any alternative slang that isn't vulgar or ridiculous sounding in some way; at least not anything that is necessarily expressive. And "penis" just sounds like it's little and sick. We sure do pick the most bizarre words for things in the English language. In fact, "dick" makes me think of "perpendicular". What the hell kind of word is that? haha

[jaybutterfly]

I'm not criticising you for it, just saying. I guess there really isn't any alternative slang that isn't vulgar or ridiculous sounding in some way; at least not anything that is necessarily expressive. And "penis" just sounds like it's little and sick. We sure do pick the most bizarre words for things in the English language. In fact, "dick" makes me think of "perpendicular". What the hell kind of word is that? haha

It's an odd word I must say: I've heard many slang for it, but I dont think of genitals as nice things anyway so haha

[Illuminess]

It's an odd word I must say: I've heard many slang for it, but I dont think of genitals as nice things anyway so haha

Yeah. In my case, a highly unnecessary physical feature as I've never really been a very sexual person, nor am I interested in procreating. Since HRT is supposed to lower libido, I wonder what it does to someone who doesn't have one to begin with. Probably just reinforce the issue, I'd assume, and not give some kind of paradoxical effect.