I don't like being made fun of

[Cin]

When I'm in the company of my friends, they rip on each other for whatever reason, and they don't take it too seriously, except for me... I really don't like being joked about. I'm a perfectly fine looking human being, but my hair is thin (It sucks), and my friend made a snarky comment about that, and I was absolutely gutted, I immediately expressed disdain and walked away from the group, and haven't smiled since tuesday. I'm avoiding this friend now. Since this is the 'arrgggh' forum, I need to let this out...

I have a sense of humor but I don't cross the line, I don't make fun of anyone's appearance, it's just wrong. It seems I can never get away from people who joke about appearances, A few years ago, I was kinda chubby and some called me 'fat', but after lots of hard work, I lost all my excess weight, just when I was starting to feel 'right', I realized I had pushed myself a little too much, I lost weight the unhealthy way, according to my dermatologist and general physician...... and it caused my hair to shed.... I've grown a little bit of it back, with healthy diet and hair loss medication. I can clearly see more volume to my hair than before I started all this.

I'm trying really hard not to hate my own reflection in the mirror and someone just smashes everything with a hammer. It's not easy for me, my body does the opposite of what I want it to be doing, I'm pretty upset about it, hair loss is a hard thing for everybody, but it's amplified in my case because of my gender dysphoria..... It drives me mad. 

[Mark3]

I can surely understand what you're saying.. In school it seemed the cool thing to do to rip anyone different or weak.. Being called names, spit on, and humiliated all the time smashed how I saw myself too.. I can honestly say though, that with age most people like your friend mature and become more sensetive about they're words.. I hope you find that to be true for you also..
Keep watch on your dysphoria, and don't be afraid to see a gender specialist doctor..

[Athena]

Hugs

It is never easy to take jokes about things you are self conscious about.

[Cin]

I don't really know how to set boundaries or draw the line, I don't hate him, but I feel like there are certain things you just shouldn't joke about. I know this is subjective, and it's important to respect every individual. I'm afraid that if I try to make that clear, I'll make it even worse, If I show my weakness, I'm afraid that I'd be painting a bullseye on my head.

I learned a lesson on facebook, a friend of mine clicked a really unflattering photo of mine and posted it on facebook, I wanted to make a big fuss about it, because it hurt me, but I decided to just let it go.... and nobody noticed it.....

[Mark3]

Yeah, its true, usually we are much more worried about things than we need to be, like you were about your Fb photo..

[Cin]

I'm pretty reclusive these days, I avoid getting too close to people because once I do, the jokes start flying, I know that they aren't meant to hurt me but I'm quite sensitive. Sometimes I wonder if I should really care because I feel detached to this body and I'm not really trying to present myself as best as possible unlike the other people.

[Mark3]

That's very understandable and natural to feel that way.. 

[Cin]

I wish people would just leave me alone, I'm not really doing well with my depression. Seems to me life will only get worse, and I don't know if I have what it takes to stand up and deal with life. I'm pretty hurt right now, about something that was said days ago.... I can't get over it...

[Athena]

Try to get therapy. Even if they aren't a gender specialist I think they would be able to help you through difficult times. Also by the sounds of it I would suggest you find out the number of the local crisis center and keep it nearby if you should get overwhelmed.

For the short term get outside go to a park if you live in the city, get some sun. Focus on walking and enjoying the outdoors, it should help.

[Miss_Bungle1991]

I was made fun of a lot back in the day. I basically adopted a "F--- you" attitude and went on my way. Once it happened a certain number of times, I just didn't care anymore.

[Ms Grace]

When I was at school (maaaaaaaaany years ago now) I noticed that the kids in our group who reacted to being picked on were then teased mercilessly. Not viciously, just unrelentingly. Those who didn't bat an eye at a jibe were left alone (that was me, by the way, I never rose to the bait). It was all very childish, but that's what that kind of insulting is anyway. When I got tired of listening to them do it to other people I just changed my group of friends (I was fortunate enough to have been cultivating several escape routes). Ultimately picking on people because of their appearance is the sign of an extremely insecure person, maybe it's time to find a new friend.

[Jill F]

I'm with Grace here.  You don't deserve to have "friends" like that.  Petty, childish ballbusting over appearances is a red flag to me about whom I should be spending my precious time with. 

I cut people like that out of my life a long time ago and just kept the people who were always genuine and supportive.

[Cin]

Try to get therapy. Even if they aren't a gender specialist I think they would be able to help you through difficult times. Also by the sounds of it I would suggest you find out the number of the local crisis center and keep it nearby if you should get overwhelmed.

For the short term get outside go to a park if you live in the city, get some sun. Focus on walking and enjoying the outdoors, it should help.

I feel pretty good at home, all alone. Every time I meet my friends, I'm like "oh heck, here we go again". I do love going out alone, strangers don't really judge.

[Cin]

When I was at school (maaaaaaaaany years ago now) I noticed that the kids in our group who reacted to being picked on were then teased mercilessly. Not viciously, just unrelentingly. Those who didn't bat an eye at a jibe were left alone (that was me, by the way, I never rose to the bait). It was all very childish, but that's what that kind of insulting is anyway. When I got tired of listening to them do it to other people I just changed my group of friends (I was fortunate enough to have been cultivating several escape routes). Ultimately picking on people because of their appearance is the sign of an extremely insecure person, maybe it's time to find a new friend.

I kinda have to deal with him everyday, I did warn him once, I said "Back off, don't ever say that again, it may catch on with everyone else". The last thing I want is a class full of people calling me whatever he calls me. Thankfully he stopped but, the jokes haven't stopped yet.

I could make fun of his own shortcomings, but I refuse to stoop so low, I have a voice in my head that says "no".

[Cin]

I'm with Grace here.  You don't deserve to have "friends" like that.  Petty, childish ballbusting over appearances is a red flag to me about whom I should be spending my precious time with. 

I cut people like that out of my life a long time ago and just kept the people who were always genuine and supportive.

I wish I could cut them off, but I have no choice but to deal with them..... in a year or two maybe but not until then.

I'm pretty sick of it, I'm doing all I can to fight my hair loss, I've had success, but it's taking really long, and sometimes I lose hope.

[Mark3]

I feel pretty good at home, all alone. Every time I meet my friends, I'm like "oh heck, here we go again". I do love going out alone, strangers don't really judge.

I grew up with some kids from the neighborhood, they're all I knew. They bullied me a lot but I didn't have any option except spending time alone, I didn't know what to do.?
I know making new friends is hard, especially if your different, but real friends don't judge you or make you feel bad to be with them..
There are also support groups and maybe other events to help you meet new people.. True friends shouldn make you feel good to be with them..