first session tomorrow what is it really

[Jen72]

This may seem like a dumb question although the only dumb question is the one not asked.

Anyway is the first meeting more or less the therapist getting to know me rather then anything shall we say constructive? Or is it really totally more on the person and the problems they have kind of thing?  I now I should have asked this sooner guess getting jitters:)  Starting to feel like omg what the heck am I doing.

[mrs izzy]

Most time it is more a fact finding secession.

It also should give you a feel if it's a fit for you.

There might be time that is spent on your troubles or issues.

Me honest with your questions and answets.

Lots of luck.

[Jen72]

Thank you and yes was thinking its more of an introduction then anything else.  And shy/introvert but yes honest that goes without question.  Since so reserved I have at least written down a lot of things that way I cant cop out on something or forget it:)  Happen to read your bottom notes and I myself believe this judge thyself before you judge others. Not same exactly but...

[Ms Grace]

I know it can be hard to say certain things (believe me, been there). But the sooner you get to exactly what it is you want to say the better (and less expensive) the overall experience. Here is a person who has heard it all, they aren't there to judge you (or they shouldn't be). Yes, you want to feel comfortable with them and hopefully you do, but don't leave it until the last five minutes to raise your gender issues. All the best!

[JohannaJohn]

This may seem like a dumb question although the only dumb question is the one not asked.

Anyway is the first meeting more or less the therapist getting to know me rather then anything shall we say constructive? Or is it really totally more on the person and the problems they have kind of thing?  I now I should have asked this sooner guess getting jitters:)  Starting to feel like omg what the heck am I doing.

I wish you all the very best on this exploration of your true self.  Ultimately YOU will have to decide who you are.  But many professional experts can help you with this exploration of yourself, and the gals here at Susan's have tons of personal real-life experience to help you, too.  And give you tons of emotional support, and a big hug, too, when you need it.

May you find your true self!  And be true to yourself.

[Brenda E]

Good luck, Jen!  That first therapy appointment is a huge step in the right direction.  Remember the feeling of relief (?) after you made the call to book the appointment in the first place?  You survived that and nothing bad happened.  You'll feel like that after you walk out of his/her office today, your first appointment under your belt, and it's refreshing and relaxing.

Or maybe it's just me who felt like that...

Like Grace says, get straight to the point.  You're there for gender-related issues, so make sure that's what you focus on.  The first meeting will be at least 50% paperwork (form filling, going over the information you provided with the therapist etc.), but he/she should be be very aware of why you're there by the end of that first session.  I touched upon the issues for about fifteen minutes towards the end of my first session, but we really dived in from the second session onward.

Great job on writing important things down too.  I've had a few therapy sessions that have gone off track and we ended up not talking about things I wanted to talk about, and a laundry list of things to cover in each meeting would have been very valuable.  These days I often take notes with me, and I think it's an important part of being an active participant in the therapy rather than seeing it as entirely the therapist's responsibility.  Your sessions, your money, you should take the conversation in the direction you want it to go to.

And I say this to everybody: enjoy the process.  Sometimes it's frustrating and difficult questions are asked, but your therapist isn't (or shouldn't be) trying to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself.  It's a process of discovery - a very interesting process - and one full of highs and lows.  But going into it with the attitude that you're going to enjoy the sessions and look forward to them each week makes it so much more valuable that going in there with the goal of getting a HRT letter in as few sessions as possible and then dumping the therapist.  Build a rapport, a relationship, because there's going to be countless times during your transition and afterwards that you wish you had a therapist you could call on.

Let us know how that first session goes!

[Jen72]

I thought I should update how it went.  To be honest I did not really have much paper work myself more her stating the obvious formalities that kind of thing.  As for the list well what I basically did is I had to wait about a month so it was a long time and had time to think on things that related to how I felt etc. Never was a writer or anything and my hand writing skill tbh are bad so I ended up typing some of it out then added more.  I ended up with 8 pages of stuff some kind of repeated anyway I understood first meeting is more or less an introduction then anything so didn't get into it all that much got 1 page down lol.

For anyone else do WRITE THNGS DOWN even if you don't take it to therapist or don't say things at very least it may help you touch on matters that you don't want to forget and help you be more open to therapist and really its absolutely your choice to divulge the material so why not!:)

Long story short even the writing things down helps a lot to help yourself guide yourself.  The meeting itself went awesome I am sure the next one more productive less introduction if you will:))! 

At the very least I had found out what it really takes to get hormones as I feel myself mine are just plain off.  For me in Alberta Canada the process is a minimum of 3 sessions then referral to the gatekeeper.  The latter takes about 8-12 months to see.  I guess patience is the key and sure it wasn't all the different for most either.  And I have surmised that herbal/black market hormones not a good idea.  Had tried a herbal mix once and really didn't do much first time and second attempt nothing yet the risks involved with it were probably not good at all.  Only tried a month at a time so nothing major.

