My 6 year old daughter said to me today, "Daddy, who are you?" 9 weeks into HRT.

[JohannaJohn]

Hi gals, Johanna here again.  I am SO happy about my transition, 9 weeks into HRT.

I live an American living in Latin America, and my beautiful blonde princess daughter Nicole said to me today as we walked into the pool area at our apt. complex:

"Daddy, who are you?"  We only speak in English to each other since I have taught her fluent English since she was a 1 yea old baby here.  She of course speaks fluent Spanish as well.

I said, "Nicole, do you mean to ask this questions because we frequently enjoy painting Daddy's toenails and fingernails together all the time, and painting Nicole's nails together, and because you have seen my red frilly lace underwear in the washing machine, and because you see my hair starting to grow out long in a beautiful natural brown no gray?"

Nicole said, "Yes, Daddy."  Note that she has been starting at my boobs sometimes.  She hasn't said anything about my new boobs or nipples, but she looks at them now.

I said, "Well, Nicole, you know, your Daddy is a great loving daddy for you, but your Daddy does many mommy things for you too.  Even though I don't live with your real mommy anymore, even since you were a baby I have done mommy things for you like change your diapers, mommy things like cook all of your food for you and for me, mommy things like wash and hang and fold all your clothes for you, and other mommy things."

I continued, "I am not your real mommy, you have only one real mommy.  But since I do many mommy things for you, sometimes it is great for me to do mommy things like paint my nails and use mommy underwear.  And to SHARE TOGETHER some mommy things like cooking together, doing our nails together, and other stuff together."

Nicole agreed with me, and seemed to like thse answers.  I haven't told her that I am likely transitioning to become a full woman, but I will have more questions to answer when my boobs get even a lot more noticeable in maybe a mionth or a little more, since my boobies sure are sore a lot and sure are growing fast. 

Do any of your gals (or guys) (or gal/guys) have any similar experiences to share, or any other hlepful comments?

Hugs,
Johanna
9 weeks on full-dose HRT and in the sky with happiness about my boobies and my great new relationship skills because I now understand hoiw girls FEEL and solve things intuitively.

[suzifrommd]

It's a big deal in my family what I'm to be called. Currently I have no "name". I'm uncomfortable being called Dad, but we haven't come up with anything else that my kids are comfortable calling me. When my daughter refers to me when talking to my ex, she calls me "other parent". When I call them and leave a message, I say "this is your parent". We tried various names, but neither seemed right.

Our language needs an AGREED UPON word for "the female parent who is not the mother." There are lots of possibilities but none that's recognized universally.

[mrs izzy]

My kids call me by my female nick name.

I am there parent but have been called by youngest son his mom on a introduction.

[Madeline182]

Seems like a nice start to revealing what all is really going on w/ "daddy". ^_^
I wish I would have had the opportunity to tell my niece (age 6) that she has an aunt now.. My only other sibling, her mother, did an amazing job at keeping my transition private for the shortest amount of time possible. Luckily for y'all, I have no more energy to rant at this time.
So, the person I share parental units with and I work at the same company and almost on the same team.
It's not common at all for 'visitors' to show up at work, but about two weeks ago as I was getting settled in, my niece ran up and hugged me and we immediately started chatting and having fun looking at her pictures on my desk.  Well, imagine my surprise when an agent on my team asked, "Who's this beautiful girl?"... lol and this little 'princess in waiting' immediately responds, "oh, she's my uncle"
Smh I love her so much, but I am soo disappointed that coming out was done for me..

Ps
I came out to my team first, prior to starting HRT

[JohannaJohn]

My kids call me by my female nick name.

I am there parent but have been called by youngest son his mom on a introduction.

That is SO sweet to be called his mommy.


Nicole has told me "I have only one mommy" about 2 weeks ago.  But now she can see that her "Daddy" does lots more "Mommy" things than most of the cis males in this country.  Where I live is very "machista" and things that love to do for Nicole such as cooking, washing clothes, child care, and so on, are considered "women's work" here by both cis males and cis females.

So I probably the only example among all her friends here of a "Daddy" who does "Mommy things."

Wow I am happy about all this.



Johanna.

[JohannaJohn]

It's a big deal in my family what I'm to be called. Currently I have no "name". I'm uncomfortable being called Dad, but we haven't come up with anything else that my kids are comfortable calling me. When my daughter refers to me when talking to my ex, she calls me "other parent". When I call them and leave a message, I say "this is your parent". We tried various names, but neither seemed right.

