I'm still doing my autopsy of the crush situation. I'm happy to say, however, that it doesn't really hurt anymore, per se.
What I don't get is that there's this one girl at work, and her and I have a really, really nice relationship. We laugh together SO MUCH. She's one of the funniest people I know, and she says she always looks forward to my random texts because they're always making her laugh. We work well as a team, I see when she needs me and I step in, and she does the same for me. Always stepping up to the plate for one another. We can literally talk for hours at a time without pausing the conversation. Sometimes I tend to dominate with people, but never with her, there's a good balance, I know when to step back and let her shine. And we're getting to know each other, I know about her kids, I know about her plans for the holidays, etc etc. My body language with her is open, friendly, so on. I know if we hung out outside of work, we'd have a great time with stories to tell.
But I don't like this girl in that way even though we have this nice thing going on. She's actually very very pretty, no doubt about it, I'm sure she could have her pick of any guy. But I don't think of her that way. So what I want to know is WHY. Why can I have this really awesome relationship with a girl I'm totally platonic with, but then when there's someone I like, I turn into someone else? With the girl I do like, we've hung out and I have barely said a word to her...it's awkward as all hell, my body language closes off, when I do interact with her it seems forced and weird. And the girl I like, she does seem drawn to me despite not liking me in the same way...she said that from the beginning she was trying to figure me out, and as far as I know she's closer to me than anyone else in our circle.
I love my friend to pieces, but I wish I had the type of relationship I had with her with my crush. Cause then I'd have the attraction (physical/romantic) and I'd have the awesome bantor and social chemistry as well. I feel like, for whatever reason I am drawn to this girl I like, but I can't even show her the best sides of myself. They just go somewhere else. Quite frankly, it's clear to me now why my crush doesn't like me...she doesn't know me! I've barely spoken to her, compared to how much I've spoken with everyone else, I've never truly opened up to her even though I felt like I was putting myself out there. I mean who would like the weird guy who asks you to hang out and then sits there with you in silence? :|
