Are you able to go out with other trans or are you stuck alone or with non-t

[stephaniec]

Are you able to go out with other trans friend or other members of the LGBT community or have you always just gone out with a significant other or non LGBT friends. Just curious because I been pretty much solitary for a long time except for the people I know from my local coffee hang out. I know a few people but not on a going to the bar or movie level. I've been invited to a barbecue by friends that I haven't seen since  High school and don't know I trans yet, even though I might reply by telling them. I suspect I won't go to the barbecue because I have the feeling it will all get focused towards me and it's not the position I particularly care to be in. I really don't no others from the LGBT community other then Susan's. It's probably why I post a lot. There's recently been other posts about the loneliness and not having other trans friends to talk to. Just kind of curious how widespread in the community is this problem.

[Ms Grace]

I've been out with and met up with a number of other trans people, no problemo! Some of them I have met through Susan's, others via other means. Sydney has a big trans population (relatively speaking) so it's not to hard to meet up with others, would be much harder if it was in a small town I imagine.

[Shantel]

I think it's pretty wide spread. I spend most of my time out with my spouse partly because we enjoy each other's company and in equal part because I haven't exercised good sense with two former friends both trans women and I am not entirely at fault but am on a short leash just the same. I won't go into details other than to say that for some reason the real needy nut cases are drawn to me and I've had more than enough drama to last a lifetime.

Best place to meet other trans folks and make a few friends is at transgender support group meetings. I used to attend one in Seattle that met bi-monthly and go out later and have a few drinks and go dancing at a trans friendly gay bar. Been thinking of a revisit soon with one of our FtM guys just for old time sake.

[Jessica Merriman]

I found a wonderful real life support group. We usually have 18 or so members meet every week and the center is the 5th biggest in the world. I have made friendships which will last my whole life. It is amazing how much something like this can make transition so much better and enjoyable. I have met a couple of girls on this site in real life as well and I value all the members here. I could not be as successful without both Susan's and the real life group. You just never feel alone. 

[stephaniec]

I found a wonderful real life support group. We usually have 18 or so members meet every week and the center is the 5th biggest in the world. I have made friendships which will last my whole life. It is amazing how much something like this can make transition so much better and enjoyable. I have met a couple of girls on this site in real life as well and I value all the members here. I could not be as successful without both Susan's and the real life group. You just never feel alone. 

yea, It's probably would be the best thing to do to join a T-group. Transitioning with non-T people is totally difficult because they just don't comprehend. That's why I think I'm going to wait awhile before attempting a close encounter with old non trans friends. I've definitely change beyond the being not noticeable  faze. There is a large LGBT community here in Chicago so it's an option.

[Jaime R D]

I'm mostly a major homebody outside of work. I do visit with other people(you know, the normal ones...) occasionally. There is another transwoman in town, but her and I really don't have anything in common outside of being trans, so I don't bother.

[Kylie]

I'm there with you, I don't have any LGBT friends.  All of my transitioning activities so far have been stealth, so none of my friends know yet.  I have come very close to going to local trans meetings the last two months, but chicken out.  If it were a handful of people, i would have no problem going, but there are like 15-20 people.  That just seems overwhelming.  Im not good in large groups where i dont know people to begin with, i cant imagine how out of place i would feel going to one of those gatherings.  Wish they had something to ease people in.

[kelly_aus]

I don't have much to do with other trans people, but I am friends with a bunch of cis lesbians.

[Carrie Liz]

Frankly I think my problem is that I have too many trans friends. I've met so many local trans girls my age that I've had a blast hanging out with... my whole social life is with other trans women now. I could frankly use a few cis friends to balance it out.

[Kira Phoenix]

Hmm...I'm not sure how to say this without offending some here, so I'll just say it.

I used to hang out with trans people all the time. But in my experience...I have found them to be a bit too....crazy? I don't know, I just find it to be frustrating to find another transgender person to have a straight head on their shoulders. I used to have an MTF girlfriend but she went all crazy on me and left me...I've also had a few trans friends who continued to complain about things without feeling the need to do anything to help themselves. I've got few friends in life, and much fewer trans friends whom I will really hang out with. I've seen so much judgement without our own community which is rather ironic considering. As a result, I have been resigned to pretty much sitting on the sidelines.

[Evelyn K]

^^ It sure does seem a lot of us have "issues". I wouldn't mind having a few stable transwomen friends to hang with. It would be so reaffirming. But the "issues" just turn me away.

I consider myself pretty normal FWIW

I guess in all facets of life, "It's hard to find good people."

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I don't have any friends that I hang out with, cis or trans.

I'm not sure if I would want to hang out with someone who only had the trans thing in common with me and nothing else. That seems really pointless to me. Now, if I met some trans people that were into the same music, or whatever? That would be cool. But, I can't even find any cis people that I have anything in common with. So, for a town of this size, finding a transperson in the same boat would be even more unlikely. I suppose I could go visit the local LGBT group. But it's been years since I checked them out and I would probably be just as bored there now as I was back then.