Our language needs an AGREED UPON word for "the female parent who is not the mother." There are lots of possibilities but none that's recognized universally.

Gee Suzi, great post.  +1 for your original thinking about a language change for "agreed upon word for the female parent who is not the biological mother."

I had never thought of this before reading your post.  You clearly speak from personal experience.  Great.

Johanna.

[JohannaJohn]

Seems like a nice start to revealing what all is really going on w/ "daddy". ^_^
I wish I would have had the opportunity to tell my niece (age 6) that she has an aunt now.. My only other sibling, her mother, did an amazing job at keeping my transition private for the shortest amount of time possible. Luckily for y'all, I have no more energy to rant at this time.
So, the person I share parental units with and I work at the same company and almost on the same team.
It's not common at all for 'visitors' to show up at work, but about two weeks ago as I was getting settled in, my niece ran up and hugged me and we immediately started chatting and having fun looking at her pictures on my desk.  Well, imagine my surprise when an agent on my team asked, "Who's this beautiful girl?"... lol and this little 'princess in waiting' immediately responds, "oh, she's my uncle"
Smh I love her so much, but I am soo disappointed that coming out was done for me..

Ps
I came out to my team first, prior to starting HRT

Indeed, Maddie, what is "really" going on with "Daddy" -- this comment by you makes me smile a lot.

I suppose "Daddy" is turning into a "Mommy."



Johanna.

[Jenna Marie]

I don't have kids, but I know several lesbian couples who do, and they've all had to deal with the "how do you tell one mother from the other by title" thing. Most go with one being "mom" and the other "mommy," one "mama" and the other "Mom," that sort of thing. It doesn't matter to them which is the actual biological mother, though, and they don't have to deal with the bio mom being jealous of the role, so you've got some extra challenges...

[JohannaJohn]

I don't have kids, but I know several lesbian couples who do, and they've all had to deal with the "how do you tell one mother from the other by title" thing. Most go with one being "mom" and the other "mommy," one "mama" and the other "Mom," that sort of thing. It doesn't matter to them which is the actual biological mother, though, and they don't have to deal with the bio mom being jealous of the role, so you've got some extra challenges...

Yes, Jenna, I may have some extra challenges that your lesbian couples friends don't have...

But Nicole is SO great with me, we have SO much fun together, she is such a happy little girl, that I am optimistic about it all, with regard to Nicole.

Maybe "Maddy" as one girl here suggested when I first joined Susan's...



Johanna.

[mac1]

Hi gals, Johanna here again.  I am SO happy about my transition, 9 weeks into HRT.

I live an American living in Latin America, and my beautiful blonde princess daughter Nicole said to me today as we walked into the pool area at our apt. complex:.........................................

I continued, "I am not your real mommy, you have only one real mommy.  But since I do many mommy things for you, sometimes it is great for me to do mommy things like paint my nails and use mommy underwear.  And to SHARE TOGETHER some mommy things like cooking together, doing our nails together, and other stuff together."

....................
Hugs,
Johanna
.....................

Where is her real mommy? Is there any cis woman in her life?

[JohannaJohn]

Where is her real mommy? Is there any cis woman in her life?

Nicole lives with her biological mother usually 5 nights a week, and with me usually 2 nights a week, depending in part on whether school is in session, or on vacation.

I see her biological mother about every 2 or 3 days face to face.  Her biological mother doesn't know about my transition yet, but she has looked at me a little strangely recently, since my boobies are now more noticeable and my hair is growing out longer in beautiful light brown with slight curl.

Johanna.

[jname]

I would assume your six year old would have shared a lot of what you said with her mom by now. Are you transitioning? When you go FT the 'daddy does some mommy things' doesn't really fit then? Tbh your former spouse might just assume your now gay

[JohannaJohn]

I would assume your six year old would have shared a lot of what you said with her mom by now. Are you transitioning? When you go FT the 'daddy does some mommy things' doesn't really fit then? Tbh your former spouse might just assume your now gay

Yes, my former spouse might indeed think that.  Once or twice last year I wore a push-up bra and male shirt when I went to my ex's house to pick up Nicole.  I sort of covered my "push-up" (non-real boobs), but she may have seen that.

Now, of course, I have REAL boobs that are growing fast -- cannot just take the push-up bra and be a boy again -- these "mamas" are here to stay!!!

Yes, she might think I am gay.

Yes, it is possible Nicole already said something to her mother.  Dunno.

Johanna.