What are you thinking? 9.0

[Shantel]

I'm joining the YMCA, I just can't wait to meet the Village People! 

[Shantel]

I won't be outdone by the Swamp Monster, and eat your heart out Laura Squirrel!

[Bombadil]

ok, so a "friend" has become homeless basically. we met because our dogs fell in love with each other. over the past year, I've come to realize that the friendship is very one-sided. she calls us a friend but I really only hear from her if she wants something or on rare occasion if she wants to hang out and can't find anyone else she will settle for me. I've helped her move and taken care of her dog quite a bit. at first I was picking her dog up and bringing it home and supplying the dog food. she is now in a situation where she needs to find a place for her dogs to stay. I can't take the little one, it would never work. But motley does love her pit and I'm torn. so here's what I am thinking

I think I could offer to take c but put a time limit on it and be firm. like I will take c until we go to california for thanksgiving. but we want her to buy dog food (we been buying it when she is here) and if cinn needs vet care she is responsible. hmm.. and the other rule Id add is that if she is coming to visit cinn I want her to let me know, and not just show up here.

I just need to be firm and not feel like I'm wrong for setting boundaries. She's created the situation she's in.

And

[Bombadil]

How about metamorph as a name for here? hmmm

[LordKAT]

How about metamorph as a name for here? hmmm

Define metamorph. It could work.

[Jaime R D]

I won't be outdone by the Swamp Monster, and eat your heart out Laura Squirrel!

What? There's a swamp monster around here? 

[Liam Erik]

Sounds reasonable to me, Christopher.

My crippled ewe is making me sad; I don't really feel like I should keep her alive much longer.  She has her good days and her bad days, and today was a very bad one with trying to stand up and stay up.  Sometimes, like this morning, she just can't get up, and she spins out and falls over and over again, which is horrible to watch.  But her problem is that one of her back legs is partially paralyzed, which means if I let her lean on me, she's fine, and we can even run just fine about as fast as I can keep up.  So... I spent a good chunk of the day acting as a sheep crutch. 

I sometimes see other people's animals and think I'd never let it get that far, but now I'm seeing just how you end up getting that far.  She's happy, she can feed herself and so forth, and it never feels like the right time to euthanize... and here I am, Erik the part time sheep crutch.  I finally abandoned her when she got to be trekking the correct direction on the slope, strong leg downhill. 

[Shantel]

What? There's a swamp monster around here?

OK I have CRS so you'll have to exsqueeze me, I meant the Horsey Face Marsh Monster!

[Mark3]

"human dignity + compassion = peace"

[Rainbow Brite]

How is it I can't keep the guy I love? but old guys want to get into my pants all day long.

[LordKAT]

OK I have CRS so you'll have to exsqueeze me, I meant the Horsey Face Marsh Monster!

Good thing it isn't very descriptive name.

[Jaime R D]

Good thing it isn't very descriptive name.

Oh, but it most certainly is.  I scare people all the time.

[Edge]

My ecology class went to a salt marsh on a field trip a couple weeks ago. Marshes are great. Monsters are also great. Therefore, marsh monsters are also great.

It kind of bothers me when people bring up "which came first: the chicken or the egg?" The egg came first since chickens are descended from other egg laying animals.

My boyfriend pointed out last night that I don't seem to care about my friends. He wasn't saying it to be mean. It's a valid point. I'm... actually not sure how I feel about this. Do I care about my friends? To what extent do I care about them and is it really less than other people care about their friends? Do I want to care about my friends?
I responded that it wasn't so much that I don't care about them. It's that I'm convinced they don't care about me. Which is true and they don't. But I wonder... If I stay emotionally distant from them because I think they don't care about me, do they stay emotionally distant from me because they think I don't care about them? Even if this were the case, how would I fix it? Would I even want it fixed? Why wouldn't I?

