Hey guys, I need some advice. It's a long story, but I'll try and explain as best as possible.
When I first started HRT I lived in one of the major Alaskan cities, and it was shortly before I came to Osaka, Japan. It was always a weird situation, but the doctor I had was willing to treat me provided I come back to the states once a year and get routine blood tests abroad and send the results to her. It's expensive to fly in or out of Alaska and from Japan it's at least $2,000. I was willing though, to feel normal. How screwed up is that? I'm willing to pay a crazy amount to just not hate myself.
Anyway, I only partially held up my end of the bargain. I've been trying to find a doctor here, but I can't. No matter who I contacted, they wouldn't do bloodwork without knowing what it was for or without treating me or without sending the results to a Japanese doctor. I get that, but I haven't been able to find anyone who will do my bloodwork or who treats trans people here. If I could find a doctor, I wouldn't have needed her services and if I could find a clinic to refer me to the major hospital this would all be moot. Hell, if I could find someone who will just take my blood and run some tests, but nope. So I haven't been able to hold up that part of the deal.
My doctor is also closing practice to move to a different part of the state. I contacted the office to ask if she knew of another doctor in town who I could call and have my medical records sent to and to see if she had got the bloodwork from the doctor in Florida from my pre-surgery clearance. In the past, I was told by the office that would be good enough to get me at least one last refill while I found something here. Now I have been told that she can't help me, which stings like hell but I can't be too upset. At least she worked with me for two and a half years, you know? On top of that, she "doesn't know of a doctor who treats transgendered patients, good luck finding a practitioner but I suggest coming back to America". Welp, screw you too. I'm here because that's where the work is. But it's just a matter of walking away from legal contracts, asking my husband to give up a good job that he is legally committed to or paying two rents in two countries? Why didn't I think of that?
My Japanese isn't good enough to deal with medical stuff here so I'm restricted to English speaking places, and even though I know I haven't exhausted them all, I can't find them. The ones I can find are either in Tokyo, which is too damn far from Osaka and I would get so lost leaving this area, or they are baptist/Christian hospitals. To add to it, I don't need therapy and even if they wanted to me to go back to square one, I don't speak the language well enough.
I desperately don't want to lose my hormones, but I don't see an alternative. At least not while I live here unless I get insanely lucky, exhaust every option which would mean my husband would be calling places trying to explain for me, or we tell a lot of people about me. I honestly don't know what to do and I feel like crying. I finally got my surgery and this happens. All I can think is "of course it would, why not? Life is ->-bleeped-<- wall to wall, so why did I think it was going to change?"
I'm not asking for sympathy. I ended up in this situation and I guess had it been important to me I would have just paid the money to fly back into Alaska every six months or I would I have stayed there while Joe worked here. I don't even really know what I'm asking for. It's been so hot here and in combination with not being able to sleep on my side because of too surgery I'm really, really tired and I've been awake since 3:50am.
I doubt anyone here knows where I can go or who I can see here, and that's fine. I live here and I don't freaking know, even after two years. I am going to keep looking, but I am losing two weeks of concentrated effort because my brother-in-law decided to visit for two weeks without even consulting us about his travel dates. Lovely. But I do want to ask, does anyone have any advice with suddenly stoping HRT? I don't know what to expect, and I'm worried about the physical and emotional fallout.
