Emotionally, I found it part thrilling and part scary. Thrilling to be finally taking the steps, and scary because I was not sure what to expect and how I would feel. I think I was aware that I was "killing off" an aspect of me that I would not see again, and I had mixed feelings about that. I also was giving up having children (but I also had very low count to begin with so it was less an issue), and I was not sure I would ever date again (I still don't know, but I now suspect I will). I actually looked at myself in the mirror as I took the first pills, almost asking "are you sure you want to do this?" I think I was approaching it with eyes wide open and trying to make sure I would have no regrets. This conflict faded within a week or so. I'm not sure exactly when it vanished entirely.
Physically, I felt some relief. I reacted fairly quickly, and I was not on a high dose of E either. What I noticed earliest was skin changes and I lost what libido I had. I had very low testosterone, so I fell to null very fast with not much spiro. That sort of set a lot in motion in itself emotionally and physically. It was liberating in some ways. I did start to feel breast "pangs" within about two weeks, and noticed tissue growth within the first month.
I expect you will have "moments" of discovery of the effects. Much of what happens is so gradual that you don't realise it's happening until you see a cumulative effect -- like no erections or face and muscle changes. They are "oh, wow! It's really happening."
I should add that there were two times over 3 and a half years that I was off hormones, and those were for FFS and now pre SRS. I really noticed then and notice now the loss of the E, and Sabine was/is not a happy woman.