Lastly thank you all the support here is great and it did help get my but into doing something about this.  I am a 42 old who was basically born a shy/introvert yet now I guess stuffed it down so long I need to get her out.  At the very least even if I don't transition I shall at least grow less shelled if you will!:)  Yes refreshing and relaxing to get things of your chest a simplified term maybe be Liberation:)

[Brenda E]

Glad to hear that it went fairly well.

We're about the same age.  Patience, after waiting 40 odd years to recognize and then deal with this problem, can be a huge pain in the ass.  It's as if we've been waiting our entire lives, only to be told to wait some more.  Good on you for not taking the black market route though.

Can you go private in Cananda and speed up the process?

[JohannaJohn]

I thought I should update how it went.  To be honest I did not really have much paper work myself more her stating the obvious formalities that kind of thing.  As for the list well what I basically did is I had to wait about a month so it was a long time and had time to think on things that related to how I felt etc. Never was a writer or anything and my hand writing skill tbh are bad so I ended up typing some of it out then added more.  I ended up with 8 pages of stuff some kind of repeated anyway I understood first meeting is more or less an introduction then anything so didn't get into it all that much got 1 page down lol.

For anyone else do WRITE THNGS DOWN even if you don't take it to therapist or don't say things at very least it may help you touch on matters that you don't want to forget and help you be more open to therapist and really its absolutely your choice to divulge the material so why not!:)

Long story short even the writing things down helps a lot to help yourself guide yourself.  The meeting itself went awesome I am sure the next one more productive less introduction if you will:))! 

At the very least I had found out what it really takes to get hormones as I feel myself mine are just plain off.  For me in Alberta Canada the process is a minimum of 3 sessions then referral to the gatekeeper.  The latter takes about 8-12 months to see.  I guess patience is the key and sure it wasn't all the different for most either.  And I have surmised that herbal/black market hormones not a good idea.  Had tried a herbal mix once and really didn't do much first time and second attempt nothing yet the risks involved with it were probably not good at all.  Only tried a month at a time so nothing major.

Lastly thank you all the support here is great and it did help get my but into doing something about this.  I am a 42 old who was basically born a shy/introvert yet now I guess stuffed it down so long I need to get her out.  At the very least even if I don't transition I shall at least grow less shelled if you will!:)  Yes refreshing and relaxing to get things of your chest a simplified term maybe be Liberation:)

Well, I wish you best of feelings and decision-making on your life journeys, whatever you decide.

You are right, from what I have investigated, most of those herbals probably won't get you the results you might want.

One of them, which I will only call P.M. because it is banned to discuss on this Website (for good reason), has shown some wildly dangerous side effects and health risks.

Some of the others may not harm you, but probably won't help you much either.  In other words, most of them, for most people, most of the time, are probably a waste of your time and your money -- even though some of them might not harm you.

Have patience on the waiting time, for it all will be worth it in the end depending on your decisions.

I have been fortunate to live in Latin America for 8 years, in that now that I have made my decisions, I don't have to wait so long as where you are in Canada because there are few barriers or gatekeepers here.  So where I live is helping me to avoid the agony of so long a wait.

I am 2 months on strong full-dose HRT with micronized progesterone and estradiol valerate -- I already have small female breasts -- not big -- but SO nice!
And I found the fountain of youth with my growing hair.  I cry at unpredictable moments.  These hormones are great.  Powerful.  Best of all, all of my business and personal relationships have improved, and I feel euphoric happiness something like 90% of the time.

Johanna.

[Jen72]

On the waiting aspect I think good for me for two reasons 1 I am a smoker so time for me to quit and 2 at the moment guess still trying to get ducks in a row so to speak and of course scared of the future.  All that being said I don't think I have been really happy for most of my life content, not sad but not happy either.  However not huge but I think I have gotten somewhat happier after first session I hope next we be even better:) One thing for sure however this goes I will grow and at least come out of my shell somewhat but eh we all have our issues mine thankfully is really smoking weight and the ape syndrome or it is baboon if going bald lol.  Just happen to be at a fork in life and figuring out which path fits me which is more important then money all though poor I am humble and don't care if poor rest of my life well fair off would be nice but to be rich on the mental side is way way more valueable:)  On private its a no not rich enough but like anything in life patience yields better enrichment then running straight in and realizing you should have waited:)

[JohannaJohn]

Yes great idea to quit smoking in general, this is an awful habit...but also because from what I read smoking increases risks a lot while on HRT...so your idea to quit smoking before any possible HRT is a great life choice for you, congratulations!

Hey, I am 56, 2 months on HRT, and wow I am amazed on the fantastic effects of estrogen and progesterone on my hair!

You are younger than I am, yet my hair is growing out nicely, and is much softer and fuller, and not only that it is mostly growing out in the medium natural brown of my youth...

It might help your hair, too.  Good luck!

Johanna.