What are you thinking? 9.0

[King Malachite]

Finally got my pay!  Too bad my hours have been cut.....or rather days, and it is about time to pay my mom for transportation again and get another bus pass.  *sigh*  Small step into adulthood....  I'm going to take a deep look into my finances in the first week of November (probably Nov. to see how close I will be to having the majority of my top surgery money by then.  I'm *hoping* it will be about $500 that I will have to save.  Regardless if I have that much left to save or more, with my hours still being cut, I'm still going to get my consultation that month, God-willing, and go ahead and book, unless I have some type of financial crisis happen to me.  I hope not, but hey, it happens. 

I'm excited for Black Friday this year.  I skipped it last year, but if I don't have to work and my mom is willing to take me, then I will go.  However, I find it very irritating that Black Friday seems to come earlier and earlier each year.  It is not even Black Friday anymore.  It's Gray Thursday.  I feel bad for the retail customer services workers that have to skip their dinner with family to work.  Heck with the way my boss is, I wouldn't be surprised if I had to work too.

[Liam Erik]

Sounds exciting you're getting your consult, Malachite. I hope it works out just like you want it to.

...

Going out to eat with my rich cousins means for me sitting silently in a dimly lit room too fancy for me for three or four hours.  They chat pleasantly about their plans to skydive in French Polynesia and I muse silently about my plans to bail and scrub the livestock water tub because there's too much manure in it.  I don't think we have much of an inkling about each other's planets.

[Adam (birkin)]

My brother owed me $90 and instead of that he gave me a set of Beats. The sound is awesome, sadly, they won't be so good for the bus trips because the sound leaks out a little and I don't want to be THAT guy with the loud music. Fortunately, I won't be taking the bus for too much longer and I can enjoy my music in places where it's less likely to disturb others.

I'm also a little concerned lately about people IRL finding me on here. I don't use any of my real information, however, I've been making more friends lately who hear me talk about things I talk about here - like my video games, work stories, some friends I have on here and tell people about,  etc. What if someone was interested in trans issues and stumbled across some of my posts and made the connection? I enjoy having the outlet online, and I don't really want to delete my account...yet at the same time, I'm very selective in the things I say to people regarding this process. There are things on Susan's that I don't open up about IRL. Similarly, people IRL know the truth about my medical situation and I've muddled the details about that on Susan's...so it could be potentially confusing for a friend who knows me IRL. It's not like I've been spending a ton of time online anyway but yeah.

[NathanielM]

I'm thinking about emotional manipulation and how people seem to either not notice it or think it's less harmfull then other things... From what I've seen and experienced it's pretty effectove at making you do things you actually don't want and making you feel pretty crappy.
In the same vein, I'm also thinking maybe I'm just weird about relationships (friends, family and romantic). There's this idea that's very common that you should do everything for the people you love and that you should live for that special someone and so on. I mean I get love is unconditional, as in: I love you based on that I love you and not that ou do this and this or are that and that. But if someone hurts you and it keeps going, or if people keep asking too much of you, or if a relationship's unhealthy for you... I don't see how it's romantic to let yourself to be hurt, or to do everything for people regardless of how it affects you. I do understand it's not easy sometimes to change patterns, I'm not judging anyone in that, just wondering about how society portrays relationships. In movies, in songs... love wins over everything. And I guess maybe the feeling does, it's hard to stop loving someone, but it seems it's being promoted to put everyone before yourself at all times and at all cost. And I don't want that from a relationship, in either direction. I think it's pretty important to love yourself as well as the other. (now to follow my own advice :p )

[LordKAT]

3 trips to the er doc in a weeks time is got to be unusual. I wonder if the boss will accept this doctor note.

[Shantel]

3 trips to the er doc in a weeks time is got to be unusual. I wonder if the boss will accept this doctor note.

OMG hope you're going to be OK!

[LordKAT]

Me too, they are guessing it is a skin infection. My legs were so swollen, they felt like the skin was going to pop. The swelling is slightly better but rash and stuff is still there. Between my legs and my daughters brain, health care is becoming hellth care.

[Shantel]

Me too, they are guessing it is a skin infection. My legs were so swollen, they felt like the skin was going to pop. The swelling is slightly better but rash and stuff is still there. Between my legs and my daughters brain, health care is becoming hellth care.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers dear friend, sounds like an awful situation right now!

[Sephirah]

Me too, they are guessing it is a skin infection. My legs were so swollen, they felt like the skin was going to pop. The swelling is slightly better but rash and stuff is still there. Between my legs and my daughters brain, health care is becoming hellth care.

*gives you a supermassive snuggly hug*

Hang in there, sweetie.

[LordKAT]

*gives you a supermassive snuggly hug*

Hang in there, sweetie.

Thanks, I really needed that.

[Blue Senpai]

Shoot, that ravenous hunger from T just set in. What am I going to eat...? @___@

[Sephirah]

That common sense seems to be remarkably... uncommon, and people seem to need to be told things that, when they are, the light bulb suddenly goes on and we get an "Of course! How wise you are!"

[Shantel]

That common sense seems to be remarkably... uncommon, and people seem to need to be told things that, when they are, the light bulb suddenly goes on and we get an "Of course! How wise you are!"

+1 Amen to that!

[Bombadil]

Me too, they are guessing it is a skin infection. My legs were so swollen, they felt like the skin was going to pop. The swelling is slightly better but rash and stuff is still there. Between my legs and my daughters brain, health care is becoming hellth care.

Wow. you can't get a break. Sending you some healing thoughts.

[LordKAT]

Wow. you can't get a break. Sending you some healing thoughts.

Thanks,

[immortal gypsy]

Me too, they are guessing it is a skin infection. My legs were so swollen, they felt like the skin was going to pop. The swelling is slightly better but rash and stuff is still there. Between my legs and my daughters brain, health care is becoming hellth care.

Yuck, double yuck and triple yuck. Lots of hugs for you and hope your luck turns around soon.

[King Malachite]

Sounds exciting you're getting your consult, Malachite. I hope it works out just like you want it to.

Thanks, man!  I'm hoping so too since this will be the first major think I have ever done in my life.




I'm thinking that I wish ECW was still on T.V.  If I was a professional wrestler, then ECW would have definitely been my "home".  Those were the good old days.

[Apples Mk.II]

I just finished paying the remaining balance for my FFS. So nothing to do save for buying more underwear and pyjamas. And questioning whether I will achieve passability  having dropped the jaw and chin procedures or  I will remain in the same pitiful state, but penniless.

[Jaime R D]

I'm feeling like I'm illegitimate around here now since I do self med. Does that mean I'm not really trans? 

[Mariah]

It just proves how much you had to do something and waiting wasn't an option. My trans aunt did the same before getting scripts for her HRT. However, I'm starting to wonder if that played a role in the heart problem she now has. It wouldn't surprise me. I recommend getting seen so you can get your HRT controlled and through the proper channels. You never know what harm you can cause doing it that way without it being monitored by a doctor.

I'm feeling like I'm illegitimate around here now since I do self med. Does that mean I'm not really trans?