I'm also thinking, over the years I've become cold and kind of harsh. Or maybe everyone else got less harsh. Or maybe they just act as if I've become harsh because it's me who is being harsh to others instead of others harsh to me. (It is and has always been socially acceptable to hurt me more than I hurt anyone else.) I don't know.
I like being cold. I wonder why.

[ElDudette]

My ecology class went to a salt marsh on a field trip a couple weeks ago. Marshes are great. Monsters are also great. Therefore, marsh monsters are also great.

It kind of bothers me when people bring up "which came first: the chicken or the egg?" The egg came first since chickens are descended from other egg laying animals.

My boyfriend pointed out last night that I don't seem to care about my friends. He wasn't saying it to be mean. It's a valid point. I'm... actually not sure how I feel about this. Do I care about my friends? To what extent do I care about them and is it really less than other people care about their friends? Do I want to care about my friends?
I responded that it wasn't so much that I don't care about them. It's that I'm convinced they don't care about me. Which is true and they don't. But I wonder... If I stay emotionally distant from them because I think they don't care about me, do they stay emotionally distant from me because they think I don't care about them? Even if this were the case, how would I fix it? Would I even want it fixed? Why wouldn't I?

I'm also thinking, over the years I've become cold and kind of harsh. Or maybe everyone else got less harsh. Or maybe they just act as if I've become harsh because it's me who is being harsh to others instead of others harsh to me. (It is and has always been socially acceptable to hurt me more than I hurt anyone else.) I don't know.
I like being cold. I wonder why.

I've gone the opposite way. With age I've become less bitter & resentful and more warm & caring.  I care deeply about my friends, even thought I'm not integral to their existences.


As for what am I thinking

"VO5 shampoo + conditioner actually made my split ends manageable!"   Seriously, I'm getting mucho less tangles out at the ends when brushing.. Thank you sample packets! You've convinced me to switch after I runn out of my current selection

[Edge]

I wouldn't say my coldness and emotional distance is due to being bitter or resentful. Although I do feel kind of bitter that that's automatically what people think. It would be nice if, for once, I could talk and someone could understand what I'm saying. Instead, it's like we speak different languages.

[LordKAT]

Oh, but it most certainly is.  I scare people all the time.

Wouldn't know about that, you haven't scared me yet.  All your pics say you are wrong on that point.

[LordKAT]

I wouldn't say my coldness and emotional distance is due to being bitter or resentful. Although I do feel kind of bitter that that's automatically what people think. It would be nice if, for once, I could talk and someone could understand what I'm saying. Instead, it's like we speak different languages.

My problem also. As a kid, I actually thought I must have come from some other place because no one could see what I saw or hear what I meant to say. I quit talking until I was in my 20's since it made no sense.

[Jaime R D]

Wouldn't know about that, you haven't scared me yet.  All your pics say you are wrong on that point.

I've told y'all that those were modeled by an old bag lady that I found.

[Shantel]

I've told y'all that those were modeled by an old bag lady that I found.

Uh Huh, and I have a bridge for sale doll face!

[Adam (birkin)]

My entire family is going to sit down as a family and watch the new episode of The Walking Dead together. We never do anything like that as a family, the last time we were excited about a show together was when Survivor was in its second season.

And it's like...how delightfully normal life has become since going stealth. My life used to revolve around constant fights with family about this process. Struggles to pass and dealing with the instrusiveness from others as a result. No matter where I went, home, work, school, there were always a-holes I had to defend myself against. But that doesn't happen anymore. My biggest piece of news is that I am looking forward to watching the new Walking Dead. It's great.

Today I woke up, went out and had a nice, leisurely lunch with my brother. Sat around enjoying my new video game. I may see a friend later, then Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's. Head home and watch TV with my mom and brothers. I overworked myself at my job for a few months, but now I am making more boundaries and sticking to more stable and traditional hours...because I realized, I really deserve to take time and enjoy my life. I deserve to make time for fun and for friends, because I made it through 5 years of really difficult ->-bleeped-<-. I fought for this normalcy and had to make a lot of hard decisions to get here, and now I deserve to live my life to the fullest.