[Ms Grace]

...I really don't have anything in common outside of being trans...

I think this is a big issue. I generally prefer to talk about anything except trans issues when I go out and always try to steer the topic of discussion towards everyday stuff. If all the person can talk about is trans problems I'm not that interested. Fortunately haven't met many like that.

But it does seem it's either all cis or all trans, would be nice to see a little bit of a mix sometimes!

[judithlynn]

Well in the last year I have been out with Cindy in Adelaide; Grace, Catherine, Aisla, Roisinstraya (all in Sydney), Eva Marie in Thousand Oaks California (and again in North Hollywood) , JillF and Eva Marie in the Hollowood Hills celebrating JillF coming of Age party and Breanne in Banning Beaumont in California. All great friends I met at Susans. I also had a real blast of a weekend in Bournemouth (United Kingdom) with a TS friend from the UK, met up with Padma in Exeter (Susans - United Kingdom), another TS friend in London and Kay (Susans) in Melbourne Australia.

So you can tell I love to meet people. I also love to talk about fashion, make up in fact anything remotely "Girly"
Judith

[antonia]

I have a lot of local trans friends, like with any other groups the level headed ones seem to form their own social groups which tend to be harder to get into than the more adventurous ones but once you know one person the odds are he/she will introduce you to a group of similar thinking people.

I also feel you have to be a bit picky about who your friends are because it's easy to get sucked into the darker side of trans existence if you are not careful.

[Evelyn K]

Curious, has anyone ever gone to a trans group meeting and got approached by someone, "Hey I know you! From Susans, [insert name] right?"

How did that awkward situation work out?

[noeleena]

Hi,

I have a few trans people as friends very few infact and a few dresser,s mostly its through the forums though i do meet a very few when im over in Austraila dfor 6 weeks ,

I dont meet any here in New Zealand  any more im not part of any groups thats over because of a few issues in Christchurch  earth quakes and i,v lost all contacts , dont get me wrong i did for a number of years and things have changed,

my self im not trans or a dresser , im an intersexed female and so my life is with female,s / women and has been for many years  im part of society and our community here in  Waimate where i live allso a member of two Brass bands Oamaru and the Sally Army , 30 members together,

plus two in Austraila  Tasmania ,  Glenorchy and Clarance City Bands with 70 members ,

Im a member of a number of other groups and society,s so im well known and with in our groups  members some 1500,

In many aspects of my life what you have to realise is would i fit in  to the trans community and my issues and concerns if you like are they the same and would my acceptance be the same as a normal woman  in my many communitys im a member of,,

i had been told that no i would not be accepted , i thought that was rather a swift kick in the rear and a hard hit in the stomach, and this was from the States , wow,

So as i thought about this some more i had to realise im a female and life is quite different for us of cause i dont doubt there are some things that are the same ,

Of cause im not trying to be a woman  or like one ,   i am one allso how i dress is not to blend in or pass as is often quoted , i dont fit the , i look like a female so why would trans people wont to be around me as i have found out ,

I did try to get on with in the community just i found out we really did  not have much in  common after all , in a strange way i had more in common with those who are dresser,s ,

This of cause comes to i spent a lot of time talking with trans people and took time to get to know them and understand who they are and about thier  Lives,   so its not i dont know many of them , its a bit like why i dont have much time for or with men  only a few,

Being intersex is from birth and for me its about being a female as well ,

And im well accepted by those who know me and yes i meet many 100,s of people and to most im just another woman  who just happens to be well known ,

Hope this gives you an idear of,   because some of us are different theres no reason why we cant be part of society like other people i proved time and time again you  can, just, you have to do your part as well and get out there and show others about who you are and and youll be accepted , with the right attitude it can be done,

...noeleena...

[Ms Grace]

Curious, has anyone ever gone to a trans group meeting and got approached by someone, "Hey I know you! From Susans, [insert name] right?"

How did that awkward situation work out?

Hasn't, but I expect it may at some point. Wouldn't be too awkward - would indicate they're either trans themselves, gender questioning or a lurking ->-bleeped-<-. I'd say "yes, are you you a member there too?" and take it from there.

[nikkit72]

I do not have many friends, trans or cis. I am just not that social and it probably shows to those that know me. However, every now and again I catch up with Rosie (H,H,H Honeypot on susans) for a coffee and a bit of cake and attempt too put the world to rights. Mostly, I end up going everywhere with my wife with whom I have done pretty much everything with as she was my best friend before we got married. Also,  I am not stuck with non T friends as I do not tend to categorize people I associate with. I tend to associate with those that are happy to accept me for who and what I am. Anything else is just too much hastle.

Nikki

[Jessika Lin]

Friends? What are those? It's probably just as well though, pretty much every time I speak I feel like punching myself in the throat (due to my voice).